


Returning a Kindness

by Elphaba_Fiyerobert



Category: 50 Shades of Grey - E. L. James, Fifty Shades (Movies) RPF, Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Inspired by 50 Shades of Grey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:12:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 49,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elphaba_Fiyerobert/pseuds/Elphaba_Fiyerobert
Summary: Ana Steele is a young woman trying to find her way in the big city, as well as a way to escape her past. Struggling to find work, she finds herself caught up in more than she ever first expected when she saves a young man from being mugged. A young man who is falling apart desperate for something or someone to cling onto.





	1. Chapter 1

Fifty Shades Fan fiction

Returning a Kindness

Chapter One

Ana turned the corner rushing, almost not seeing where she was going. She had just been for an interview at Grey Enterprises, one that hadn’t gone all that well. When she had first arrived they had been expecting a MR Steele, not a MS. Seriously? Since when did Anastasia sound like a man’s name? Then she was briskly told that there wasn’t an opening for a female member at this time. She had pointed out that it was against the law to discriminate against a prospective employee purely by their gender if they were capable of doing the job. Only to be met with a cool ‘Good day Ms Steele’ by some asshat called Hyde who thought he was God’s gift. She could tell the over tones of if you screw the boss you can have a job. That wasn’t Ana’s style. She hadn’t gotten to 22 years old and still a virgin by letting little boys like Hyde manipulate her. She made it very clear that she would be filing a case against them for sexual discrimination. 

Now she was storming down the road, a folder full of her qualifications and printed resumes under her arm. A cup of bitter cocoa in her hand trying to calm herself down. In this day and age, to be told no just for being a female! She never thought she would see the day. Normally she was a laid back person, however after 14 hours of being on her feet between various job interviews in brand new high heels her nerves were starting to fray. 

The sun was setting around her, she couldn’t wait to get back to her car. Soon she could relax in the bath at home, with a bottle of wine or two and try to ignore the nagging voice at the back of her head telling her that she wasn’t good enough. Her mother had told her that all her childhood, despite the fact her grades were almost top of the class. Ana had never felt like she could be anything. When her step father had passed away, leaving her a small sum of money she couldn’t leave fast enough. Travelling up to Seattle to start again, where no one knew her name. Three months on, her money was almost exhausted. Being hired in publishing or office work wasn’t anywhere near as easy as she had expected. Even with a pile of qualifications, glowing recommendations from her teachers and over a years experience. She was risking everything if she couldn’t find a job soon.

Ana sighed, throwing her empty cup in the trash. Trying to remember where she had left her car, what felt like a thousand hours before. She heard shouting, looking around for the source. She saw a young man, dressed in jogging clothes, being beaten up by 5 other men down one of the side streets. She instantly looked up at the street name over her head and rang 911 giving them the details. A squad car wouldn’t be more than a minute or two, but she couldn’t leave the man suffering for that long. He was fighting back well, but five on one was never good odds. Maybe her anger was telling her the wrong thing to do right now, putting herself in danger for a complete stranger. It wouldn’t stop her trying to help though.

“Hey!” Ana shouted coming into the alley, “Leave him alone.”

“Don’t, you will get hurt.” The man warned, “I will be okay.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “I called the police, so you better get outta here and leave him alone.”

“Oh really little girl?” one of the thugs broke off coming towards her. He shoved the papers out of her arms. “Maybe you should have kept on walking hero.”

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” Ana warned coolly, ignoring the spilling papers.

He laughed at her and swung a punch. She smiled sweetly ducking out the way and sending a kick to his knee breaking it. “I warned you.” She said in a sickly sweet voice. 

“Fucking bitch, I will kill you.” He snapped holding his knee.

“Really?” Ana asked, “How are you going to do that when you are crawling on the floor in agony?” 

“A broken bone won’t stop me.” He said grabbing her long hair in that pony tail she regretted.

“No, but this will.” She brought her knee up hard. He screamed, hitting the floor hard.

The man looked over at her, “Watch out.” He warned.

The pack had broken up, two each. “Well at least the odds are fair.” She muttered.

And then the fight was on in earnest. Kicks, punched, screams. Mostly from the attackers. Sirens shouted, squad cars blocking each end of the alley way. “Miss Steele, are you alright?” a cop shouted as they came to read the thugs their rights.

“Better then they are, Jose.” She replied with a smile on her lips. 

He laughed, “Girl, when are you gonna learn to stop playing with little boys?” he asked.

“When they stop thinking I am weak because I am female.” She retorted. She looked over at the man she had helped, “You okay?”

He brushed slightly bloody hair back from his face. “I think so, thank you Miss Steele.”

“Ana.” She said calmly, pulling a tissue from her pocket to tab at the blood in his hair line and split lip. “You will live, be a bit sore for a few days though.”

“Christian.” He replied, scooping up her dropped papers when she was done offering them to her. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

She took the papers sighing at the mud on her resumes. “My step father was in the army.”

They gave their statements, Ana overhearing that Christian commented his wallet and phone had been taken by a sixth attacker who had run off. “Do you need a ride home?” she asked politely, “Or a coffee?”

Christian looked around gauging exactly how far he was from home. “That would be nice actually, if it isn’t too much trouble.”

Ana smiled at him, “I wouldn’t offer if it was too much trouble. Come on, I’m parked by the Venus Bar. I can get you a whisky there, stave off the shock.”

“I am not in shock.” He objected quietly, following her.

“Sure, that’s why your hands are shaking.” She commented wryly.

He looked down, sure enough they were. Stupid, he had been in far worse situations than this in his youth. Hell he had been beaten half to death before, got up and walked away. Perhaps it was the suddenness of the attack. Or the fact it was on his run he took every evening after work. Listening to his ipod, he hadn’t even heard them come up behind him until it was too late. 

Ana led him into the bar, ordering him the whisky and herself a small rose wine and soda. “Sit.” She warned, pushing him gently towards a bar stool. “When you drink that, I will get you another.”

Christian took a sip and smiled, it wasn’t his usual quality, but good enough. “Trying to get me drunk Miss Steele?” he asked. 

“Trying to make sure you don’t fall to pieces on me on the way home.” She commented.

Christian smiled, sipping his drink. Sure enough the shaking did slow a little. As he started to take in his surroundings and the young girl in front of him fussing over a bruised eyes in her make up compact. She was much more attractive then he had first noticed. The smile she gave back to him when she saw him looking lit up her face making her look like an angel. He wasn’t used to a woman trying to take care of him, nor one defending him like she had. Something about her was different to the women he usually met. Or maybe it was just the flush he was feeling from nearly being at the end of his second glass on an empty stomach. “I am sorry about your eye.” He said softly.

She shrugged, “Just a bruise, it could have been a lot worse.”

“It would have been if you hadn’t come along, so thank you.” He replied, “I will repay you for these drinks and for the ride when I get to my spare wallet.”

“There is no need.” She insisted, “I didn’t help you to get anything back, I helped you because it was the right thing to do.”

“I will replay you.” He insisted.

She glared at him over her drink. “Do I need to kick your sexy behind as well?” Internally cringing when she realised what she had said. “I’m sorry, that was personal. I shouldn’t have.”

Christian broke into a smile, “If you can save me from a beating, I think I can allow you to comment on my behind even if you can’t see it in these sweat pants. If I can’t repay you, perhaps I could buy you dinner tomorrow?”

Ana hesitated for a long moment before nodding, “That would be nice.”

He took her hand and kissed it, “Not as nice as you are.”

She laughed, “I think the drink is going to your head Christian, its time to get you home.”

Grudgingly he had to agree, he wasn’t feeling at his best right now. “Just promise me you won’t put yourself in any more danger.”

“I will try, now car Mr.” she insisted.

“Yes Ma’am!” following her outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Returning a Kindness

Chapter two

Christian kept quiet on the short ride back to Escala, taking in the poor condition of the girl’s car. Clearly she had little money, yet she was still helping out a total stranger. It was a rare kindness in this day and age. No one did anything or anyone anymore unless they gained something in the process. She also showed no signs of having any idea that he was the CEO of Grey Enterprises. Being one of the most eligible bachelors in Seattle normally came with screaming girls falling all over him most of the time. Girls he barely even noticed, yet this strange woman seemed to be bewitching him. She had split her skirt during the fight, showing more than a little of her upper thigh as she drove. A sight he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off during the trip.

She dropped him outside, agreeing to meet him there at 7pm the next evening. Checking he would be okay, before giving him her number if he felt unwell and needed her to check on him. He had to bite back laughing at her kindness. If it was anyone else he would assume she was just trying to get in his pants or his cheque book. With her, it was clear her intentions were nothing but honourable. Showing real concern for him. It was odd, a sensation he wasn’t quite used to nagging at him. One he couldn’t name.

Slamming out of the elevator into his flat, he shouted for Taylor. Pouring himself a large whisky. Trying not to think about how bad he looked right now, although when he saw the shock in Taylor’s eyes before it was quickly hidden he knew it was pretty bad. “I got mugged.” He said quietly.

“Where sir? Did they take anything?” Taylor replied.

Christian gave the address before finishing his drink and pouring another. “Phone, wallet, credit cards, ipod. They got everything.”

Taylor nodded pulling out his phone, “I will get them all stopped and replaced by morning sir. I assume the police have been informed? I will pull the CCTV footage.”

Christian nodded, “I need you to pull a file for me as well. A Miss Ana Steele.”

“Miss Steele?” Taylor asked.

“She rescued me.” He said.

Taylor’s shock wasn’t so easy to hide this time, “Rescued you sir?”

“Six on one.” Christian muttered.

Taylor looked pained. “You were lucky sir.”

He nodded, “I wish I felt luckier.” 

“I will ask Gale to run you a hot bath, and fetch you something hot together.” He commented.

“That would be nice.” Grey answered quietly. Perhaps it was the quiet which was worrying Taylor quite so much. The event had shaken him, more than he liked to admit. He hated to think what would have happened if Ana hadn’t found them.

Christian lingered in the bath, letting some of the aches and pains melt away. There were bruises forming already, too many of them for his liking. He got Taylor to take pictures to send to the police as part of the case. Before eating a chicken casserole he couldn’t even really taste, he was too distracted. And perhaps a little on the way towards drunk as well. He had lost count of how many times he had refilled that whisky glass trying to get his head around what had happened that night. 

A girl had rescued him, an actual girl. He couldn’t wrap his head around that. A girl. A weak little girl, well not as weak as it turned out. Even so, a total stranger had stopped their life just to help him. That had never happened in his life, not since Grace had adopted him. Although if she ever found out what had happened between him and Elena (her best friend) he was pretty sure she would disown him. Finishing up his meal, he left the plate in the sink for Gail to wash later.

He went to his office to answer a few emails and finish his 6th drink since he got home. Or something like that. He told work he would be working from home, well he would be home. Didn’t mean he would be working. He wasn’t going to turn up at work until the bruises and cuts on his face healed. He didn’t need the drama of trying to explain what had happened. He didn’t even want to think about it. He shivered thoughts of his past consuming him. He tried calling Flynn (his shrink), but at the late hour he wasn’t picking up. Out of desperation, he even called his brother (Elliott) who was usually out at a bar around this hour. It went to voice mail.

In frustration, Christian changed into a black shirt and black jeans heading out to the bar his brother usually hung out in. With no phone he knew he wouldn’t be able to ring Taylor if he needed a lift home, he would be cursed to having to deal with a cab. Not his favourite way to travel, but needs must. At least he had a spare wallet and cash at home. If he was completely sober, Christian would have more than likely seen what a bad idea this was. However, with the start of a good buzz starting all he could think of was finding a distraction from everything he was feeling right now. How over whelmed he was, not just by the attack, but the young woman he had met.

The bar was crowded, only a few minutes walk from Escala. One of the reasons Elliott hung out there, if he couldn’t get himself home or couldn’t find a young lady to go home with, he could crash in one of Christian’s spare rooms. Grey scanned the crowd, his brother wasn’t there. Perhaps it was a little early, he would check his watch, but that had been taken as well. He hadn’t thought to fetch another from his drawer of designer products before heading out. Ordering another whisky he settled in at the bar watching the crowd.


	3. Chapter 3

Author’s Note, wow barely up an hour and already a load of follows and reviews. Thanks guys! I treasure everyone of them. I haven’t written fan fiction in a long time, but battling writers block in my other projects, it felt like the right time to start it up again. Any ideas you would like to see in future chapters let me know, and I will see if it fits the plan. Enjoy some crazy drunk Christian. 

Returning a Kindness

Chapter Three

Elliot was out for a night on the town, he didn’t have to work for a few days so he was going to make the most of it. The construction company had been taking up far too much of his time lately. He felt like it had been forever since he had got out of the office or seen his family. Normally he tried to get to a family dinner at least once a week, or for a beer with Christian (his brother). He pulled out his phone to text him and see if Grey wanted to catch up with him. Although knowing his brother, he would still be working late at the office. Elliot was surprised to see several missed calls from Christian on his phone. Even more surprised to see that they were from his home number, not office or the mobile that was glued to his hand normally.

He tried calling back, both on the home phone and on the mobile. No answer. That was strange. Even if he rang at 4am, he could be pretty safe of an answer from Christian. He often drunk dialled to tell him about whatever hot chick he had seen that he thought Grey should come meet. Not that his brother ever came to meet him, not when it was that part of the night. Grey had never been the kind of person to loose control over anything. Not since his adopted parents had found him passed out in the boat house in his teens, empty bottles all around him. He hadn’t been privy to the argument that followed, just knew ever since it was a miracle if the man drank more than two glasses of wine in one sitting. 

If you opened any dictionary and looked up the word control freak you would see a picture of Christian Grey. It might have shocked his parents when the news of Christian’s BDSM back ground had leaked into the papers, somehow he hadn’t been that shocked. There was always something about his brother that seemed a little strange. All that teenage angst for his past, all that violence and over night it disappeared? Nah, even the best shrink in the world couldn’t have done that much good. Elliot had even wondered about the lifestyle a few times, attending the odd club. Although when he had spotted Grey there, he had left pretty quickly to give the man his privacy. 

The only shock to him had been the whole Elena Lincoln scandal, and the court case that followed. Christian’s rape had still been covered by the statute of limitations. Leading the family into a length court case against her, with a group of the other parents. It seemed that Elena had quite the tastes for underage boys, at least 30 that they could trace or had come forward. Leading the legal team to expect at least double in reality. Elliot still blamed himself for never paying attention to how scared Christian had been that first summer he had been forced to work at the woman’s house as punishment from his parents for drinking. He didn’t think his parents had ever stopped blaming themselves for sending him right into the beasts claws either. 

Thankfully she was in prison now, never likely to see the light of day again. Christian hadn’t seemed to find any comfort in that fact. He had stood up in court, given his testimony. Insisted that she had just tried to help him, that she didn’t really mean any harm by her actions. There had been a lot of talk of Stockholm syndrome, and repressed memories before the court had decided he was no longer required as a witness. It hadn’t stopped Christian following the case in the news, or stopped him turning her salons over to the court to pay for her legal fees. The weekly sessions with Flynn had turned into daily ones. The playroom that Christian had reluctantly shown Elliot afterwards had been locked, the key gathering dust in his brother’s home office. Elliot checked every time he came over to make sure it hadn’t been used. As far as he knew, Christian hadn’t taken another sub, or even had sex since that day be had first locked the room away. He had become withdrawn more and more these last few months since the case had ended. Leaving his family constantly worried about him. If he didn’t know better he would have said his brother was suicidal, yet he knew that Grey could never do such a thing. He had worked too hard to be someone, to never be hungry or in pain again like he had been as a child, to just throw it all away. Or at least he hoped that was true. 

He knew that his brother must be doing something to cope with the darkening feelings, he just hoped it wasn’t something stupid like self harming. He wasn’t quite sure how he would deal with finding his brother covered in his own blood. He had already been through that crap with Mia a few years ago after her boyfriend dumped her. His strong, independent sister turning into an exhausted, hysterical wreck in only a few days. He shivered, no Christian was stronger than that!

No he really wasn’t….

As Elliot walked into his usual bar to top up the buzz he had gained over dinner with some girl he had met at work, he found where his brother was. Sat on a bar stool, looking close to passing out and even worse, on his own. Elliot stuck his head outside the bar, no sign of Taylor. What on earth was his brother doing here without any security around him? Or a lift back to Escala? He grabbed his phone and dialled Taylor. “I need you to get down to the bar, right now. CG needs to get home to bed right now.”

A pause on the end of the phone, “Mr Grey went to bed hours ago.” He commented.

“Mr Grey is about to start a fight in our bar. Get down here.” Elliot snapped, so Grey had even shaken off his security to be here. That wasn’t good, he never went anywhere without protection. Curse of being a CEO, and a public figure. He made his way over towards his brother, who was currently shouting at a man who had accidentally knocked into him at the bar. Looking like he was about to tear the man a new one. Elliot laid a hand carefully on his brother’s shoulder, trying to keep outside the no touch border. “Chris, let it go man.” He said quietly.

Christian tensed at the touch, before he worked out who it was. “No, this ass deserves what is coming to him.”

“Whatever man, I said sorry. Jesus.” The man shuffled off while he had a chance.

Elliot took in his brother’s state, as well as the purpling bruises. “What the hell happened to you?” he asked.

“Nothing, I am fine.” Christian insisted, ordering another drink. 

Elliot took a seat next to him. “You look like you have been in the middle of Fight Club half of today, you are drunk off your ass and nearly punched a guy for nothing. I don’t call that fine.”

Christian downed the drink in one gulp before standing to leave, “You are not my brother, so don’t try to act like one.”

If Christian hadn’t been so drunk, that comment would have crushed both of them. Adopted or not, the Grey’s had always been a close family until the court case hit. “Let me take you home.” he commented quietly.

“Who ever said I want to go home.” Christian snapped, “Aren’t you always telling me to loosen up? To party more?”

Elliot sighed, “I didn’t mean like this. Not when you are angry.”

Christian laughed, “You really don’t know me at all. I am always angry, I just mask it so fools can’t see the real me.”

“Chris, please.” He asked quietly, following his brother onto the street. 

The cold air hit his brother hard, he looked woozy. “Shit.” Christian muttered to himself, starting to think that maybe he should have asked Taylor to come get him. Just as the car pulled up next to him, with Taylor looking concerned.

“Let’s get you home.” Elliot insisted again, gingerly putting his arm around his brother’s waist to help him into the car.

This time Grey didn’t argue.


	4. Chapter 4

Returning a Kindness

Chapter Four

Christian hurt, probably more so than he had his entire life. Even the sunlight coming through the window hurt his head. He wasn’t sure which pained him more, the bruises from yesterday’s attack or the pounding in his head coupled with the fact if he moved more than a fraction of an inch the world started spinning again. He hadn’t thrown up, that was a start. Not like when he was younger, the few times he had experimented with drink and drugs trying to find a release from his pain. Before he had discovered Elena.

Yeah, that line of thought wasn’t going to do any good. It would only send him straight back for another stiff drink and the hope that next time he wouldn’t wake up. Slowly, carefully he rolled onto his back seeing if this time everything stayed in place. That was a little better certainly, although his head felt worse. Someone shoved a glass of water and some aspirin into his hands. Probably Taylor, he would have some explaining to do later about why he snuck out. Obedient for once in his life Grey took the pills, swilling them down with the water. He hadn’t realised how thirsty he was until the glass had been drained and he heard someone refill it.

Sipping more slowly this time, Christian dragged himself into a sitting position taking note he was still in last night’s clothes but at least in his own bad. “Good morning.” He said quietly seeing his brother standing by the side of the bed, unshaven, red eyed and pretty much looking as bad as he felt.

“Good afternoon.” Elliot replied coldly.

Shit, he was in trouble. Big trouble, suddenly he felt like he was 15 again and his parents were about to roast him for getting drunk. “Can I help you?” he asked trying to put his masks back in place now he knew he wasn’t alone. Bring back that cold business persona which frightened off almost every single person he met.

Elliot glared at him, “What the hell was last night all about? Taylor told me you were mugged.”

Grey sighed, silently cursing his staff for getting his family involved where they were neither wanted or welcome. “There was an incident yesterday yes, but no harm done.”

Elliot looked like he wanted to break something. “No harm done? No harm done?” he repeated pacing to the window staring out at the sky line before continuing. “I find you almost passed out in a bar, for the first time in over ten years and you tell me no harm done! What the hell is going on with you Grey?”

Christian stood, finding a robe to wrap himself in just as a moment’s distraction. “My personal life is just that, personal. Nothing you need to get involved in.”

Elliot laughed dryly, “Yeah because you hiding things ended up so well last time when you found yourself at the hands of a paedophile.”

“That is enough!” Christian snapped, “I am grateful to you for helping out in my slight oversight last night. Clearly the pain meds should never have been mixed with anything stronger than black coffee. However, it doesn’t give you the right to come in here all guns blazing demanding to know about my life or my problems. I can solve them alone!”

Elliot stared at him for long moments before speaking, “You disgust me. You say you have never been loved, and then those who do actually love you try to be there for you and you just throw us away like a used condom. Phone me when you want to get your head out of your backside, I might be free.” Before leaving, slamming the bedroom door behind him as well as the front door no doubt.

Christian took a deep breath, he didn’t like to send his brother way like this. He almost went after him to apologise, but that was something that just wasn’t in his nature. Ever since he had closed off the red room, the anger seem to be growing a little more every day until he just couldn’t keep a lid on it anymore. At least three times in the last month he had ended up screaming at one of his assistants at work until they ended up in tears or quitting. Once he had even destroyed an entire meeting room after everyone had left for the day. That had taken some quick repairmen before the office reopened in the morning to cover up. 

He took a long hot shower trying to drown out the rest of his dark thoughts. It didn’t work, he was out of it, dressed and drying his hair within a few minutes. Gail was no where to be seen when he got to the kitchen to prepare himself a smoothie, nor was Taylor. A good thing, he seriously wasn’t in the mood for that conversation yet. On the counter lay his replacement credit cards and phone. He could see he had a million missed calls and emails already. They could wait until later, or maybe never. Which ever came first. Work was important to Christian, but even he had his limits on coping methods.

The gym was the only thing that could calm him right now, with bruising dotting his flesh he didn’t care go out. Luckily he had turned over one of the rooms in the attic to a gym some time before. A faint attempt at distraction from the lack of a red room. Although as he walked passed the door to it, he couldn’t help touching the door frame. Thinking about all the times he had spent in there. When life had been simpler. Before the world had discovered exactly how many shades of fucked up he actually was. Not that he cared much for ‘the world’, what he cared for was seeing the disappointment and the pain in his parent’s eyes. After the court case had started, he had barely seen either of them twice. It didn’t feel like his life or family anymore, like he was just a monster pretending to be a man. 

He downed the smoothie, starting on his workout. Normally he would do an hour a day, and then an hour run morning and night. Somehow he didn’t feel so much like running right now. At some point he found himself a rhythm in the exercise, working on his upper body strength. Rotating between bench pressing, and working on the high beam he had. Sweat was pouring from him, but finally he didn’t need to think. Just focus on the action, and repeating it over again. Simple. Thoughtless. For the first time in a long time, he started to feel free. Gymnastics had been a passion of his in high school, he was good enough to make it big. Yet Elena had stopped it, if he had started competing it would have been harder for her to see him and to control him. 

Christian tried to shake the memory away that was tugging at him, collapsing against the wall towelling himself off. He was tired, probably not helped by the fact he hadn’t eaten since the previous morning. He released that Flynn was stood there watching him, making notes. “How long have you been there?” he asked.

Flynn eyed him over the note book, “Long enough. Your brother called me, thought you required an emergency session.”

Christian sighed, “Yeah he would do, I’m fine. Sorry to drag you all the way out here for nothing.”

“He was concerned that the mugging had stirred up memories from your past. You have been exhibiting signs of PTSS these last few months.” Flynn commented, “Your family is concerned about how you keep shutting yourself away from the world. Focusing on nothing other than your work.”

“I am fine.” Christian insisted again through gritted teeth.

Flynn made more notes silently.

“Why will no one believe that I am fine!” Christian exploded, “I don’t need anyone’s help! I never have, I never damn well will! I AM FINE!”

Flynn kept making notes. “Maybe because even you do not believe that.”

“I’m just tired.” Christian said more quietly.

“Explain.” Flynn pushed gently.

“Of being asked how I am, what is going on with me. Of course I am not fine, of course it hurts. I’m going about crazy in my own head half the time, and can’t explain to myself what the emotions are I am experiencing yet alone explain them to another person. I just want to be left alone.” He admitted.

“Do you really think alone is helping you?” Flynn asked, “When it sets you into fits of depressive drinking like last night.”

“Last night was a mistake, a moment’s weakness.” Grey sighed, “It will not happen again.”

“Mr Grey, there is a young woman down stairs asking to speak to Christian. She doesn’t know his last name or which apartment he lives in.” Taylor said crisply from the door.

Oh yeah, he was angry about last night. “A girl?” he asked dumbly.

“A Miss Steele, the same girl you lasted me to look into yesterday. Her file is here.” Taylor placed it on the bench next to him never making eye contact, “Do I see her up?”  
Seven already, he could hardly believe it. “Send her up, give her a glass of wine and if anyone tells her who I am they are fired. I will be ready in a few minutes.” He snapped.

Taylor left without a word, Flynn soon after him. “We will speak more about this tomorrow.”

“I look forward to it.” Grey replied, rolling his eyes before rushing to get showered ready to meet the girl who had saved him.


	5. Chapter 5

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter Five

 

It had been a long day for Ana, studying up on all the ways she could take Grey Enterprises to court for the disgusting treatment she had received. She had spoken to a lawyer, not a good one because she had very limited funds, but it was the best she could do. Grey Enterprises would be contacted that evening about a law suit for sexual discrimination being issued. She probably wouldn’t win, after all this was one of the largest firms in Seattle. Headed by a man that the press was calling mentally unstable. She didn’t know much about the company, or the scandal that hit a few months ago. Just a few words she heard on headline news as she got dressed in the mornings. She had been too busy with her exams, then the move and trying to find a job to waste her time on idle gossip. She couldn’t understand why the company name was being dragged through the mud over something that happened to the CEO years ago. Yet the press was having a field day, for getting that Mr Grey was a real person not just the scandal they wanted to turn him into. That was one reason why Ana hated the press, they twisted anything to make it worse than it was. Concentrating on the personal lives of public figures, instead of the cold facts. She couldn’t help but wonder if half the suicides of young famous people could have been avoided if the press just learned to mind their own darn business now and then!

The legal case had taken half of the morning, she had barely found time to grab a coffee and a sandwich after before having to head to the police station to meet Jose and make her statement about the attack. She was slightly surprised to not see Christian there making his, not to mention a little sad. She wanted to see for herself that he was feeling better. She cursed not getting his phone number last night, instead of just giving him hers. After all, if this dinner was going to happen tonight it would be tricky. After all, she didn’t know his last name, or what floor/apartment was his. Was she just expected to turn up at the door and ask for him by his first name? Would anyone have a clue who she meant? Even Jose couldn’t help her with the matter, he claimed data protection wouldn’t allow him to disclose anything about the victim even to her. Although somehow she felt he was trying to protect her by hiding the information.

Followed by an afternoon at the library applying for more office positions, as her computer had been smashed in the move. Annoyingly, she had made a claim against the company, but surprise surprise! Grey removals, a sub division of Grey Construction wasn’t paying up. That should have been her cue to not go for the job interview at Grey Publishing, yet her desperation to be in the publishing trade coupled with a desire to actually eat had sent her to the interview. Perhaps that was a good thing, at least she had met that cute young man last night. Well, if he was single, straight and actually interested in her. Which given the week she was having, was completely unrealistic. He was just paying back a debt he really didn’t owe her. 

Losing track of the time, Ana barely had time to run home, shower and change into one of her more business like outfits for the ‘date’. Unsure exactly how it was going to pan out had left her wishing she had enough money to go on a shopping spree. As it was, she managed to pull up outside the impressive building at five minutes to seven. Dressed in a smart black suit style dress, covered in black lace which softened the look. Showing a small amount of cleavage under the dress, disguised by the lace to stop it looking too date like. A hem that was mostly modest, with black stockings and comfortable smart black heels. Her hair clipped up tightly away from her face, little make up and the only beautiful jewellery set she owned. Diamond droplet earrings, with a single drop pendant making the outfit perfect. They had been a gift from her father before he had died, the last gift he had ever given her. 

Parked outside the building, she sat in the car a few moments wondering what to do for the best. Wait here, and hope the guy came out to her? Or look like a damn fool going and asking which apartment was Christian’s? Or perhaps just drive home and forget about the stranger with the vivid blue eyes she couldn’t stop thinking about. Thankfully the situation was resolved as a smart man in a black suit came to knock on her window. “May I help you?”

She suddenly realised just how suspicious she looked parked here, watching one of the most important buildings in town. “Erm, I’m meant to be meeting someone here. Christian at 7pm.”

The man looked at her slightly puzzled, “Christian?” No one ever referred to Mr Grey so informally, certainly not one of his sub’s. Although it had been a very long time since a sub had come to the apartment, over a year to Taylor’s knowledge and there was very little he didn’t know about his employer. Even so this woman was a surprise to him, before he remembered the search he had been asked to perform earlier. “Miss Steele is it?” he asked.

She nodded nervously, “Is that okay? I can just go.”

“Come and wait in the lobby Miss Steele, I will go find ‘Christian’ and ask for you.” He answered, escorting her firmly in side.

Ana shuffled uneasily from foot to foot, standing in a foyer that was far more detailed than anything she had ever seen before. Feeling well out of her depth she was glad when the man returned to lead her to an elevator leading them to the top floor. As she stepped out, Ana couldn’t help but be stuck by the lavish apartment, piano, furniture that she couldn’t afford if she was paid her life times salary in one go. “Jesus just who is this guy?” she said quietly.

“Oh, this isn’t his apartment Miss. He is just looking after it a few weeks while a friend is travelling. He needed a place to work from, and this was perfect. Would you like a glass of wine?” Taylor covered quickly. 

Ana nodded, suddenly a drink seemed a very good idea. Although she would have to be careful if she was going to drive herself home. “White please.” She asked.

Taylor brought her the glass, “May I take your keys? I will park your car downstairs in the secure lock up.”

“Oh thank you.” She said surprised, but handed over the keys willingly enough.

“’Christian’ will only be a few moments longer.” Taylor promised leaving to take care of the car issue before Mr Grey found out what a broken down old thing she was driving. That was a conversation he could do with avoiding tonight.

Ana sipped her drink, taking in the skyline. She had never been this high before, the view was stunning. All those little lights of the city, she felt like she was in a castle. She could see why he had borrowed the apartment from his friend, in some ways she felt a little jealous that she didn’t have friends who helped her out. Since leaving her family, that was it. She had been alone, other than the odd coffee with Jose who she had grown up with. Although she knew that he and his boyfriend would always be happy to see her if she came over, she hated the thought of intruding.

“You look stunning tonight Miss Steele.” A voice came from behind her, “I hope the wine and the view are to your tastes.”


	6. Chapter 6

Returning a Kindness

Chapter Six

Christian was panicking, he had completely lost track of time, or was it that he just forgot that beautiful young lady was meeting him for dinner? Perhaps he hadn’t even dared to believe that she would show up, otherwise he would have made sure she knew all the codes and everything to get up here. As it stood, she had no idea that he was Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises and complete and total fuck up. That was a position he would like to keep her in as long as possible. It had been far too long since someone had treated him like a person, not just a CEO or their boss or someone to use for what they needed. 

After the fastest shower in his life, Christian stood studying his wardrobe. His usual suits would have to go, he turned up in a several thousand dollar suit and he wouldn’t be able to pretend he wasn’t Mr Grey. He wasn’t sure he even owned anything else, other than the jeans he used to wear in the Red Room or the sweats he worked out in. He really should have thought this through and sent Taylor to fetch him some clothes earlier. Searching through the back of his wardrobe he found some ripped jeans that Mia had bought him for Christmas a few years ago, still with the tags on. They weren’t usually his thing, but coupled with one of his black work shirts it could work. Thankfully they fitted, not too much of a surprise there. Mia was as talented at shopping as he himself was with businesses. 

Smoothing his still damp hair back, he thought about shaving. Probably for the first time in weeks, deciding he didn’t have time he left it. He didn’t want to risk revealing himself if Ana had seen any pictures of him smartly dressed and clean shaven in the papers. Ruffling his hair down over his face a little more, trying to hide the cut and bruises. He didn’t really look that much like a CEO, which tonight could only be a good thing. He could hear voices from downstairs knowing Taylor would be settling her in with some wine he knew he had a few more minutes to waste. He didn’t want to look over keen to see her, even though he had never been so eager to rush down stairs in his life.

Picking up the file that Taylor had left him, he started to browse Ana Steele’s life. Anything that could give him clues on how to play tonight. 

Anastasia Steele

Age: 22

Marital Status: Single

Savings: $3000

Next of Kin: None listed

Education: Degree in English Lit

Work History: Two years working as an office assistant at Portland Publishing House. One year retail assistant working at Portland Hard wear. One year working at Finance without the Frills as an office assistant. One year working as a temp with various office agencies.

So, Ana had worked her way through college. Impressive, although it listed a Settle address for her now, it appeared that she had no current work address. That would explain the pile of papers and muddy resumes he had seen her with. Perhaps he could nudge a few opportunities her way? Anonymously of course! Grey threw the papers down, he could study the rest later. For now, he better go and great his guest before she decided to run off without him.

As soon as Grey got to the bottom of the stairs he was stuck by the beauty of the young woman standing staring out into the distance. Dressed in an outfit this was on the borderline of work wardrobe, but just sexy enough still to show off all of her curves to their best advantage. Those stockings made him think briefly of taking them off of her, taking her across his piano. He shook his head, ‘down boy!’ he told his favourite body part who was starting to protest their long absence from activity of any kind. 

“You look stunning tonight Miss Steele.” He said softly “I hope the wine and the view are to your tastes.”

She jumped slightly, surprised by him. Before smiling, “Very nice Christian, your friend has good tastes.”

Christian looked a little bemused as he poured himself a glass of the wine. “Friend?” he asked.

Ana eyed him, “The friend who loaned you the apartment while he is on business.”

Bless Taylor for covering for him, even with this weak cover story. He really should have asked for her to be kept in the lobby to avoid this, but that just felt rude. Not that he would care about rude any other time. “Oh yes, that friend.” Grey replied, “For a moment your beauty distracted me, I apologise.” Sending a fast text to Taylor to look at setting up a more modest apartment somewhere near his work, so he could bring Ana home without arising any more suspicions. 

Wait, he was already thinking about seeing Ana again?

Oh, she was staring at him. “Such flattery.” She smiled.

“Well, it isn’t often a man gets rescued by such a charming young lady.” He said with a grin, “Yes, my friend is away for the weekend. So I can only enjoy the view a couple more days. Which is a shame, but at least I got to see how the other half live.” She seemed mollified enough for now, although he would have to watch his step if he was to keep up the pretence he was a normal man.

She drank deeply from her glass, “He certainly has fine tastes in wine.”

“Perhaps the wine was my idea?” Christian teased.

“Perhaps you could tell me why I am here?” she retorted.

“Perhaps I do not like to owe a debt to anyone, even as beautiful as you are.”

“You owed me nothing, I did what was right.”

“So, you would have saved me even if I was fat and ugly?” 

She smiled, “Yes I would, I was just lucky you are so charming.”

She thinks I am charming? She likes me! Christian couldn’t help but think before holding a hand out to her once she had finished the wine. “Should we make a move?” he asked.

“I am pretty hungry.” She admitted.

“Well, we could always stay in and order food?” he offered, “Abuse this place a little longer.” More chance of getting you naked and into bed if we stay here he thought.

Ana blushed, maybe she could hear his thoughts. “No, going out is fine.”

“Your wish is my command.” He led her back downstairs, finding Taylor had picked out one of the cars usually used by his security as part of the cover story. He really deserved a raise after this. He helped Ana into the car, before crossing to let himself in as well. “Tell me somewhere you would go, not my usual flashy restaurant.” He hissed.

Taylor smiled, wondering why his employer was taking such cares not to be discovered right now. He offered him a card for a little Italian that Gail loved, the odd night they actually got to spend together.

Christian nodded, “Don’t let anyone tip her off to who I am.”

“Our discursion as always sir, the other matter will be dealt with in a matter of days.” Taylor assured. Watching as his employer drove off. Could Christian Grey, the master of having no heart actually be falling for a girl?


	7. Chapter 7

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter Seven

They rode in silence the few short minutes to the restaurant, of course being who he was got Grey the best table in the place and left him sending glares at the wait staff. Having to excuse himself to ‘go to the bathroom’ to pay them off to call him another other than Mr Grey. Ana thankfully seemed to be too intent on studying the menu to see what was going on. He ordered a bottle of nice wine, before settling down with her. “Is the menu suitable?” he asked, “We could go somewhere else.”

Ana laughed, “Christian, that would have been a question to ask me before you ordered the wine.”

“Oh.” He answered quietly, “Well we could leave the wine.”

She gripped his hand across the table, “It’s a lovely place Christian, and I love pasta. Don’t fret. Thank you for bringing me, it is very kind.”

He smiled back, trying to calm his nerves with a deep drink of the wine. He felt like a teenager on his very first date. Kind of apt in a way as he had never been on a date, Elena had made sure of that. That and his disgust of being touched. He studied the menu, ordering the seafood linguine as she did the mushroom pasta. “So, where were you coming from yesterday? A job interview?” he asked.

She nodded, “You saw my resumes then. Yes, I had an interview at Grey Publishing. It didn’t go well.” She seemed tense, suddenly much more eager to drink wine and look out the window than face him.

Christian’s heart froze, was she playing him and knew exactly who he was? “What happened?”

She sighed, “A pig of a man called Hyde decided to tell me that I couldn’t have a job because I am a woman. A job that was advertised as equal opportunities. A job that I am trained for, have done before and would be perfect as. Yet, he had it in his head stupidly that Anastasia is a man’s name and refused me outright as soon as I arrived because of it.”

He couldn’t hide his shock at her words, “But that is against the law, it’s a section 9 or is it 7? Breach of sexual discrimination at work, he shouldn’t have made any comment on your gender. Yet alone refuse you for it! What an idiot!” 

She sighed, “Yeah, he is and it is. I’m sure the CEO of the company won’t be happy to find the law suit landing on his desk tomorrow.”

“You are suing them?” he asked gently.

She shrugged, “Hell yes I am, that guy tried to ‘accidentally’ touch my breast as he took my coat, and gave me bedroom eyes the whole five minutes I was stood there talking with him. I do not fuck my boss to get a job!”

Christian felt his anger rising that another man had touched her, treated her so badly and one at his company. Come the morning he would find that lawsuit and kick that man out on his ear. Before finding a way to pay Ana out, and offer her a job. She clearly needed money, looking at the worn state of her shoes and the lack of a bank balance. No man in his employ, or woman for that matter, would treat an employee or even a prospective one with such distasteful manors. “If the CEO has any sense, he will make you an offer before this leaks to the press and get rid of that Hyde before he does it to another woman. A sexual harassment suit like that could ruin his company.” He commented.

“Oh please, like Grey enterprises does anything honest in their life!” she muttered, finishing her glass of wine.

Only her third and she was opening up so much, Christian refilled her glass and ordered a second bottle just as their food arrived. Watching her push it around her plate more than eat it. “Why do you hate Grey Enterprises?” he asked, trying to keep the stern edge from his voice. 

“When I moved up here, I used their removal people. They smashed my brand new laptop into a thousand pieces, and then told me it was my fault for not packing it well enough. When it was their removal people who packed everything, and transported it. I wasn’t even there when it happened!” she snapped, taking a mouthful of the food. It was better than she thought, helped to take the bitter taste from her mouth from the bad memories. 

What the hell is my company playing at?! He thought to himself, clearly he hadn’t been paying enough attention to what was going on around him, People thought they could get away with breaking rules, hurting the little person. Hell no! Not on his watch! He had set the company up to help others, not to harm them. “Have you sent in photos and proof of the damage and that you had a pack and transport arrangement?” he asked.

“Of course, but that was months ago and whenever I ring up to speak to them. I always find that they are ‘too busy’ to talk to me. I curse anything with the name Grey on now.” She answered, tucking into her food more eagerly.

Christian took a few mouthfuls of his own food, it was divine. Taylor certainly had good tastes. Normally he only ate what Gail prepared, which was very good but nothing to this standard. Or he ate at The Mile High club, that his company owned which did a fair steak, but pretty much nothing else he enjoyed. “You never know, maybe next week will be your lucky day.” He commented.

She reached out to touch his hand again, “I feel pretty lucky right now.”

He took her hand, kissing it. “As do I.”

Tensing Ana pulled her hand away. “What is wrong?” he asked.

“That man before, is he your boyfriend?” she asked.

“Taylor? You think me and Taylor? The man is married.” He said kindly.

“And your friend, the one who loaned you the apartment? Are you dating him?” she pressed.

Christian couldn’t hold back his laughter this time. “My dear sweet lady, I am not gay. Nor am I currently ‘dating’ anyone right now. I am not married, not in a relationship with anything other than work and my phone.”

Her smile lit up the room at his answer. “Thank you.” She said primly.

“Of course, if someone else seated at this table wants to change that relationship status. I may well be interested.” He said finishing his meal.

Ana looked shyly at her plate as she finished her own. “I will remember that sir.”

For a moment the word sent shivers down his spine and not in a good way. Reminding him of his subs, and the dark places he tried to bury a little deeper every single day. He knew she was just joking, but even so the room suddenly felt a lot smaller and less full of joy than it had been five minutes before. They finished off the wine talking about little things that didn’t matter. The weather, places they had visited in the city. The second bottle of wine went down much faster than the first, leading Christian to remember he was meant to be driving. Not Taylor picking them up, he cursed himself for getting so involved in the meal he had forgotten. The dreaded cab it would be then. 

He caught Ana trying to stifle a yawn, “Am I boring you Miss Steele?” he asked.

She shook her head, “Just a long day dealing with the legal case, I’m sorry.”

“No matter, let me get a cab and take you home.” He offered.

“Not to yours?” she seemed surprised.

“Miss Steele, necrophilia is not my thing. I doubt you could stay awake long enough to do anything I would consider the right way to end the evening. So I will be a gentleman, and make sure to see you home safely. 

“Why thank you, my knight in armour.”

“I think Miss Steele, the armour looked far better on you last night.”


	8. Chapter 8

Returning a Kindness

Chapter Eight

Monday morning rolled by Christian Grey was up and ready for work by 6am the next morning, taking his time to shave carefully before changing into one of his sharpest suits. Having spent all of Sunday working out exactly what he was going to do about the Ana situation, with a couple of bottles of good whisky at his side during it. He was going to battle today, battle against his own company to put right what they had been doing behind his back. He was spoiling for a fight, he needed it right now as much as he needed air. That poor young girl, she had almost nothing and what she did have his company had taken from her. That would not be permitted to continue, no matter how many people he had to fire to correct it. 

Gelling his hair so it looked a little better than the ‘just fucked’ appearance it usually had. He went to the kitchen to find some coffee, it was going to be a long day. He would need any fortification he could get, after spending the whole night sat up thinking about that giggling young lady who had kissed him goodnight on the cheek before wishing him good night. 

Gail and Taylor were both in the kitchen, sipping coffee. Looking surprised he was up and around so early. A cup of coffee was swiftly placed in front of him as Gail prepared breakfast. “Your new apartment will be ready to go by the end of the day.” Taylor informed him.

“Good.” Grey nodded, “I need it stocked with clothes worn by an office worker, in my sizes. As well as tasteful items that would go with the persona. Nothing that could possibly lead back to who I really am.”

“Very good Sir, will you be going to work today?” he asked.

“Soon as I am finished here, I have a lot of work to do.” Grey responded already lost in a series of emails from work hitting his blackberry as he turned it on. Meetings, boring, recruitment for a new personal assistant, he rolled his eyes wondering how many hours this one would last. He sent a quick email back to Ros calling for a breakfast meeting to deal with matters. Before looking up the number he had saved carefully in his phone last night so he didn’t lose it. “Good morning, I hope you slept well. I wish you luck today. Christian.”

He was surprised to get an answer almost straight back despite the hour. “Morning. I did thank you. And thank you for the lovely evening.” He felt himself smiling as he ate the breakfast Gail put out on the counter for him. Not noticing the glances between her and Taylor at his actions.  
“Up early Miss Steele?” 

“I have a meeting with my lawyer about the Grey case. See where I stand about progressing. Are you ever going to tell me your last name?” 

“Patience is a virtue Miss Steele.”

“I had enough of patience last night Mr Christian.”

“Laters baby, I have to work.”

“Laters.”

He looked up at Taylor watching him with complete bewilderment on his face, trying to work out what was going on in his employers head. “Problem?” Grey asked.

“No Sir, the car will be ready when you are.” He replied promptly.

 

Grey marched into his office a little before 7.30am, “Coffee.” He snapped at who ever the temp was waiting to answer his phones. She looked like she had just fallen out of bed without even brushing her hair. Yawning at her desk, painting her nails. She would have to go straight away.

Ros was the person to actually bring his coffee, setting it down on his desk. “What can I do for you this morning, sir?”

“Firstly I want reports for any legal action being taken currently against Grey Enterprises. Including sexual harassment, theft, criminal damage and anything else you might be able to dig up. Secondly, I want the personal file of Hyde working at Grey Publishing. I believe he is a manager there, or at least in HR. Thirdly get that dozy bitch out of my office and replaced in the next hour or you are fired.” He snapped.

Ros took a deep breath, “Yes Mr Grey.” She was used to these out bursts. “And your morning meetings?” she asked.

“What do they cover?” he asked. 

She skimmed the list, “Breakfast meeting re the conditions of the feeding the hungry programme.”

“Keep it.”

“Elena Lincoln’s replacement re the parlours.”

“I thought we were done with those when we signed them over for her legal fees?” he asked.

“She is claiming that you sold them at a 10th of their net worth against her will. When she had majority shares.”

“Let legal handle it, I want nothing to do with them.”

Ros nodded, “Your brother has a lunch appointment.”

“Cancel.” He didn’t want to face his brother right now.

“Gala tonight, waiting for your RSVP reply.”

“Cancel, I have plans tonight.” Or at least he planned on making some later one, when he could text Ana.

“Doctor Flynn is scheduled for after lunch.”

Christian sighed, “Keep him.

“That is all for today, Sir.”

He nodded, “Keep the coffee coming.”

He didn’t even watch as she left, he had better things to do. The breakfast meeting went well enough, his charity work was the high light of his working day usually. He loved giving back something for all the children who were not as lucky as he had been. He found himself quite caught up in the meeting, talking about branching out to build a few small schools for the community as well as the food supplies. If he had been looking, he would have noticed Ros watching him with barely concealed interest as they talked. Since when did Mr Grey take interest in anything to do with work anymore? Other than shouting at and firing of people.

The rest of the day went quite smoothly, Mr Grey had lunch ordered in as usual. For once he didn’t argue that this wasn’t what he had ordered. She appeared with the paperwork he wanted just as he was finishing up. “Sir, the files you requested.”

He held out his hand for them.” Highlights?”

“I found half a dozen complaints against Grey Removals for lost or damaged merchandise.”

“Have they paid out the claims?” he asked.

“No, they are contesting each and every one. Even though there is evidence that it is the companies fault.”

“Okay, fire the manager. Replace him, and pay out every claim. Replace the item with one of a higher quality, and refund the retail cost of the item as an apology.”

She nodded curtly, “Isn’t that a little over the top?”

“We can’t afford any more bad press after the court case, better we silence the claimants as soon as possible.”

That made sense at least, more sense than she had expected from her boss. “Secondly Jack Hyde is the head of Grey Publishing. He has had 17 assistants quit in the last five years, claiming sexual harassment which has remained unproven in every case.”

“Have you met Mr Hyde in person?”

“Yes, several times.”

“Your view on him?”

“Not my place to say, Sir.”

“It is when I ask you.” Grey insisted.

“He gives me the creeps. Something about him just feels off. I know the cases were never proven, but my gut says they were all real.”

Grey nodded, “Anyone ever lodge a legal case against him?”

“Two.” Ros answered, “Both settled out of court over a year ago and since then everything had been quite until yesterday. When a young lady claimed he refused her a job, and tried to touch her.”

“Name?” he asked curtly.

“A Miss Anastasia Steele.”

“What is Miss Steele looking for in compensation?”

“She hasn’t stated yet, the case is in very early stages.”

“Get Hyde in here, I want to talk to him about the matter.”

“Yes, Sir.” Somehow Ros thought that he planned anything other than ‘talking’ right now. “And the girl?”

“Find out what she wants in compensation, and don’t let anyone interrupt my meeting with Hyde.” He snapped. As soon as she was gone, Grey pulled out his phone. “Taylor, I need you.”


	9. Chapter 9

Returning a Kindness

Chapter Nine

Taylor worked his magic swiftly, leaving Grey’s office set up for the coming meeting in only a few minutes time. Tiredness was starting to give an even more bitter edge to Christian’s mood. Ana hadn’t responded to his request to go to dinner tonight. He had to fake fine to Flynn again this afternoon and Elliot hadn’t stopped ringing his blackberry since he had dropped the lunch meeting. He was starting to regret the amount he had been drinking lately, by the slight nagging headache that just wouldn’t shift. Or possibly, he was regretting not being drunk right now. He was certainly starting to see what his younger self had seen in giving up some of his control. To not being able to over think and stress over every little thing. 

He sighed sipping the cooling cup of coffee he had been brought, he wasn’t sure how long ago now. He had been too busy paying attention to Taylor as he set up recording devices in the room, ready for Hyde. The guy might play it clever and keep his mouth shut, somehow Christian doubted it. The guy looked like he was unstable and getting more so by the day given the papers Ros and Taylor had dug up. Two girls had already quit in his department this morning. One swearing that she would never work for Grey Enterprises again. That one would need a gag order and a large payment to cover up before it hit the press. Thankfully she had been cornered before she could leave the building and was currently being briefed on what would happen next. 

Hyde was let in to the office. “Whisky?” Grey asked. Pouring two glasses when he received a nod. “So, I understand you have a problem with the female members of your department.”

Hyde sat without being offered, that was already a strike against him. The second was the whisky he could already smell on the man’s breath and clothes before he took the glass. Clearly someone had a liquid lunch today, probably the reason why the girls had quit. “You just can’t get girls to work in an office like they used to, they are lazy. Don’t know what it takes to make it big in a company.” He bragged.

Christian edged him, sipping his drink in order to not choke him already. The arrogant nature of this man, you would think he was CEO! He had a sick feeling in his stomach, he always had a gut reaction about people. Came from years of eying up subs to see if they would give him what he needed. This man was bat shit crazy that was clear. “And you do?” he asked innocently.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have made my way to head of SIP. Sorry Grey Publishing as it is now, if I didn’t know which palms to grease along the way.” 

Yeah, that sick feeling was only growing with every moment the man stayed in his office. Hell, if he felt like this after all he had been thought, Grey hated to think what a young innocent woman like Ana did trapped in a room with him. “You realise that Miss Steele is taking legal action against you for refusing her a job on grounds of gender?” he asked.

Hyde snarled, “That little slut! She walked into my office like she was something special. Thought if she tried it on with the boss, I would give her the promotion. Like most of the sluts who come for interview. She wasn’t anywhere near pretty enough to try a game like that!”

Grey took a deep calming breath, “You hire women on their looks?” Trying to not shatter the glass in his hand as he struggled to control his anger. 

Hyde indicated towards the blondes outside of my office. “Not like you hire any differently Grey. Tell me something, have you tasted all of them? Surely you must have by now. All those sexy bodies, surely you wouldn’t abstain? We all know about your history with women.”

“Well, the press does have a lot to say about my relationships.” Grey said through tense lips. Turning away to look out at the skyline. Thinking about how good Hyde’s throat would feel if he wrapped his hands around it.

“I could lend you one of my girls, I have a few brunettes. More your style isn’t it? Trade you for a blonde. Spice things up a little bit.” He offered.

Grey’s glass shattered, he picked shards of glass from his palm. Hiding it from view of the other man. He could see Taylor out of the corner of his eye, indicating that they had enough evidence now. That should have been the kill signal to stop this game of charades, but Christian didn’t want to stop. He wanted blood. “You are telling me that you really did sexually assault and discriminate against Miss Steele and the other women in your department?” he asked ice cold.

Hyde laughed, “Of course I did. What can they do against someone like us? We can do anything, they let us when we are powerful. Grope them, anything we want to. That’s just life. Frigid bitch that Steele or I would have taken her over my desk.”

“Miss Steele is a warm, polite, friendly, caring person. Not some frigid bitch for you to use for your sexual gratification.” Grey snapped.

He wasn’t entirely sure what happened after that. Next thing he knew, Taylor and two other security guards were bailing him away from Hyde. Deep red marks on the man’s neck from where he had been attacked. Had he really done that? Christian wondered. He felt dazed, dizzy, and weak. Just like he always did after he lost his temper. There was a drink in his hand, someone trying to make him sip it. All he could focus on was Hyde being bailed away form the building. 

“He will go to jail for this sir.” Ros insisted, trying to snap him back to the present. 

It was only then that Christian realised his hands were shaking, almost spilling the whisky he held. He sipped it slowly. Trying to get his head back around where he was, and what was going on. He felt cold to his bones. He hated sexual predators, rapists, people who thought that they could justify why they did what they did. That it was just natural. Like they couldn’t help themselves. Then again, he was barely any better the years he had beaten sub’s half to death. That thought chilled him even further. 

At some point Flynn must have entered the room, because he was kneeling by Christian’s side. Oh yeah, that after lunch meeting he had been trying to avoid. Right, that’s where he should be right now. He should stand, oh he couldn’t. His legs weren’t obeying him he noticed with some disinterest. Flynn was talking, but he wasn’t taking any of it in. 

“He’s in shock.” Someone said in the back ground.

He noticed Taylor was pulling all the office blinds, shutting the door to give them privacy. That was good, it was hardly the done thing for half the office to see their boss have a total melt down. 

“Christian, talk to me. Tell me what is wrong.” Flynn insisted.

He tried to say he was fine, but it didn’t seem to come out right. 

“Delayed reaction to the mugging, he is in shut down.” Flynn told someone, who was it?

“How do we get him out of it?” a woman asked, Ros that was Ros right?

His phone started to vibrate in his pocket, out of habit if nothing else he pulled it out to see who was calling. Ana. Was she okay? That was enough to stir him from whatever dark place was trying to claim his soul, if he even had one. He certainly didn’t think he did. Shaking his head to clear it he answered the phone, much to the surprise of everyone around him. “Ana, what’s wrong?” he said gruffly, his throat feeling thick and heavy.

“Christian you will never guess what happened?” she gushed excitedly, “It’s the most amazing thing. You were totally right!”

“Slow down baby, talk me through it in stages.” He asked, massaging his temple trying to focus. 

“The removers sent me a brand new laptop, and some compensation for breaking my old one. It’s like so much better than what I had before! I will be able to job search properly again!” she shrieked. 

Oh, so they had fixed the problem already. “That is good, I’m happy for you.” Why was everyone staring at him having a phone conversation? He narrowed his eyes at their worried faces.

“That’s not the only thing either. Something even more amazing has happened!” she said.

“Oh, what baby?” 

“Grey Publishing called me back, they want to talk to me about the case. Talking about giving me the job after all and compensation for the harassment Hyde gave me. Promised me that he wouldn’t be able to bother me anymore.”

“Oh, very good. I am happy for you.” He had to give Ros her due, she did good work and fast. 

“I feel so bad for what I said about the Grey Empire when we were at dinner, they really aren’t so bad after all.”

Christian smiled at that, good maybe she wouldn’t hate him completely if she found out who he really was. “See? Good things happen to those who wait. Now I have to go, are you free for dinner?”

A pause on the end of the line. “I already promised to see Jose tonight, I’m sorry.”

JOSE!!! He felt his blood pressure rising again. “You have a date?”

She laughed, “No more so than your Taylor friend. Jose is gay. I’m going for dinner with him and his boyfriend.”

Oh, he was safe then. “Okay, call me when you are free to see me.”

“Promise.” Hanging up.

Christian hadn’t even noticed he had stood up during the phone call and started pacing the room. He did however notice that three people were staring at him very intently right now. “Do you not have jobs to do?” he snapped. Ros and Taylor left quickly, leaving him alone with Flynn.” Can we do this later?” he asked, “I will still pay you for the session.”

“Do you really think I am leaving after seeing you freeze up in some PDSS melt down or delayed shock from your attack?” Flynn asked calmly.

Christian sighed, “I really don’t want to talk right now.”

“Which is exactly why you need to talk.” He stubbornly set himself down at Grey’s desk, waiting for the other to join me. 

“Then ask your questions and leave me alone. I am busy.” Grey said tiredly, taking his own seat. Trying to not feel disappointed that Ana didn’t want to see him tonight. 

“Who is Ana?”

“She was the one who saved me from the attack.”

Flynn’s eyes widened at that. “Taylor tells me that you took her to dinner?”

“I did a thank you.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No! She isn’t like that!” he snapped.

“So, you don’t want to make her a submissive?”

“I never want a submissive again.” Grey answered quietly, “Having submissive cost me my family and nearly my business.”

“Are you so sure you have lost your family?”

Grey looked away, “I saw their faces when the news hit, they could never think of me as a son again.”

“Christian, it was a shock to them. They needed to get used to the idea, and what you had suffered. Give them time and try again.” Flynn insisted.

“I suffered nothing, I deserved it. All of it.” Grey muttered, he was edgy now, standing by the window, wanting to start pacing again. But he knew how Flynn took that every time he did. 

Flynn changed tactics, “What happened with you and Hyde? Why did you attack him?”

“He said nasty things about Ana.”

“Was that worth attacking him? A few crude comments about a girl you met only a few days ago.”

“I don’t remember attacking him.” Grey admitted quietly, “I know if I had the change to do it again, I would and I’d make sure I hurt him more.”

“Is hurting him really the right answer”?

“Just get out.” Grey said firmly, “I’m busy.”

“Christian, you need help. You need to deal with these feelings of anger that resurfaced during the court case before they destroy you.” Flynn answered, “You need to keep making our sessions. You need to open up about all of this. Not bottle it up until you start putting yourself at risk. Like today, like your constant drinking, like going for a run through a part of town at a time of night that is dangerous.”

“I don’t need anyone.”

“Not even Ana?”

“Don’t even speak her name.” Christian warned.

“Same time tomorrow then.” Flynn left him alone with his thoughts.

Suddenly Grey didn’t feel like working anymore, he buzzed Ros. “Cancel any other meetings today, I am not to be disturbed.” Before locking his office door, he needed some space. People to stop pressuring him every five minutes how did he feel. In Escala there were too many people, at work it was even worse. He couldn’t think anymore, he just wanted to dig into his paperwork and not be interrupted every five minutes. Was that so much to ask?


	10. Chapter 10

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter Ten

Christian sat in his home office trying to focus on his computer screen over some merger they were meant to be sorting out. Ros had insisted to him it was important he looked over the papers tonight, ready for the upcoming meeting. That had been enough to still his drinking at only two glasses of wine over the steak dinner Gail had cooked him. One he had actually eaten for once, and enjoyed. More than likely helped by Ana sending him photos of her night out every so often, pictures of bars or the band they were listening too. She was a little tipsy that was clear, if she crossed the line into drunk he would go after her with Taylor in tow. Although she seemed perfectly capable of taking care of herself, more so then he himself was. 

His phone vibrated again, this time a short clip of some band with ‘wish you were here’ attached. He found himself smiling, the girl certainly knew how to party. ‘How much have you drank? Do you need a lift?’ he messaged. ‘Cute, only three drinks so I am fine to get a cab. Thank you for asking. Would you like dinner tomorrow night?’ Christian’s smile grew as he texts back the reply, ‘Love to, shall I pick you up this time?’ ‘See you at 7.’

Christian laid the phone back by his computer, feeling freer than he had all day. The incident with Hyde had shaken him. More than he even admitted to Flynn. He had lost it completely, he could have killed the man. That wasn’t the issue troubling him, the mini melt down after was. He had carefully spent his life cutting away his emotions, learning to lock them down. Keeping only the business man mask or the dominant mask at the forefront of his personality. To show such weakness to those around him as he had yesterday was disturbing to him. Not something he wished to repeat in the future. Although, it seemed to be happening more and more lately. After all, he hadn’t expected Elliot to find him in the state that he had the other night either. He would have to be more careful in the future. Make sure if he did do something foolish, that no one he knew would actually find him. Save face in front of the others. If it got back to his parents how he was acting they would only blame themselves. 

The darker part of Christian’s mind whispered to him ‘Good, they should. They abandioned you. They couldn’t deal with the real you.’ He tried to silence it, for all that his parents hated him now, and they had done well with him in the past. Without them he could have spent years in the fostering service, finding a worse ‘parent’ than the pimp and drug addict he had already barely survived. Trying to silence the urge inside him to go drink himself into an early grave, he shook off his thoughts trying to focus on the paperwork.

 

Christian was woken by his phone vibrating across his desk. He looked up blearily, he had fallen asleep over his desk. Reaching out for his phone, he checked the missed call logs. Seven calls from the office, and a text from Ros. ‘Business meeting has changed, they just turned up at the office demanding to see you. We need you here!’ This early?! What the hell, they thought they could turn up and just demand the CEO of the company was free to see them? Not a chance!

Angrily, Christian showered and dressed. Slamming into the car with Taylor, without even grabbing a coffee or food. He would not be disrespected in his own work place, not by anyone. Certainly not a company which was going under and needed his help to survive! Soon as the car pulled up at his work, he slammed out of the car. Pounding the elevator button a few times, frustrated when it didn’t instant turn up. Didn’t it know who he was??? He took to the stairs, taking them two at a time in his anger. 

By the time he got to his office, he wasn’t even winded, but he was about ready to kill whoever was in that meeting room. “Who the hell dares come in this early without a meeting booked, Ros?” he demanded. 

Ros looked pale, for all she had no issue with standing up to her boss sometimes even she thought it was foolish to try. “The Japanese deal, they feel that your offer isn’t suitable. They have been made a higher offer, and want to see if you will match or improve.”

“We signed off on that deal over a week ago. It is legally binding, they can’t just pull out because they feel like it!” he snapped.

“Well, their legal team seem to think otherwise.” She commented quietly.

“Get legal up here and a copy of the paperwork now.” Christian snapped, “And Andrea get me my god damned coffee!” Storming into his office and slamming the door. 

Leaving behind a very bewildered assistant looking up at Ros. “Does he mean me?” she asked quietly.

Ros sighed, three months and he couldn’t even remember he had fired his best assistant for being a minute late to work. Leading them into a situation where she was trying to replace the temp assistants every few days when he fired them, or they walked out in tears. “A black coffee no sugar for Mr Grey, Alex please. Don’t mind his manors, he has good days and bad.” She replied.

“Would you like anything?” Alex asked quietly.

“Vodka and a bottle of headache tablets would be nice.” Ros said with a weak smile.

Alex laughed, “I’m sure it isn’t that bad.”

“Not yet.” Ros said with a sigh, starting the phone calls to fetch what Grey needed.

 

Christian was pacing angrily shouting at legal on the phone when he heard a soft tap on his door. “Come in.” he bellowed to see a young girl come in with his coffee, and disappear just as quickly. That wasn’t Andrea was it? Maybe she was on holiday, he didn’t think too much about it. Going back to shouting at the man on the other end of the phone. 

Disconnecting the call, Grey took a sip of his coffee. Survivable, but not to his tastes. He really did need to upgrade the coffee machine around here at some point. He noticed absently she had also bought him a blueberry muffin. Normally he would have shouted at her for assuming he needed food when he hadn’t asked, yet today he would let it slip. He did need to eat, but that could happen after this meeting. 

Swigging down as much of the bland coffee as he could, Mr Grey headed to the meeting room. “What the hell do you think you are playing at?” he demanded, “We signed and agreed this deal.”

The man tried to defend himself, but Christian wasn’t going to let that happen. Not in his offices. He took the file of papers from the legal person who had slid in quietly next to him. “Terms of your contract, perhaps you should have paid more attention to them when you signed. Should you break our agreement, I have the right to ask for 20 million in lost earning for the fist five years of projected profits.” He threw the file at the man.

“We don’t have that kind of money.” The man stuttered, trying to translate across the comments to the Japanese board members.

“Your choice, either honour the agreement or pay up.” Grey snapped, “Don’t try and play me for a fool. I know my contracts well enough to build in security clauses if morons try to screw me over. Good day.” 

He turned on his heel leaving legal and Ros to deal with it heading back to his office for that muffin. “Get me a real cup of coffee, from good coffee shop.” He warned the assistant as he walked passed/

Slamming open his emails, while eating pinches of the muffin so he could still type. Christian noticed a text message from Ana. ‘Can I take you somewhere tonight?’ she asked. He looked at the phone for a few long moments, no one had ever asked to take him anywhere before. Well, other than benefits and other things that went with his life style. It threw him a little, but he decided to go with it. After all, he wasn’t entirely sure what ‘normal’ people did for ‘fun’ anyway. Fun wasn’t really his style. ‘Of course Ana, is there a dress code for this unexplained event?’

Barely a few seconds went by before she answered, ‘Dress warm and casual with comfortable shoes. See you at 7pm’. That comment confused him even more, he had to wonder what ‘normal’ people wore as casual clothes. He fired off a quick message to Taylor to make sure the apartment was ready for tonight, as well as a new wardrobe of clothes. This would be an interesting night.


	11. Chapter 11

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 11

Christian looked around the apartment that Taylor had picked out, within walking distance of Ana’s own apartment. It was tiny, hell he hadn’t been in anything this small since he dropped out of college. A small living room/kitchen, a bedroom, and a tiny bathroom which was barely large enough to house a shower and bath tub. The furniture was shabby, didn’t match or covered in throw blankets. Generic pictures on the wall, along with ornaments, a television with a handful of DVDs piled by the side of it. A wardrobe full of jumpers, jeans and tee shirts, very little in the way of smart clothing. The place looked like it needed a really good dust, there was even what was clearly clean and just bundled up laundry in the hamper. “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

Taylor nodded, “You wanted to be low key Sir, and this is exactly that. Homely, and functional, like most men your age would own.”

“Couldn’t I at least have a piano?” he asked quietly.

“I will see what I can do.” Taylor promised. 

True enough Escala was a show home more than a real home. He didn’t see any reason for it to be any other way. He entertained there, slept there, worked there and once upon a time a sub would stay there for the weekend. Why did it need to be homely? He was out of his depth here, this whole cosy atmosphere reminded him far too strongly of his birth mother’s home. Although that had never been this clean, or well kept. Not unless he had done it himself, even though he was just 4 years old. Christian checked the fridge, basic food to cook that even he couldn’t mess up and a few bottles of wine. He winced looking at the labels, they were fairly cheap, but he had tasted worse. Certainly if they ended up back here at the end of the night, he could manage with what had been provided. He had also noted that Taylor had thought to supply not only toiletries but a box of condoms in the bathroom. Always thinking of every little detail his employer could possibly need.

Christian had showered from work, hidden the suit where it wouldn’t be noticed and changed into a pair of trainers, jeans and a jumper with a leather jacket over the top. He hadn’t dressed like this since he and Elliot used to go out drinking together. It felt odd. Checking his phone when he saw the voicemail icon flashing, he saw Flynn had left him the third message this afternoon since skipping out on his appointment. He really needed to learn that Grey wouldn’t speak to someone if he didn’t want to. Not to mention the fact he was completely freaking out about the lack of control he had over this whole evening. Control was something he hated to give up to any other person, would rather plan every single second of his day himself.

However as Ana walked towards him, dressed in nothing other than a form fitting pair of jeans and a baggy jumper those panicked thoughts seemed to vanish without a trace. “Good evening Miss Steele.” He said, taking her hand to kiss it.

“Well, Mr Christian. You do look nice.” She replied with a smile.

“You never said if we would be driving tonight, if we need to my apartment is a few minutes away.” He asked. 

“I think we will be fine.” Ana promised, taking his arm.

Christian took a deep breath, she was close to his no go areas. A little too close for his liking, but she made no attempt to travel any closer to them as she guided him down the street. Slowly he relaxed into the gentle pressure on his arm. It felt nicer than he could have expected. “Do I get any clue of where we are going?” he asked quietly. 

“We will be there in a moment, patience is a virtue.” Ana smiled.

“Patience is not my strong suit Miss Steele, I am much more of a seize the moment any way I can man.” He retorted, smirking to himself as she realised the sexual overtone of his comment.

“Mr Christian, I am a lady.” She muttered.

“Well, we can soon solve that little problem.” He commented stroking a stray hair from her face, pulling her towards him. 

“Is that so?” she said eying him.

Christian reminded himself that this girl could more than likely break his bones in several places before he could lay a kiss on her lips. “Shall we kiss now or later Miss Steele?” he asked gently.

Ana smiled, and pressed a soft kiss to kiss cheek. “Perhaps that will hold you until later.” Pulling away, not even waiting for him to follow.

Christian’s fingers slid up to touch the spot where she had just kissed. “What the hell are you doing to me, Miss Steele?” he muttered to himself before following her as she ducked between two buildings. He could hear loud music, and people talking as he followed her. Into a fair ground, full of bustling people, loud music and bright lights. “A fair?” he asked in wonder. 

“Do you like it?” she asked shyly. 

He looked around himself trying to take it all in. “I have never in my life been to a fair ground.” He commented, “What are you expected to do here?”

Ana smiled at him warmly, “You are expected to have fun Mr Christian, and fun you shall!”

Christian let her pull him into the thick of it, feeling more than a little overwhelmed by it all. He was close to pulling out his phone and asking Flynn what the hell to do! He spotted Taylor stood between two stalls relaxing slightly, at least he wasn’t suffering this insanity alone. He went over to him as Ana went off to buy some tokens for the rides, he gave her a small wad of notes to get him some as well. “What the hell is a fair ground?” he hissed at his employee. 

Taylor had to force himself to not laugh. “Well sir, dates come here. Dates go on rides, and cuddle close to their dates and usually try to kiss them in the back of some dark ride. As well as the expectation to win the girl the largest and most insane soft toy humanly possible.”

“Oh.” Grey replied mulling it over. “So if I go on rides with Ana and win her a toy, I get a kiss?”

“I should think so Sir.” Taylor smirked.

“Which rides are good?”

“Anything that may scare her and make her cuddle closer.” He suggested.

Ana came over to them, with two bags full of tokens to give him his share. “Oh, hello Taylor. Would you like to join us?” she offered.

Christian gave him the ‘I will fire you look!’, so he made his polite excuses leaving them to it. “Where shall we go first?” Grey asked.

“Bumper cars?” she asked.

He looked at her waiting for her to explain.

Her mouth opened in shock, “You really haven’t been to a fair have you?”

He shook his head

“Well, you see those cars over there?” she pointed, “We both get one, then we chase each other and everyone else around the track hitting them as hard as possible.”

He looked at her, “And this is considered to be fun?”

Ana laughed, “Lighten up Mr Christian.” Pulling him after her. 

Christian had to admit there was a strange satisfaction in knocking cars out of the way who dared to come too close to his Ana. As a result, Ana had hardly seen another car as she drove around, making her force him to go around a second time where he lightened up enough to let some cars vaguely near her. From there they went on some spinning tea cups which made Grey very glad he hadn’t eaten yet. Then to the Ferris wheel, which he loved. The view of the city was second best only to being up in Charlie Tango (his helicopter), but seemed to scare Ana as she gripped his hand tightly the whole time. Worse when the seat swayed a little in the breeze. 

Ana had tried the shooting range, which he had declined having an issue with guns. She did reasonably, winning time a little soft toy teddy bear which was now riding in his back pocket to prevent him getting lost. Before finding themselves in a hall of mirrors which reminded him of a side show from Mia’s birthday years ago. All the distorted pictures around him which seemed to make him look like a beast, but Ana look even more stunning than ever. 

The ghost train was the only ride he picked out, the shrunken plastic heads, and rubber bats outside interested him. When a ghost jumped out from somewhere, Ana found herself in Christian’s arms. Wincing with pain, he pulled her away. “Please don’t.” he asked taking her hand.

She looked at him about to snap.

“Ana, its not you I have a fear of being touched. Specifically my back and chest.” He whispered.

She nodded, “From the mugging?”

Christian tensed, “No, from a very long time ago. It just won’t go away.”

Ana wrapped her arm around his waist, low enough it wasn’t touching his back. “Is this okay?”

He thought for a few moments, waiting for his body to betray him. Surprised himself when it didn’t, “Yes, actually it feels good.” He admitted.

She kissed his cheek again, “Then for now we stay like this.”

Christian was glad she couldn’t see his face in the darkness. He could feel himself close to tears at her blind acceptance of issues his parents still fought him over after all these years. “Thank you baby.” He breathed into her hair.

So engrossed he was with Ana, he never even noticed when the ride had come to an end. Not until they got cheers and heckles from the other customers at their almost kissing nature. Watching Ana blushing, he rose from the cart helping her from it. He tried to leave, but Ana pulled him back. “There are pictures.” She commented, “I want to see.”

Oh, they took pictures on rides? Christian followed her, seeing a picture of both of them cuddled in such a tender position, his lips an inch from her head about to kiss her. He bought two copies without hesitation, so they each had one. This was a night he wanted to remember for a very long time. 

When Ana decided they had done enough rides for one night, they had a meal of hot dogs and candy floss. Not the healthiest, but tasted better than anything he had ever eaten before. Perhaps it was the company he kept tonight. He couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at her across their food, and cups of apple cider. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so relaxed.  
If he had turned around, he would have seen Taylor watching them. A grown man with tears almost in his eyes at his employer, no. His friend looking so at peace, so in love. Perhaps the man who insisted he had no heart was finally discovering what love truly was.


	12. Chapter 12

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 12

Christian woke, stretching lazily. They had finished the night with him winning Ana a huge teddy bear that he had ended up carrying back to her place. He had offered to take her back to his for a drink, but she refused politely. Saying she had to be up early for her first day at Grey Publishing. A work ethic he couldn’t fault. They had arranged to meet again the next evening, a celebration of her new job. A night that he was allowed to plan, which had kept him up late making the arrangements so everything would be perfect. Including arranging a dozen roses to turn up at her desk in the morning, with a good luck card attached. 

For once his dreams hadn’t been peppered with the usual nightmares he suffered. If anything, he had slept late. Normally he would be up around 5am for his run, yet he noticed the clock blinking 7.45am at him. Showering lazily, and dressing he headed down to the kitchen humming a random snatch of music to himself. Not noticing the stares from Gail or Taylor as he did so. Flicking through the morning paper as he ate the breakfast waiting for him. 

The good mood didn’t just make his staff at Escala look at him twice. As he walked into the office with a cheery good morning to both Ros and the assistant he was still calling Andrea. Before starting on his paperwork, the stuff that had been lingering around for months untouched he hadn’t shown interest in. He even managed a thank you when his coffee was brought to him, more than once. Classical music playing in the background softly, keeping him calm. 

A fork in his chicken salad as he worked away looking for new companies to buy, he didn’t even notice he was being watching until Flynn cleared his throat. He looked up, “Did we schedule for today?” he asked. 

“No, we didn’t. You skipped yesterday and I had a concerned phone call from Ros this morning about your mood.” He answered.

“This there something wrong with my mood today?” Grey asked confused, “I was nice to people. At least I think I was.”

“That is what is concerning people, you usually have a rather mercurial outlook on life.” Flynn commented, “Perhaps you would like to share why you are so happy today?”

Christian shrugged indicating the chair across from him, taking another mouthful of his salad. “Is it a crime to be happy?”

Flynn eyed him, “You have music playing in your office, and you never do that. You came to work late, without being hung over or currently drunk. You are being pleasant to everyone around you. I came to Escala last night, you weren’t there. I was told you were out. Would you like to tell me who you were with?”

“Oh, Ana. She took me to a fair.” He commented, still typing away between mouthfuls of food. 

It was Flynn’s turn to be shocked, “You were on a date with a young lady?”

“She wanted to see me again, after that dinner we had.” Grey shrugged, “It isn’t a big deal.”

Flynn tried to process what he was being told, even twenty years of therapy training hadn’t prepared him for this. Not after the years he had spent trying to pull apart Grey’s issues to put him back together. “Yet, you say you don’t want her as a sub?”

Christian shrugged, “Why would I want that? She isn’t the type, too independent. It wouldn’t work for either of us.”

Flynn shook his head, noticing a small stuff bear on the desk. “Where did this come from?”

“Ana won it for me last night.”

Looking closer, Flynn saw there was also a framed photo of the two of them from the fair. In all these years he hadn’t seen as much as a potted plant on Grey’s desk. Now he had ‘date’ items. The strangest thing was Grey couldn’t even see that he was drastically different to the man a few days before. “Are you seeing her again?”

“We are going ice skating tonight.” He commented. 

“Mr Grey is she your girlfriend?” he asked.

Christian looked at him, “I don’t know, maybe I should ask her if she wants to be.”

That floored Flynn completely, he was about ready to phone for a straight jacket when Grey received a phone call. “One minute it’s Ana.” He said excusing himself. He stepped back to the other side of the office as Flynn listened in. “Hey baby, how is your first day going?” A pause. “Oh that’s good, I’m glad you are enjoying it there. Did you get the flowers I sent?” Pause again as he listened, a smile spreading across his face. “Oh good, that’s nice. Now about tonight, I will pick you up same time. Dress like you did last night, it will be much colder than the fairground.” One last pause. “Okay, laters.”

He came back to the confused Flynn, “Sorry, Ana’s lunch break. She just started at Grey Publishing, minus that asshole Hyde.”

Now the fight the day before made sense. “Is Ana happy working for your company?” he asked.

Grey’s face fell, “You think I am stupid enough to tell her who I am? She hates anything to do with the Grey name. I tell her that, I will lose her.”

Oh no, he was setting himself up for the hugest fall. “Christian, are you lying to your almost girlfriend?” he asked.

“Of course I am! If she knew I was Christian Grey fifty shades of fucked up BDSM ex addict CEO of Grey Enterprises I would lose the only good thing in my life. I have a new apartment set up, a new life, and new wardrobe. Anything for her. I mean anything!” he snapped.

“Christian, if you lie to her and you lose her because you lied. How are you going to feel? You need to think about that. You should tell her the truth now, before you invest too much into this.” Flynn warned.

With that, the shutters went down in Christian’s eyes and Mr CEO returned. “I am old enough to do as I want to, I don’t have to answer to you. I have work to do.”

Flynn sighed, “Christian, think about this please.”

“I won’t.” Grey snapped, focusing on his work.


	13. Chapter 13

Returning a Kindness

Chapter 13

Christian put the finishing touches to the gel in his hair ready for tonight. It felt strange to get ready in such a small apartment, even more strange the clothes he was wearing. For a night with Ana and no press, it was worth every single moment of him being uncomfortable. Flynn’s words from earlier haunted him slightly, would Ana really hate him for lying about all of this? He just wanted to protect her. She was far too sweet and kind to be hounded by the press for his jaded past. Plus she wasn’t fond of anything Grey related, so maybe in time when she got over her hatred he would come clean. They would kiss and that would be the end of it. Flynn could suck it for being wrong. He wouldn’t lose Anastasia, he wouldn’t allow it to happen. He needed her too much.

His phone rang Elliot, cursing another interruption he answered it fast. “I thought you weren’t speaking to me?”

“Chris, please tell me what I hear about you lying to a girl isn’t true?”

“Elliot, what is it to do with you anything about my life?” he asked exasperated, “Normally no one cares what I do, as soon as I get a girlfriend everyone is going crazy.”

“Girlfriend?” Elliot stammered, “I thought...”

“Yes I am very aware you all thought I was gay, you are mistaken. What happens between me and Ana is between us and no one else.” 

“Look, I’m not worried about you having a girlfriend. Hell after everything you suffered it’s amazing, but why lie to her?”

“Oh yeah, hi Ana I am fifty shades of fucked up. I used to beat women who look like you to feel better about my mother abusing me as a child. I was raped by an older woman at 15 for years. I had cigarettes put out on my flesh as a baby. The press hates me and tells me often I am better off dead. Oh and I’m your boss as well. Great way to secure a second date!” he snapped. 

A long pause before his brother answered. “You realise now you were raped? Before you always said it was for your own good.”

Christian played the sentence over in his head again that he had just admitted to. “I don’t know Elliot, I really don’t anymore. Since the court case I just feel lost, confused and I hate to admit it, but a little bit scared.” Running his fingers through his hair nervously, forgetting it was gelled. Having to wash his hand fast.

“Chris, you will lose her if you don’t tell her the truth.” He said quietly. 

“If I tell her, I will lose her. I’d rather enjoy what time with her I have.” He replied, ending the call. Why couldn’t people just back off! He knew he would lose Ana, he lost everyone in the end. No one could ever deal with the emotional mess he was in reality. So for god’s sake, let’s enjoy these brief moments while they lasted!

Trying to ignore his mood, Christian head off to meet Ana for their next date. Pulling up outside her apartment. She got in the car and looked at him. “What’s wrong?” she asked, instantly noticing the tension.

He kissed her cheek, “Just a bad day at work. It’s nothing, certainly not when we are celebrating your brand new job.”

“The flowers were beautiful.” She smiled, “Thank you again.”

His hand slipped off the wheel to hold hers, “I have seen more beautiful things.”

She blushed, looking out the window. “Where do you work?”

Christian shrugged, “Just an office, nothing special.”

“What do you do?”

“Mergers, I help companies that are struggling find a benefactor to help provide capital.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, he did do that. He just was a CEO and mostly just had to sign papers and shout at people. If she didn’t ask where office, he couldn’t be hold responsible for not telling her what company it was right? Loophole. 

“Oh.” She said quietly.

Good, it bored her. That made his life easier, as hopefully she wouldn’t ask too many questions. “How is the exciting world of publishing?” he asked. Listening attentively as she gushed about every little part of her dream job, the authors, the books she had read. He found himself smiling at her talking long after they pulled up at the ice rink. She was happy, extremely happy and it was because of him. That gave him a strange warm feeling inside he hadn’t felt before. “I’m so glad you are happy.” He said kissing her gently. 

“Are we here?” she asked between kisses. 

“For a while baby.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I talked too much.” She said looking sad.

“Never too much baby, I love your voice.” He promised. Leading her into the rink.

“I never skated.” She commented, “My balance isn’t great.”

“Well, I used to take my little sister Mia skating all the time, so I won’t let you fall.” He promised. 

Ana, let him dress her up in skates and pull her onto the ice, feeling unsteady as she held tightly to his waist. Trying to make sure she didn’t touch anywhere he wouldn’t like. “There’s no one here?” she commented.

“My friend owns it, let us come after it shut.” He assured her, no way would he admit he dropped a huge amount of cash to close it for the evening. “Now relax, and let the skates hold you up.”

Ana wobbled a little as he led her around, “I’m not sure I can do this.”

“It’s just like dancing, but instead of heels you have a skate.” He promised.

“I’m not great with heels.” She admitted wryly.

“I would beg to differ, I think you look great in anything.” He flirted.

She smiled, relaxing enough he could start to swing her around the ice with him. Closing his eyes as he felt the simple motions coming back to him form Mia’s training sessions. Half listening to the classical music playing in the back ground, when someone caught his attention. 

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes  
but it's the only thing that I know  
when it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
it is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph  
we made these memories for ourselves  
where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
and time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home

He glared over at Taylor who was looking suspiciously innocent at the musical change. Although the words did seem to suit the situation, his mind wandered to the photograph they had taken at the fair. A perfect moment. A photo he had several copies made from the next morning. One for his work desk, one for his desk at Escala, one for the ‘other’ apartment and one he wouldn’t admit to. A tiny copy in his wallet right now. 

“So pretty.” She murmured into his chest as they moved. 

Christian cuddled closer, not noticing that her head was on his chest as they did. “Yes you are.” He whispered in her ear. 

“Christian, this is perfect thank you. I’ve never been on such amazing dates.” She replied.

“Is this a date?” he asked gently.

“I hope so.”

“I hope so too.”

He swung her around to kiss her, hunger grasping his body suddenly from how close they were. Biting her lip to make her open her mouth, to slip his tongue inside. His favourite body part sitting up and cheering that finally it was starting to get what it wanted and had been nagging him for. When they pulled apart, Christian stroked her face. “Are you my girlfriend?” he asked quietly.

“Yes.” She said grabbing him to kiss her again. 

Even deeper this time, Christian had to choke back a moan. “Ana, baby. It is far too cold on the ice to continue this conversation the way I would like to right now.”

“Then take me home.” She breathed.

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

Christian couldn’t get her out of the skates and back into his car fast enough. “My place or yours?” he asked.

“Which is closer?”

“Mine.”

“Then yours.” She asked kissing him again.

“Ana, you will be the death of me.” He swore, “Stop until we get home so we don’t crash!”

She chuckled to herself, “Only until we get home.”

 

Song Photograph, Ed Sheeran


	14. Chapter 14

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 14

He barely unlocked the door before Ana was pushing him back against the wall inside his apartment kissing him. He slammed the door behind them, wrapping his arms around her kissing. Until he realised that something wasn’t right here, why was he letting her take control? Oh no, Christian Grey was going to be in charge of this. Not some slip of a drop dead gorgeous sexy amazing woman. He moved, so that Ana was pressed against the wall instead, making short work of removing her shirt. Staring down at her breasts, before trailing a series of kisses across her chest, pulling her bra cup down so he could tease her nipple. 

She pulled his head up to kiss him passionately, helping him remove her jeans and shoes. Leaving her in just her underwear a little nervous as he stared at her. “Ana, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He breathed, kissing her neck. 

“Why am I the only one getting undressed?” she murmured back dying to touch him, but not sure where was okay.

Seeing her hesitation, he pressed her hands against his shirt. “Undo the buttons but don’t touch my chest, my neck is okay, my arms, below my waist.” 

“Your hair?” she asked gently undoing the buttons, pulling his shirt away. There were scars dotting his chest, burns, and scalds. They looked sore, but they couldn’t be as the skin had scarred over the top. She glanced at them briefly, forcing her eyes back up to meet his so she didn’t make him uncomfortable. “Sorry.” She mumbled.

Christian removed his jeans, and shoes kissing down her body as he did so. “It’s not pretty, I’m sorry.” He said with a sigh.

“You are incredibly sexy, don’t put yourself down.” She insisted, stroking her hands down his arms slowly.

He shivered at her touch, drawing her so close to him that she could feel his erection pressing through their underwear. “Slowly.” He breathed, “It’s been a long time since anyone touched me anywhere.” He placed her hand in his hair, waiting to see how it felt. The only person who had ever touched him there was Elena when she nearly ripped it out, pulling him back when he had tried to run from her. 

She tugged his hair slowly, watching to see if he was okay with it before continuing. Kissing along his jaw line. He moaned slamming her back against the wall. “God I want you.” 

“Christian, wait.” She asked quietly. 

Too quietly for his liking, he pulled away scared before she could push him away or hit him. “I’m sorry.” He said just as quietly. 

“No Christian, please. I just.” Ana blushed.

“Don’t you like me?” he asked.

She blushed deeper, “Christian, its not a question of liking you, I do very much.”

He came back, carefully. Stroking her face, wishing he could just give in and fuck her into every flat surface in this apartment. “Then why?”

She couldn’t meet his eyes, “I’m a virgin.”

That stopped him in his tracks, “You are a what?”

“I never had sex.”

“I know what a virgin is.” He snapped looking at her. “You are 22? Beautiful. How on earth are you are virgin? Men must be desperate to touch you, to date you.”

“I didn’t want any of them, I want you.” She said softly. Pulling him against her, “I need you.”

That was enough for the dominant side of Grey to kick in. If she needed him, then she would damn well get him. Any way she wanted him. He grabbed Ana, pulling her until her legs rested around his waist, leading her into the bedroom before laying her gently down on his bed. He hunted for lube and condoms before coming back to her side. “Ana, a first time is precious. Are you sure you want it to be me that does this?” he asked.

“No one but you, please.” She asked.

Oh god, not begging. His dick grew harder at her voice, he still loved a beautiful submissive woman. Her underwear removed in a split second, as well as his own. Pressing against her as his tongue explored her chest. Every moan coming from her spurring him on. Losing himself in her seductive smell as he worked lower, kissing her thighs as he parted them. Watching to see if she became nervous before slipping his tongue between her legs. 

Her hands tangled in his hair pulling it hard, but not in anger. Pure pleasure as she shivered beneath his touch. Dipping his tongue inside to taste her, she was already so wet, so ready for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept with a woman so willing for him. Probably never. “Ana, this will hurt a little at first. Tell me if it’s too much.” He warned.

Slipping a condom on where he was aching for touch, before covering it with lube just to be extra safe he didn’t hurt her. Even his own touch made him want to explode right now. Nearly a year since he had last had sex, too damn long. “Ana are you okay with this or do you want to stop?” he had to give one last warning, while he still had half his sanity and could stop. 

“Please.” She breathed pulling him up for a deep kiss. 

He didn’t need to ask whether the please meant stop or continue. Her rapid breathing, her energetic kissing told her everything he needed. He slipped carefully inside, letting her get used to his length an inch at a time. “Christian, damn you I can take it!” she cursed in frustration. 

He laughed, “Yes mistress.” He commented, pushing all the way inside. Oh, that was a mistake. She clenched around him so tightly straight away. He moaned, burying his face in her shoulder to calm himself. “You really will be the death of me, Miss Steele.” He moaned, before starting to move again. 

Their lips found each other quickly enough as he set the rapid pace they both needed. Pounding into her over and over again. She had no hope of holding out against the orgasm taking her over. Screaming as he kept up the pace, before very swiftly after following her into the amazing blissful sensation. 

He lay on top of her for several seconds kissing her, before rolling on his back to remove and dispose of the condom. “That wasn’t quite how I planned things to work out this evening.” He commented.

“Oh really, and how did you plan tonight?” she teased.

“Wine, blankets to warm up, candles, soft music, kissing and then other ways to warm up.” He laughed.

She kissed him, “Well maybe we can do that as well.”

“Oh Miss Steele, are you telling me that you would like to start this all over again?” he asked.

“Well, now I’m officially no longer innocent. Maybe you should show me how not innocent I can be?” she asked. 

That comment drew a moan from him, “Ana, I will give you anything you ask.”

“Then show me how you wanted tonight to be.” She asked.

He smiled, “With the greatest pleasure Miss Steele.”


	15. Chapter 15

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 15

Light peaking through the edges of the curtain woke Christian, he blinked slowly taking in his surroundings. This wasn’t Escala? Was it a hotel? Was he on business somewhere? Why was the sun so bright? Rolling over he felt around for his phone he looked at the time. Nearly 10 in the morning?! How the hell?! He rarely slept passed 5am, nightmares always destroying any hope he had of a good night. What the hell was going on? Then a sleepy groan came from next to him, someone cuddling up next to him. Breathing into his back as a soft skinned hand brushed his hip. Oh…

The evening before came back to him, this was the ‘normal’ apartment and that was the stunning Ana next to him. The very first time she had ever experienced sex, as well as the very first time he had shared a bed with another human. He should feel scared, but all he could feel right now was a warm twinge in his heart as he stroked her hand. Another sleepy mumble, she was clearly exhausted after last night. After the first time, there had been two bouts of shower sex. Then a few glasses of wine, which turned into sofa sex before finally returning to bed to finish off the evening. 

He rolled over gently careful not to wake the sleeping beauty by his side, stretching lazily. So this is what other people did at the weekend in stead of working themselves to death like his usual. It was nice, relaxing. He knew there must be a million messages on his phone waiting for him right now, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when there was this goddess in front of him, one that he would love to deflower all over again as soon as she woke. He pulled her closer to him, holding his breath when she snuggled down on his chest without realising. Waiting for the usual scorching pain to set in, the imminent panic attack which would cause her to run screaming from him. Yet, there was nothing.

No fear, no panic, just her steady breathing helping him stay calm. It felt, right. Laying there next to her watching the sun light pierce the room, waiting for her to wake up to start again. Even his dick was playing nicely, instead of straining to touch her again. Just five bouts and for once he felt….

Well, what did he feel? He wasn’t quite sure. It wasn’t something he had ever experienced. Not with Elena as her sub, not with that girl he made out with in college before Elena found out and beat him. Not in the red room with any of the submissive women. He struggled through the wheel of emotions that Flynn was always demanding he use to express himself more.

Satisfied. 

He felt satisfied. That was it. For the first time, in the weirdest ugliest tiny apartment he felt like he was home. Jesus, he had only known the girl a week. How could she bring out all these emotions in him? He made a mental note to book a double emergency session with Flynn first thing Monday to try and work his way through all of this before he screwed it up completely. 

His phone vibrated against the bedside table, fuck off! He thought angrily, who dared disturb him when he was with his Ana! It stopped, and then rang again, vibrating itself onto the floor. Good, it can damn well stay there! He didn’t want anything to do with it as long as she was in his arms. Then a soft, but insistent tapping started on the front door. Christian muttered to himself, if he didn’t go it would wake his love. Annoyed, he slid carefully from her grip. Finding some pj bottoms to drag on so he was decent. Rubbing his hand through his hair quickly hoping it looked vaguely okay. Stumbling across the unfamiliar living room still half asleep himself he found his way to the door. Trying to stifle a yawn as he opened it, to see a very shocked looking Taylor standing in front of him. “What?” he snapped.

“You aren’t answering your phone.” He commented.

“And? Can’t I take a single fucking day off without the company going bankrupt?” he glared.

Taylor looked taken aback even further by that comment. “Of course not sir, but it is quite late in the day. Normally you have rung me hours ago stating your intent for the day.”

Christian had to stifle another yawn, “Is it a crime to sleep in Taylor?”

Taylor by now looked like he was about to faint. His boss ignoring his phone, taking time off, spending it with a girl that wasn’t his slave as well as actually sleeping? Who was he and where was Christian Grey CEO? “Is there anything I can do for you today sir?” he asked quickly, trying to mask his shock. 

“Breakfast for two, coffee my usual way and English breakfast tea bag out for Ana. Leave the simple car here, we may go for a drive later on.” Christian decided.

“Of course, sir.” 

Christian shook his head, why were people acting so oddly around him lately? Flynn, Ros, well everyone really. He went for a hot shower, relaxing under the steam humming to himself. By the time he got back to the living room, Taylor had silently snuck in with breakfast and coffee before leaving again. Perfect timing, as Ana stumbled into the room yawning. “Hello gorgeous.” He said, kissing her cheek, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you. Strangely I was exhausted, I can’t think why.” She teased, coming in for a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Go shower, and I will plate up breakfast. Help yourself to my clothes, whatever you need.” He offered. 

“Okay baby.” 

She slunk off, as he tried not to perve on her retreating backside. “What are you doing to me Miss Steele?” he muttered to himself. He searched the cupboards to find some plates, and start dishing up the food from the warmer caddy Taylor had left. Pancakes and bacon for two, blueberry muffins. Good choices, he only hoped Ana agreed. He didn’t even know what she liked to eat properly yet. Although as long as she ate something he would be happy. She was far too thin for his liking. 

She slipped back into the kitchen a few minutes later. Damp hair, still wearing her jeans from the night before but with one of his favourite black shirts loosely buttoned over the top. She looked sexy as hell in it. She took her tea, dunking the bag slowly throwing it away before it looked anything like the colour he would expect from tea. Strange how she liked it so weak, and even then piled extra milk in. She helped herself to the food as he offered it. “Good choice.” She commented between bites.

“Hungry this morning?” he asked with a faint smile as he tucked into his own food.

“Oh I can’t think why Mr Christian.” She joked.

He snorted into his coffee, “At least now I know the secret to make you actually eat.”

She kicked him playfully under the table. “I don’t think you will be playing that game for a while.”

Concern flashed on his face, “Did I hurt you?” Oh god, if he had he would never forgive himself.

She stroked his hand, “Shh, just a little sore. I’m told it’s normal first time.”

“And who told you that, Miss Steele? Telling the world about our little tryst?” he teased.

She laughed, “That would be hard when I don’t even know your last name. I googled from your blackberry. I hope you don’t mind, there were a lot of messages. I didn’t look at only, promise.”

Normally he would punch anyone who touched his belongings, yet her sweet face he could refuse nothing to. ”Does your phone not have internet?” he asked.

She pulled it out her pocket, a basic old flip phone. At least five years told, more than likely ten. “Curse of a college student life style, I really must buy a new one.”

“I will get you one.” Christian promised.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t let you.”

He kissed her hand, “I can afford it love, don’t worry.”

She blushed at his little pet word, “Only if you let me buy you dinner out my first week wages.”

He rolled his eyes, like hell that was going to happen. “We will see, now what would you like to do today?”

“You don’t have to work?” she asked.

He only just bit back in time, ‘baby, I run the company I do as I will’. “Not this weekend, so any plans?” 

“Do you like to hike?” she asked, “I heard there are some amazing forest trails around here. I just haven’t been brave enough to explore on my own.”

Could this girl get any more perfect? “I would be honoured to show you. I normally end up on a run in the city, as you well know. It’s been too long since I took the time to go up to one of the trails.”

“Then that please, but I need to go home and get my hiking boots.”

“Your wish is my command Miss Steele.” Who would have thought after a cute date, a romantic date and several love making sessions she would pick a forest walk as take number three? Yet he would still find a way to make it magical. 

Somehow.


	16. Chapter 16

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 16

It was pushing midnight when Christian’s phone vibrated, waking him from his slumbering next to Ana. He cursed, thinking he had turned it off. This time he did, punching the buttons until the frustrating thing silenced. It had been Elliot, no doubt wanting to know where he had been the entire weekend. He must have had sixty missed calls from the man since their little argument Friday night before he had taken Ana ice skating. As well as all the calls /texts and emails from work. They all more than likely thought he was laying dead somewhere after two full days of ignoring the world to be in this sugar coated little apartment with Ana. 

The hike had been wonderful, well after he had run begging to Gail for a pack up lunch to take, along with a bottle of wine and two glasses. No way was he risking Ana’s life with his level of cooking or rather lack of it. He had never seen the point in learning. First Grace had cooked all his meals, then Gail. At weekends his sex slaves had, so he had no real need. Although if Ana was going to be around more, he might have to change that little fact. The weather for the hike had been more than ideal. Warm, sunny, yet not hot enough to make it unbearable. He had forgotten how nice it could be to get away from the city, and life. Up here there was no cell range, so they were completely alone. He hadn’t even allowed Taylor to stalk them like he usually did. He couldn’t risk Ana getting suspicious. There were even a bunch of photos oh his phone of the two of them. 

After lunch, and a few attempts at fooling around in the woods which Ana had spurned gently scared someone might see them. They had returned home, to shower, change, go back out for a nice meal and ended up in Ana’s bed making the springs bounce. Before spending the whole of Sunday curled up in her apartment watching movies. Something he had rarely done, even as a child. In between more bouts of exercise and slow lazy afternoon naps. He had never known a weekend like it, but he never wanted another without it. He was happy, an emotion he rarely experienced. 

Cuddling up to Ana’s warm back, he thought about what Elliot had said as well as Flynn. He couldn’t risk losing Ana, not over anything. They were right, he had to come clean before it was too late. Tomorrow night, he would take her to dinner and tell her the truth. At least he would try to, his throat seized up at even the thought of it. He just hoped that she would forgive his little ruse, understand that he just needed to feel like a person again. To not have to worry if she was a gold digger, or if she wouldn’t accept his hard limits. 

He breathed her hair in, that sweet smell of flowers that always came from her. He could curl up and die in a bottle of her scent. He didn’t know how on earth he was going to deal with going to work tomorrow instead of being by her side every second. “Ana are you asleep?” he mumbled into her ear. Nothing, but a sleepy mutter. He stroked his hand down her chest, waiting for a reaction.

No, his Ana was deeply asleep. Good, that would work to his interest for once. “Ana baby, tomorrow I am going to tell you a huge secret. My secret, all of them. Every single thing you want to know about me. My addict mother, adoption, my family, my company.” Hell right now, he would even tell her why he feared touch so much. “I need you to tell me that you don’t mind that I am a Grey. That you don’t hate everything Grey anymore, if you did that would kill me. Ana, I need you to be mine.”

No response, he knew there wouldn’t be. He felt a little calmer after telling her, even if she wouldn’t remember. She turned, stroking his chest again. Even in her sleep, she knew he was upset and how to calm him. “Oh Ana, you stole my heart.” He murmured, “The heart I didn’t even know I had.” Breathing her in as she lulled him silently back into a deep sleep.

XXX

Christian walked into the office carrying a tray of coffee. He had woken at 5, to go home shower and change ready for work. Leaving Ana a note on her pillow telling her he would meet her after work that he needed to talk to her. Before heading to a coffee shop to start working through his emails from work before he hit the office. At least that way he would be prepared. Ros seemed frantic over some deal or another, well that wasn’t unusual. He could fix that in a five minute phone call later. The police report on the muggers had been emailed over to him by his father, promising that they would be dealt with. Elliot’s endless fretting over the situation. A few missed calls from Flynn, he wondered briefly if he had booked sessions this weekend and missed them. As well as a pile of emails he needed to answer. Sipping a coffee, he had spent an hour patiently putting the world of Grey Enterprises back how it should be. Before thinking it would be nice to bring Ros and Andrea a coffee for a change, after they patiently supplied him every single day.

So he had, because why not!

“Good morning Ros.” He said cheerfully humming as he dropped off the coffee and breakfast wrap on her desk before turning to Andrea’s desk to drop off hers. Heading into his office with his own drink.

“What the actual hell?” Ros muttered to herself. Four years working with the company, four years fixing every single mess of Grey’s and never once had he bought her coffee. Nor offered, or done anything that showed kindness towards her. Her boss was losing his mind! She speed dialled Flynn for an emergency appointment.

Christian poked his head out of his office again a few seconds later, “Andrea, can you copy me these please.” Before looking around, “Ros, where is Andrea?” he asked, the penny finally dropping.

“Accounting.” She said coldly.

“Why is Andrea in accounting?” he asked confused.

“Because you, Mr Grey fired her months ago leaving me trying to run both sides of your life or constantly interviewing for temp assistants that you fire within a fortnight.” She snapped. 

Grey looked shocked, “Why would I fired Andrea? She is the best assistant I could wish for.”

“You tell me.” Ros countered, “You fired her while I was on your business trip To New York that you pulled out on last minute.”

He pursed his lips, he really didn’t remember it. Then again, he had been drunk a hell of a lot of the time lately. “Well, get her back. We need her.” He slunk back into his office.

“I need a drink, a real one.” She said quietly to herself starting on the day’s paperwork. 

XXX

Barely half an hour later Flynn found himself outside Grey’s office after a frantic call from Ros about him needing to be committed to an insane asylum pronto. He had hardly expected to find what he did when he reached the office. Grey had music playing again. Classical, calming, relaxing. That wasn’t the scariest thing about the situation. Grey was almost dancing around his desk as he collated paperwork himself instead of waiting for an assistant. The whole time singing snatches of a modern pop love song that Flynn was pretty sure the man shouldn’t even know the words to. 

“See what I mean?” Ros asked quietly so the man didn’t realise he was being watched.

Flynn nodded slowly, “Ring Elliot, get him here and call my office. Tell them to cancel my appointments until lunch as well as any Grey has.”

She nodded, leaving him to carry on watching, making mental notes on everything the other man was doing. He knew that Ana was having an effect on him, that it was starting to look like love. Even so, what on earth had happened this weekend to produce this outcome? Elliot was behind him in minutes, he looked at him puzzled.

“My brother turned his phone off for the entire weekend, you really think I wouldn’t be here first thing to check if he was alive?” he asked.

“All weekend?” Flynn questioned, “No work calls, no emails, nothing?”

“For all we knew he was dead somewhere.” Elliot sighed, “The whole family has been out of its mind with worry, out looking for him. Until he answered one of his father’s emails this morning. “He pulled out his phone to show Flynn the message. ‘Thanks Dad, see you soon. C x’ “He has never signed anything his whole life with an ‘x’, not even Mia’s birthday cards.” Elliot said quietly.

“Where was he all weekend?” Flynn asked.

“Last I hear, going skating with Ana Friday night.” 

Flynn smiled, “He vanished Friday night and didn’t reappear until Monday morning. After seeing a pretty young girl?”

Elliot stared at him, his face changing as the penny finally dropped. “He got laid? He actually got laid? Without all the pain, abuse and shit?”

“Looks like it.” Flynn replied.

“But he told us he was gay, that the BDSM thing was only a cover because he couldn’t accept not being into girls.”

“He lied.”

“He really got laid?” Elliot asked, breaking into a warm smile. “Way to go Christian!!!! Wait til I tell mom!”

“Perhaps not the thing to tell a parent first thing in the morning.” Flynn suggested.

“Screw that, we have been waiting for him to date since high school!”

“Yet you know he lied to her.” Flynn warned.

That deflated Elliot’s mood, “Yeah I do, thank you for telling me.”

“I only can because he signed that waiver to keep his family informed. If he pulls that, I can’t help you anymore.” He warned.

“Then let’s hope the girl distracts him from working out how I knew.” Elliot commented, watching his brother’s good mood. “He doesn’t even know we are here.”

“That’s love for you.”


	17. Chapter 17

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 17

Flynn entered the office, tapping on the door. Christian looked up from sorting out his long over due paperwork. “Oh good morning John, did we have an appointment this morning?” he said smiling.

“You are in high spirits this morning, any reason for it?” he asked.

“I had a nice weekend.” Christian replied, still piling papers into sections.

“Where you with Ana?” he pressed.

Even if he didn’t answer, it was written all over Christian’s face when her name was mentioned. “Maybe.”

“Since when do you sing?” Flynn asked, changing tactic.

“Since I had something to sing about.”

“Which is?”

Christian skipped off into another dreamy faraway smile. “I just slept really well this weekend, it made a nice change.”

Oh he had it bad, Flynn smiled to himself. For years he had been hoping that his patient would actually experience the realness of a loving relationship. He just never expected it to happen so suddenly. “Do you love her?”

“So fucking much it scares me to death.” He admitted, “She is perfect, amazing, beautiful, funny, smart, caring. When I am with her, I feel so good. I sleep well, I’m calm. She makes me a better person.”

“You had to be willing for that to happen.” Flynn commented.

Grey sat on the edge of his desk, “You have no idea how many times I fantasised of finding someone like her. Someone as deeply in love as my adopted parents, but I thought that was for people for deserved love. Not for fifty shades of fucked up people like me. I’m with this girl, and I can imagine a future with her. I could picture being married to her, having kids, a family. A real one after all these years alone. Am I crazy?” he asked, the insecurity darkening his eyes.

“No more so than another other young man in love.” Flynn reassured, “You never told me you wanted a family?”

“I didn’t want you to laugh.” Grey said quietly, “I mean me, the sadist with a sweet young girl and kids? Yeah right.”

“Christian, you deserve love. You are loved, by your family, your friends. Why not a girl as well?” he pressed.

Christian wiped his eyes, feeling tears start to be shed. “Stop, please.” He asked in a tiny almost silent voice, “I can’t think about this, I’m telling Ana who I am tonight. She could leave me. Like my family already have, like everyone always has.”

Flynn took his patient’s hand reassuringly, “You are worthy of love Christian, you always were. You just made some mistakes. You still do, like lying to Ana but yes you can fix that with the truth. By not speaking to your family, who yes were shocked at first by your past. Anyone would have been, and then they felt guilty for letting it happen. For never seeing what was going on with you. Christian, they spent all weekend worried for you because you turned your phone off. You have never done that unless you are on a plane in the last ten years that I know of.”

Christian looked away, “I just wanted to be a person for a little while, not a CEO, not a monster, or a sadist or a dominant and certainly not a freak. I just wanted to be a man, having fun with a girl. I didn’t think anyone would care if I wasn’t around.”

Flynn sighed, annoyed. “Mr Grey, get it into your thick head. People care, people worry, people want you here. You are not better off dead.” It wouldn’t be the first time they had conversations over Christian wanting to end his own life. 

The rawness in the other man’s eyes as he looked back at his friend, “When I’m with her, I actually feel that someone cares. That someone wants me alive.”

Flynn barely had time to put an arm around his friend before the other man burst into tears. All these years working with him, all the training, all the experience he had. It couldn’t prepare him for this. The moment of breakthrough he had prayed for longer than he could remember. The moment of clarity where they could start to build a healthy future together, the first step towards freedom for Grey. It didn’t stop his heart from clenching as he held his friend, or stop him from having to fight back tears himself as he comforted someone he thought of like a son. Every wall that the other man had spent a life time forming to protect himself was finally coming crashing down. Leaving a frightened little boy beneath it, the same little boy that Grace had taken home from the hospital all those years ago. For all the leaps Christian had made in life, he was still a child inside emotionally. He needed love, and love he would get now he would allow it. 

The doctor wasn’t sure how long he sat there holding Grey, he knew that Elliot had closed the door after blackening the blinds to give them privacy as the melt down had started. Tears on his own face from watching/listening sneakily to everything that had been expressed. Eventually Christian calmed and became so quiet that Flynn almost wondered if he had fallen asleep. Before slowly the man sat up, wiping his eyes looking shaky. “Sorry.” He said quietly.

“Christian, after ten years of you paying me I have finally helped you for the first time. Don’t even try to say sorry for that. Wait here.” Flynn commented, fetching him a coffee with plenty of sugar before shutting them back inside the office. 

Grey’s hands were shaking as he took the cup, sipping it. Regaining some form of calm over himself as the cup started to empty. “Thanks.”

“How do you feel now all that is out in the open?” Flynn asked.

Christian thought about it a little, “Better, so much better.”

“Anything else?”

“Like I could sleep for a week.” 

He wasn’t lying, even Flynn could see he was starting to fight to keep his eyes open. “That’s perfectly normal after a ‘good’ session, why don’t you take a nap? You will feel better after that.”

“I have work, hell I’m at work!” Grey deflected.

Flynn gave him an evil glare, “Get some sleep Christian, I will get Ros to hold your calls, stop your appointments today. Elliot can sit with you, make sure you are okay.”

“Elliot is here?” he yawned. Okay, maybe he did need a nap after all. 

“All morning, same as me, everyone has been worried Christian. Try to remember that next time you feel low.” He watched as Grey removed his tie, unbuttoned the top of his shirt and lay down on the leather couch. 

“I try.” He mumbled. 

Flynn opened the door enough to give Elliot an indication to come in. “Jesus, what did you do? Drug him?” he asked seeing his brother peacefully asleep.”

“He got a lot off his chest today, enough he needs to rest. I expect the nightmares to wake him in a few hours. I think it best if you stay with him until he wakes, after as well if you think he needs.” Flynn asked.

Elliot nodded, “Whatever it takes to get my brother back.”

“He is a lot closer than you think, give him a little more time.” Flynn promised, heading off to inform Ros of the plan.

Elliot took a seat across from his brother on the arm chair they used for interviews. “Damn boy, what has this girl done to you?” Texting his mother with an update he could only wish that they had met Ana years ago.


	18. Chapter 18

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 18

Christian slept like the dead after his session, hours passed as Elliot sat there working from his ipad watching over his brother. Grace had called, Elliot had filled her in as best her could. He knew she was crying on the other end of the phone as much as the rest of them were. None of them could quite get their head around what was happening. What was suddenly changing their cold family member into a warm loving man. 

Talking of which, he looked up. Christian was starting to mumble in his sleep. He had heard his brother’s screams from nightmares before, but never seen one up close. He was twisting in his sleep, “No, Elena. Please don’t. I’m sorry. Don’t hurt me.” He begged, “No, I will do anything. Just don’t hurt me.”

Elliot was nearly in tears again, fuck that woman! He was on his knees by Christian’s side, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wished his mom was there or that he had Ana’s number. “Chris, wake up. Just a dream, Chris time to wake up.”

“NO! ELENA! PLEASE!” Christian got louder.

“Chris, Ana is here. Ana wants to see you.” He tried from desperation, shaking his shoulder carefully.

Christian stirred instantly, “Ana, baby?” he slurred starting to wake up.

“Take it easy.” Elliot warned, “Slowly.”

Grey blinked around the room, “Where am I?”

“At work, you fell asleep.” Elliot said calmly, hoping that if he faked calm it would help Chris to slow the pounding in his chest he could see even from here.

Christian blinked a few more times, “Nightmare?” he asked.

“Yeah, so take a minute dude.” 

Christian sat up, head in his hands, “Fucking woman, all these years and still has me in her grasp.”

Elliot slipped a hand carefully on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “You never told me they were still so bad.”

Grey sighed, “I didn’t think it was important.”

“Damn you Chris, you are my brother. Of course it is important!” he snapped, standing to fetch a glass of water form the desk.

“Sorry.” He said quietly, sipping the offered water trying to come back to reality. Before he realised who was watching from the doorway. “Ana.”

“No dude, I just said she was here to wake you.” He promised.

“Ana, what are you doing here?” he asked looking deathly pale.

Ana met his gaze, her eyes burning with fury. “So, its Grey is it? Christian fucking asshole Grey, CEO of the asshole company that fucked me over. The asshole company that only gave me a job because I was fucking its CEO the whole time!”

“Oh hell.” Elliot murmured.

“Get out Elliot, this is between us.” Grey warned, “Ana, we need to talk about this. Calm down please.”

XXX

Ana was having a wonderful day at work. She had woken to a beautiful message on her pillow asking her to dinner tonight. She had been a little worried about the ‘we need to talk’ part, texting Christian as soon as she could. He had reassured her that it wasn’t her, just he wanted to be truthful with her about his past. The questions she had been trying not to ask. She had still been nervous until she arrived at work to see Christian had sent her a huge bunch of roses covering her desk. With a note attached ‘until tonight, my love.’

She hadn’t been able to stop smiling at that all morning, distracted from her work. She was glad that Hyde was gone now. Although part of her wondered if Christian had something to do with his being fired. It was strange how whenever she said to him something that was hurting her, a few days later it was fixed. Perfectly in her favour, making her life amazing: the job, the laptop and now Hyde being fired and her offered a chance to temp in his spot until they found a replacement. Maybe she was being suspicious, but it did seem a little bit surreal.

She made her way through the day, planning to eat her lunch at her desk to save time as she tried to catch up with the piles of untouched manuscripts Jack had been abandoning for months by the looks of things. Her assistant Hannah walked in, placing her chicken salad on the desk along with her coffee. Some day’s tea just wasn’t enough. “So, how do you know Mr Grey?” she asked tidying up the papers she needed to copy.

“Mr Grey?” Ana asked confused, “I never met him, I didn’t think anyone did anymore. I heard he was a recluse.”

Hannah looked weirdly at her, “You have a picture of him with you on your desk.”

Ana looked at the picture from the fair, “That’s my boyfriend, Christian.”

Hannah laughed, “Someone has been telling you lies my dear. That is Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises and your bosses, bosses, boss or something weird like that.”

Ana looked at the picture in horror, it couldn’t be. “But, he never told me.”

Hannah dropped a copy of an old newspaper on her lap, ‘Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises a closet BDSM Dom.’ the article went on to tlak of a court case, and an abusive past. “That was the headline, six months ago before the company slammed a load of legal threats on the press.”

Ana looked at the newspaper, she couldn’t deny the man that was staring back at her. It was her Christian, clean shaven, better dressed, but him never the less. “Excuse me.” She muttered, grabbing her purse. She had to see for herself if this was true. She had to know why he had lied to her.

Not trusting herself to drive, Ana took a cab. Finding herself at the CEO Head quarters just minutes after she left the office. Looking briefly for the right floor before heading into the elevator, tapping her foot as it seemed to take forever to get to the right floor. There were two ladies rushed off their feet trying to answer phones, and deal with a shouting man in a board room. She snuck passed them unseen, seeing a glimpse of her Christian sat in the office talking to another man. It was real, everything she had been told. She was fucking her boss. He had lied to her, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to scream, cry, punch him or throw up. 

She stood by the doorway a few seconds before Christian noticed her. Calling her name, asking why she was here. Oh of course, because he wanted to keep his little scandal under wraps. She glared at him, her anger rising. “So, its Grey is it? Christian fucking asshole Grey, CEO of the asshole company that fucked me over. The asshole company that only gave me a job because I was fucking its CEO the whole time!”

He looked scared, begging her to talk as he sent the other man away.

“What the fuck is there to talk about?” she demanded, “You lied to me. You told me you were just a guy in mergers, just a normal guy. Who lived in a normal flat like man.” Her mouth dropped open as things started to connect. “That house, the first night. That was yours, not your friends. You bought that new apartment to lie to me. You made me fall in love with you, and it was all a game.”

Christian reached out to her, crushed as she pulled away. “I never meant to lie to you, I just wanted to protect you. From my life, from the crap of the court case, I just wanted to be a normal guy in a normal relationship with a beautiful girl I fell in love with the first second I saw her.”

 

“Love, bullshit you can’t love someone you know nothing about.” Ana snapped, “You knew how I felt about Grey, you knew how much they had fucked me over. But of course, you fixed that didn’t you. You got Hyde fired, you got me promoted, you tried to buy me off.”

“You got promoted?” He asked, that floored him all he knew was he had asked for her to be given a job. “I just asked for a job there, any job. If you got a promotion that was on you, not me I’d never force you into a position that you couldn’t cope with.”

“How can I believe anything you say anymore?” she asked, tears flowing.

“Baby, don’t cry please don’t cry.” All Grey wanted was to take her in his arms, wash away all this pain. “I was going to tell you tonight, all of it. Yes, I smudged a few facts. My name, my position, where I live I can’t deny that. You have no idea how wonderful you make me feel when we are together. How much that stupid little apartment feels like home, our home. I love you Anastasia Steele, please believe me.”

Ana shook her head crying, “I don’t believe anything you say, I can’t. Not after all of this. I gave you everything, my heart, my virginity, my trust. And you betrayed me. I quit, you can shove your job.”

“Ana, no please.” He grabbed her arm to pull her back and she kicked him. Right in his favourite body part, the one she had been massaging only a few hours ago. He groaned, bending over the desk, trying to get an edge over his pain.

“I hate you.” She snapped, almost running from the office.

He staggered after her as best he could, “Ana, please don’t leave like this. I love you.”

He reached for her hand again, just as she got to the elevator. She swung one punch, just one. Connecting with his nose, blood flowing freely when she pulled back. “Don’t you ever touch me again.” Slamming the button for the ground floor.

“Ana, please. I can’t lose you.” He begged, falling to his knees hoping that she would stay. “Ana, I will do anything, please stay.”

“Drop dead.” The doors closed, leaving Christian on his knees with Ros, Andrea and Elliot watching him.

Christian stood slowly, wiping the blood from his nose with the hanky he always carried. Emotions flickered across his face slowly. Pain, loss, tears, confusion, desperation, before defeat finally settled on his shoulders. As Elliot watched, the mask started to form back on his brother’s face. His body stiffening, as the CEO came back into control. “Get back to work, show time is over.” He snapped with enough ice in his voice to sink the titanic. He strode back to his office, slamming and locking the door behind him.

“Call Flynn.” Elliot said quietly, “Christian needs to be on suicide watch.”


	19. Chapter 19

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 19

True to her word Ana had handed in her months notice that very night. Christian had tried to refuse it, but legally he couldn’t. Although he had asked the HR of the Publishing firm to try and change her mind any way possible. Even if it was with a pay rise, transfer, anything to keep her near. In the end she had agreed to stay until they found a suitable replacement, so of course Grey did everything to make sure a suitable replacement wasn’t located. He had sent her flowers every single day begging her forgiveness. Rung her phone a million times, messaged the most adorable in depth emails explaining how wrong he was, how he wished he could have another chance to fix things. 

Ana never replied, not the any of the, He didn’t even know if she was reading them. He had moved over to trying gifts, the phone he had promised her. Beautiful old books that he knew she loved. Chocolates, jewellery, even a stunning dress. Every single one had been returned and was now sitting in a small pile behind his desk. Desperation had struck, he had even turned up outside her work last night. Coming over to her as she left, to offer her a lift home so she didn’t get soaked in the rain storm after her car had broken down. Yes, Taylor was giving him daily updates of everything happening in Ana’s life, he needed something. All she had done was hiss ‘drop dead asshole’ at him and keep walking in the rain. 

Christian didn’t know what to do, he was losing hope. It had been months since he had heard a single word from her. He hadn’t slept, barely eaten anything. He had gone to work a handful of times, but ended up losing it smashing his desk. In the end he had started going in after everyone had gone home, working through the night with a whisky bottle next to him. He couldn’t leave the company to go to ruin, not after spending his whole life creating it. He didn’t care if he lost everything, but he wouldn’t allow funding to his charity work to be risked. Too many children depended on him and his money. What if his company folded and another little boy or girl was left starving to death on their parents floor? Elliot and Flynn had been all over him ever since it happened. He ignored Elliot, spent all of Flynn’s sessions barely listening to a word that he said just staring off into space thinking about Ana. Hoping she was okay, praying for a way to gain her trust back. Or at least hear her voice again.

He had found himself ringing her office with his number with held, just to hear her speak and then hang up. Her sweet deep tones sending electric shocks through his body, leaving him longing for more of her, to see her even for a second. Several times he had passed out in his office, only to wake up in his bed a couple of hours later with his head pounding. Christian wasn’t even sure who had bailed him back there. Taylor, Flynn, Elliot, it could have been any one of the three. He couldn’t even bring himself to ask. No one said anything, so he just dragged his weary ass up and tried to fake it through another day.

The last few days, he had just sat in his home office alone. Staring off into space, either drinking, drunk, or trying to find a way to connect with his Ana. The teddy bear had been brought back from the office that she had won him. It sat there next to her picture mocking him with it’s cheerily smile. It often bounced half away across the room when the stare became too much, only to late be collected. Hugged, kissed, apologised to and sat back on the desk where it should be. If only returning Ana to her rightful place would be so easy!

Taylor came into the office, worrying over his friend. The man stank of cheap booze, and was that cigarettes? He didn’t even think Grey smoked. He couldn’t remember the last time his boss had showered or changed his clothes. He was falling apart a little more every single day they were apart. It was time that someone did something to end this. Because Ana was clearly too full of pride and anger to even consider what Grey had to say. If they could just get them in a room together, they would be bound to talk. If they talked, they would more than likely end up having sex. Sex was good, it could get them back together. Or at least plug some of the agony he was sure both parties were feeling right now. 

That was why Elliot, Grace, Flynn and he had spent the whole afternoon setting up a scenario where they would be forced to interact together. In mixed company, where they couldn’t escape each other. He cleared his throat, trying not to gag on the smell. “Mr Grey, tonight is the social at your mother’s house.” He attempted.

Grey’s eyes slowly rolled over to him trying to take in the words that had been spoken, “I don’t care Taylor.” He said quietly, “Nothing matters anymore, not without her.”

“I thought you might like to know your mother has extended the guest list this year. To include publishing houses in her networking circle, she is considering writing a medical journal.” He commented. She wasn’t of course, but it was a good excuse to invite the largest local publishing houses to a party. As well as to manipulate a few invited members of staff to come along, including one brunette young lady named Ana. 

“All I need is some more whisky.” He slurred, looking away.

“Yes sir.” Taylor replied primly, “I just thought you might be interested in the fact a Miss Anastasia Steele would be in attendance tonight along with representatives from Grey Publishing.” 

He paused at the door waiting for the words to settle into Christian’s drink addled mind. “Ana?” he asked in a whisper. 

“Yes Sir, she is currently acting editor of Grey Publishing. At least for the next few weeks, so she has to be there.”

“Ana will be there tonight?” he said again, his voice starting to grow in strength.

“Shall I fetch the car?” he smiled. 

“Ana.” Christian said again, running his hands through his hair. “I should find some shoes.” He started looking around trying to work out where they had gone.

“Perhaps a shower as well sir.” He prompted kindly. 

“Oh, yes of course.” Grey said coming back to himself more, “And my best suit and tie.”

“It will be ready for you sir, a bath has already been drawn ready for you.” He assured his boss, letting out a deep breath when Christian went to get ready for the party. Finally! He dialled the Grey House, “He will be there soon.” He said snapping the connection. He had done his part, now he had to hope the others would as well. 

XXX

Ana had a headache, all these days of suffering constant harassment she couldn’t share with anyone. Then Grey trying to win her heart back as well. All she wanted was some peace to think things through. He had broken her heart, she had known he had secrets but never expected something so huge. He knew how she felt about Grey, and still didn’t tell her. 

“Would you have let him?” Her mind asked her. “Or would you just have walked out the second he said his name was Grey?” Ana sighed, even her own mind was against her. She just wished he would back off a little bit. When he was harassing her every single moment of every single day she couldn’t breathe. On top of all the work she had trying to sort out the mess Hyde had left behind and her more personal problem, she was feeling overwhelmed. If she was upset she would normally go to her step dad, but he was gone now. Or she would text Christian, but he was the one who hurt her. So she was left alone struggling with it all. She really needed to hear his calming voice.

She had nearly called him back a million times, just to hear this voice. Yet she couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. She knew they had to talk, but she just couldn’t face it right now. Maybe after she found a new job, and had a little time. She loved him, she knew that much. She just didn’t know how to get over the lies. She felt like a whore, all those years waiting and she threw it away on a guy who wanted to buy her with gifts. It made her sick, more than once. She couldn’t seem to keep anything down lately too nervous all the time. It had to be nerves right? Too early for anything else to be happening.

Smoothing down the black ball gown work Christian had bought her, okay yes. She had kept one of the gifts he sent. Only one! It was too stunning to give up, plus she needed something to wear to this crazy ball she had to network tonight for work. Coupled with the fact it was for Christian’s mother, and he was bound to be there wasn’t helping her nerves. She had begged to not go, but she had no choice. So there she was, sipping Champaign maybe a little faster than she should do, dressed in an amazing fairytale gown, and heels she could barely walk in. After spending hours doing her hair and make up, before redoing it in new styles trying to take her mind off the evening.

She had been here an hour, lurking in the back ground as much as possible. On her third glass before Grace finally came up to her. Thank god, maybe I can leave soon was her first thought. “Ana?” she asked, “I’m Christian’s mother Grace. It’s lovely to meet you.”

Ana shook her hand, “Thank you Mrs Grey, likewise. He always spoke fondly of you.” 

“You made such a difference to him Ana, he is so lost without you.” She said kindly, moving them away from the crowd to be more private.”

Ana sighed, “I can’t get over what he did, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have come tonight, but the company said I had to. I wouldn’t want to make him or you uncomfortable.”

Grace took Ana into her arms, “Oh my dear girl, I asked for you. I hoped you and my son could work things out. I know he is difficult, but he has had a strange past. A past that leaves him a little different to other people his age, a little less open with his emotions. You love him, he loves you. Can’t that be enough to try again?” she asked.

Ana found herself wiping tears, “I really don’t know anymore, I don’t know what to think and he won’t let me alone so that I can.”

Grace pointed into the distance, “Look at him without you, he needs you. Just as much as you need him, he hasn’t been the same since you left. Please think about it, you are always welcome in my home. Whenever you need to talk, I will try to help you understand.”

Ana looked across at her ex. Oh he looked bad, so bad. The slight beard he had had when they first met before shaving it off for work. Not only was it back, but had bought its bushier brother with him! His suit was rumpled, he had lost at least 10 pounds since they had last spoken. He was swaying slightly like he was drunk, or at least strongly on the way to getting there. His eyes were red, she could see he had been crying even from this distance. He looked like she had died, or that he had. 

She picked up two glasses from the nearest tray, downing one straight away. Sipping at the other trying to make up her mind what to do for the best of both of them. Her heart wanted to take him in her arms and kiss away his pain. Her inner goddess wanted to screw his brains out on the dance floor, remind herself exactly how well they fitted together. They were both battling with her brain that was telling her over and over again that he was a jerk. That he had lied to her. 

Her father had always spoken about a fight or flight reflex when he had taught her to fight. Told her that every single person had one of two reactions when faced with danger, and then he had tested her over and over again to see which she was. Ana Steele had always fought her way out of any situation she had needed to. Until tonight, tonight she fled. Leaving her half finished drink on the nearest table running from there as fast as she could as tears threatened to blind her.


	20. Chapter 20

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 20

Christian hated being at the party, bad enough he was trying to avoid all of his family so they didn’t get angry at him being there. He couldn’t find Ana anywhere. He found himself wishing that Mia (his baby sister) wasn’t studying in Europe so at least he had her bubbly infectious laughter to keep him sane during it. Trying to keep to the shadows, he crossed the floor before finally noticing what he was searching for. A vision of beauty in black stood talking to his mother on the porch. 

For a moment he was floored by the sight of her, that graceful effortless beauty she always carried herself with. Wearing the dress he had picked for her. Not just personal shopper called for a dress, he had hand picked it from the shop himself. Knowing how stunning it would look on her gentle curves. Although even from this distance he could see she had lost weight. She looked tired, somehow older then she had when they had last spoken. She carried herself like she was hurting, not just in spirit but in her body as well. Favouring one side of her body over the other, like she had been in an accident surely Taylor would have informed him if she had? The way she was downing drinks she looked like she was taking this break up as badly as he was. 

Their eyes met for a brief moment across the crowd, her face softened taking in his appearance. Which he was sure was little better than her own. For a moment he thought she was going to come towards him, so he started to make his way through the crowd. Then the worst thing imaginable happened, she turned and didn’t just walk away. She ran, like she was scared of him.

Christian’s heart broke even further in that simple action, she didn’t love him anymore. Not like he loved her. Even so he had to talk to her, at least say he was sorry in person. So he followed. Searching the crowd for her, but she was gone. He sighed, coming down by the water side to try and collect his scattered thoughts when he heard the sound of someone being violently ill nearby. Wouldn’t be the first time someone had over indulged at the free bar at one of these events. A few more drinks and he probably wouldn’t be far behind them. As he turned he saw a vision of that brunette beauty throwing up into the bushes, hidden from sight of the party. 

Oh Ana! He couldn’t help himself, he was by her side. Holding her hair back, stroking her back trying to calm her as she did what she needed to. “Ana, baby. It’s okay, just breath.” He promised. She settled against him, letting him hold her upright. Offering her his hankichef to wipe her mouth when she was done. “Baby, don’t drink so much please.” He asked softly.

Ana sighed, “It isn’t the drink, don’t worry about it. I will be fine.”

She didn’t look fine, or feel it. She was shivering in the cool night air. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her bare shoulders. “Ana, please. Can we talk about things? Or at least let me drive you home so I know you are safe? I worry about you.”

“Christian please, I just need some space right now.” She asked quietly. 

“Ana, it’s been months. How much more space can you possibly need?” he asked reaching out to touch her arm. Crushed when she pulled back from his hand, not noticing that she winced like she was in pain from the touch.

“Mr Grey, get it through your head. Leave me alone, or I will place a withstraining order on you as well!” she snapped, slipping her heels off so she could cross the grass more easily to escape him.

“As well?” Grey asked, “What are you talking about baby? I just want to help.”

“I don’t want your help, I told you before. Back the fuck off!” she snapped, trying to choke down the feeling she was going to throw up again. “I never want to see you again, understand it.”

“Ana, no I need you.” He sobbed at her retreating back, but she was gone. Indicating to the security he knew wouldn’t be too far away, “Take me home, please.”

XXX

Ana didn’t get far before she ended up having to stop to throw up again. Damn it, she really needed to get this fixed and soon. Thankfully Christian hadn’t followed her, she couldn’t bare him to see her like this. When she got it sorted, then she could talk to him not before. He would try to stop her from doing what she had to. She sunk to the grass, watching the water flowing, trying to calm her stomach so she could go home. Someone came up behind her, offering her a bottle of water. She took it and gratefully rinsed out her mouth. “Christian, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s just really complex for me right now.” She said quietly.

“Christian went home.” The man answered, coming to sit by her.

She recognised him vaguely, “From the office?” she asked.

He nodded, “I’m Elliot, Christian’s brother.”

She nodded, she hadn’t been aware that her boyfriend had a family, but she had done some research after. Looking into the court case Hannah had made her aware of, and the background of his life. “Tell him I’m sorry, please.”

“I think you should tell him that, and I really think you need to let him talk to you. We have spent his whole life trying to bring him out of his shell after the adoption. Nothing worked, he just retreated into himself. Worked, worked out, ate and slept in a fashion around the nightmares. After the court case hit, he got worse and worse. We thought we were going to lose him a few times. Then you appeared, and suddenly we have a Christian who is happy, relaxed, enjoying life. A man who knows how to switch off from work, how to enjoy himself and that is all because of you. Whether you believe it or not, the man loves you. With everything he has, you are the first person other than his sister he has ever cared about.” He explained.

Ana shivered, wrapping Christian’s jacket around her tighter. It smelt like him, comforting her. “I’m in trouble, bad trouble. I can’t let him get wrapped up in that. He has been through enough.”

Elliot softened towards her instantly, “Damn you two, doing anything to protect the other when all you really need to do is let the other in!”

Ana started to cry, “Not about this, he could never look at me the same.”

He wrapped his arm around his nearly sister in law. “Will you let me tell you about Christian and his past? Then maybe you will tell me your problems and we can fix this before both of you end up six foot under?”

She nodded into his chest, “I need help. I don’t know what to do.”

Elliot led her to the boathouse, knowing it would be empty. Settled her down wrapped in some blankets he found left there. “Okay, so some of this is public record. You know about the court case yes?”

Ana nodded, “Something about he was accused of abusing women, but I don’t see him to be like that. He is too gentle to hurt anyone.”

Elliot laughed, “He is now, he wasn’t pre Ana. I will start with what isn’t in the public eye. Christian was adopted as a small child by Grace, our mom. We all were. All from bad back grounds, his was abuse and starvation. His mother took an overdose, she was …..” He broke off wondering how best to put it, “She entertained men for money. Her pimp used to attack him, put cigarettes out on his flesh. Refuse him food, beat him.”

“The scars.” She said, “I saw he had scars.”

“The ones you can’t see are far worse, and more damaging to him. As a teenager he drank a lot, got into fights, drugs. Then it all stopped, and we thought that his therapy was working. Turns out one of mom’s friends was into BDSM. Do you know what that is?” he blushed.

Ana nodded, “I googled a little, trying to work out things when I saw the newspaper articles.”

He let out a breath, glad he didn’t have to explain his brother’s sex life too much. “Elena brought him into that life at 15. She taught him to channel the anger, but she didn’t keep to the strict rules of the realm so to speak. And he learnt how to abuse, while being abused himself. Which is why when it went to court, they struck him from the witnesses. They realised he had been too damaged by the time spent with her to even know that he had been raped or abused by her.”

Ana looked green again, “He was just a little boy, and she did that to him? Fucking bitch!”

“She did it to dozens of underage boys. She’s in prison now, but Chris. He couldn’t deal with everything the court case brought up. He walked out on his family, started drinking again. Abandioning work, no one could reach him.”

Ana nodded slowly starting to understand, “When did that stop? When did he become the sweet loving man I know?”

“When he met you, when you saved him from being mugged. The man you fell in love with, is the man you made him become. The man we have waited his whole life to meet. He needs you.”

Ana wiped her damp eyes, “He wouldn’t want me now, I’m not ‘his’ anymore.”

Elliot’s mouth dropped open, as he pierced together the comment and her throwing up. “You slept with someone, you got knocked up by someone? You just broke up!”

“It’s not like that!” she shouted, “I love Christian, I would never cheat on him!”

“What do you call fucking someone as soon as you break up then?”

“Rape, I call it fucking rape!” she shouted, “Rape over and over again and I could do nothing to stop him! Believe me I tried! I begged for my life. I begged him to stop. I promised him everything, anything. All I wanted was to get back to Christian!”


	21. Chapter 21

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 21

Elliot stood there floored by her exclamation, she had been raped? Christian would kill the man. Hell, he would kill the man himself screw waiting for Christian! A sweet young girl like this didn’t deserve that. All he could think was, what if it had been Mia? He pulled Ana into his arms, holding her tightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. He doesn’t know. Damn it Ana, we would have been there for you. We all would have been. You don’t have to go through this alone!”

“I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want to think about it.” she sobbed, “The police are doing practically nothing. They even told me I was lucky that I was just pregnant, and I didn’t have AIDS. Like I am some sort of whore, like I asked for this to happen!”

“No one deserves rape, no one.” He said firmly, “Come up to the house. My father is a lawyer. We will get this made right.” He put his arm around her, guiding her up there. Texting Christian as he went. Get the hell back here, Ana needs you. SOS! I’m not joking. E

He escorted her carefully, up a back route where they wouldn’t see anyone. Into the library, his mother gave them an odd look but asked no questions after she saw how upset Ana was. She just fetched a bottle of wine and glasses, and a change of clothes from Mia’s wardrobe. “Bathroom is there, get changed and we will talk.” Elliot promised, “I will grab my father and come back. Don’t run.”

Ana did as she was told, grateful to be able to wash her face. Changing into the jeans and loose sweater that had been left for her. Mia was taller than she was, so she had to roll the bottoms of the jeans up, but all in all they were a fair fit. Better than the now rather dirty ball gown. Puling Christian’s jacket back over the top, she felt calmer than she had in weeks. Ever since the whole crazy business had started, since she had walked out of Grey’s life.

When she came back, Elliot, Grace and another man were waiting for her. “I’m Carrick, a lawyer. My son says you are in a little trouble.”

“Do you know about Hyde? The former boss of Grey Publishing?” she asked, taking the seat and the cup of herbal tea she was offered. The steady warmth of the cup helping her to calm a little.

“He got fired, and Grey Enterprises is suing him with the past cases I believe?” Carrick answered. “I saw some of the paperwork, but it isn’t my case. I just looked over a few parts that Christian asked me to.”

“He was angry when you told him what had happened there, and did some digging. Found a string of women that Hyde had assaulted or tried to. He won’t stand for that at his company.” Elliot answered.

“Hyde blamed me for being found out, because I told Christian what had happened. I mean I didn’t know who he was, I was just talking to a friend. It all got so complex. Next I know he is following me all the time. Hyde I mean, not your son. And he is sending me threats and then…” she broke off in tears.

Grace came to sit with her, hugging her tightly. “Don’t worry, Carrick will take on the case for you. Won’t you dear?”

He already had his phone out, “Let me get the case details, all the police work and we will talk about all of this. When you are a little calmer I will take a full statement and we can go from there.”

Ana looked uncomfortable, “Its very kind to offer, but I’m pretty sure that I can’t afford you.”

He glared back at her, “You are family, we take care of our own.”

Ana looked at the floor, “Thank you.”

“No thanks between family, just take care of my son.” He said leaving to make the needed calls.

Elliot snuck a peek at his phone, why wasn’t Grey answering? He text again. Damn you Chris, Ana is in tears up here. You need to get here, NOW! I am not joking. Do you want me to send you a pic of her crying as proof? That was when an email dropped into his inbox. Why would Christian want to email him? He flipped it open, his face turning ashen as he read it. Seconds later his phone rang, Taylor. “What the hell?”

“Mr Grey has had a little down turn since the party. We need you here, Flynn is already on route.”

“Taylor he just sent me a god adman suicide note, level with me now! I’m putting you on loud speaker.” Elliot snapped, turning it so Grace and Ana could hear as well who were watching in fear already.

“Mr Grey got home, and decided to lock himself in his office. I understand he has a supply of pills in there as well as alcohol. The email you received has also been sent to myself, as well as other key members of the business. It seems he was distressed after seeing Ana.” 

“Why can’t you break in?” Ana asked.

“Oh, hello Miss Steele. The office is designed to be a panic room, once it is locked from the inside there is no way inside. Not unless Mr Grey opens the door himself. We have contacted the designers looking for a flaw in the system. As yet we haven’t found anything. We are hoping that Flynn will be able to talk him down.”

“Fuck Flynn, you tell that asshole I will be there in ten minutes and he better pull no shit before I get there.” Ana snapped, putting down the cup to gather her things.

“As will I, get Carrick as well.” Grace said, “I will fetch my bag.”

“She’s a doctor.” Elliot explained to a confused Ana.

“I don’t care if she is God herself, I need to get a cab.” She hunted through her bag for her phone. Only to find her own message from Christian as she did.

Ana,

I am so sorry that I brought you into my fucked up life. I should have known that I could only bring you pain like I have everyone my whole life. I wish that I had walked away, that I had never asked you to dinner. I wish that you had never found me being mugged. At least if they had killed me in that alleyway, I could never have caused you those tears. I hate that I made you cry, I only ever wanted to make you happy. Marry you, give you everything you could ever possibly want. Every tear I see on your face is like a bullet to the chest for me. 

I am leaving you enough money that I hope you can start again with someone else. Forget about me, live a happy life. The apartment that we spent so much time in, that is yours as well. It isn’t much, but you could always sell it and find somewhere you like more. Grey Publishing is yours, I signed the paperwork last night. I know it is your dream, and dreams should always be followed whatever the cost. Whatever it takes to make you happy just please do that.

I thank you for the time we spent together. You made me feel things I never thought were possible. You gave me a home, a real one. Showed me what it was to be a man, not just a monster. 

I will always love you my Ana.

I love you.

CG.

She punched his number, trying to get to him before it was too late. Disconnected. She sent him an email, it bounced straight back to her. “When I’m finished with him he won’t need to commit suicide. I will have fucking killed him myself.” She muttered.

Elliot smiled, “I see why he likes you so much. Only you stand up to him. Come on, my car is here. We need to get to him.”


	22. Chapter 22

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 22

Christian Grey CEO, wow what a title. What a waste of a life. All the things he could have done with this existence instead of working his ass off to be one of the fortune 500. What was money when you didn’t have love? That was the only thing that mattered, the rest was just frosting on the cake of life. If only he had done things differently, met Ana another way at a different time. Maybe then they would be married, happy together. Not broken, hating each other.

He locked himself in his study, looking over the old messages she had sent him. The ones when they were in love, the photos from their hike and the dates they had been on. He had turned them into a screensaver for his home computer. Watching as they flickered from one to the next, her smiling happy face taunting him knowing he would never see her like that again. She was lost to him, forever now. He had blown his only chance of living a normal life, a happy life. He knew now he would never be anything other than the CEO, the monster, the freak that no one liked. And with that realisation he was exhausted.

He couldn’t keep the fight up anymore, there was no point to it. Better to go out now, before the whole world turned against him. He had been setting things up for months before he had even met Ana. Where his company funds would go, how he would tie up all the loose ends. It was all set in a simple programme on his computer. One click and it would transfer everything it needed to. Send out his farewells, and give the people he cared for a fresh start in life away from his taint. The only person who he had added to the list recently was Ana. He needed to make sure she was taken care of, as much as his family and friends. Even Flynn had his own pot of money to be transferred over. A thank you for all those years of trying to resolve Grey’s issues, even though it wasn’t possible to save someone as far gone as he was. Flynn had always tried, never moaning about it, always doing his professional and personal best. 

Christian took the pills from his drawer, as well as the last bottle of whisky. He really should have restocked it before he had locked himself in here. He hadn’t wanted to give Taylor a chance to work out what was wrong or to stop him. His shirt was already rubbing painfully on the cuts on his upper arms from a few days before. When Taylor had walked in on him, and swiftly disarmed him. Before cleaning the wounds, never saying a word the whole time he did so. 

He drank straight from the bottle not seeing the point in wasting time looking for a glass. He was steaming already, just wanted this pain to end. He took the first bottle of pills between swigs of drink as he checked over the lines of script that would move his funds where it should go. They looked okay, but he wasn’t entirely sure they were. The screen swimming in front of him didn’t really help matters. In the end it didn’t really matter if the changes took or not, they were all outlined in his will. It was just quicker if he did it himself. He slammed the button that would send out his apologies and goodbyes. Turning the computer off as soon as he had, he didn’t need it. Didn’t want to see the replies telling him they were glad he was going to die. His phone was broken, he had hurled it from the car on the way back. He had no need of it anymore, not where he was going.

He sat on the floor, leaning against the wall as he took the rest of the pills. Cuddling Ana’s bear as he did. She had given him the best moments of his whole life, because of her he knew exactly what he was giving up. At least he had experienced all that joy for a few moments. Oh crap, he had only locked the door not flipped the lockdown. Taylor could still pick the lock. 

Christian staggered up, and pressed the button under his desk. Turning his office into the safe room he had built. He had never even quite worked out why he had wanted one installed. Flynn had hinted that he was looking for a ‘safe space’ after all those years of chaos in his youth. Maybe so, but tonight it was a damn good thing he had it. No one to disturb him, to try to stop him. He could just sleep, forever. Sleep seemed so damn good right now, he was so very tired of everything.

He was woken from a doze by someone knocking on the door. “Christian, will you come and talk to me please.”

He sighed, Flynn of course they would call him. “Go away.” He moaned.

Flynn knocked again, “Come on Christian, remember what I said about feelings. Find one and explain to me why you think it is better for you to do this.”

“Because she doesn’t want me, no one does!”

“That’s it Christian, keep talking. Tell me how you feel.”

“Tired.” It was too inbred into him from thousands of sessions to ignore the line of questioning. 

“Did you take something?” the doctor asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you know what it was?” Christian didn’t answer, clearly too complex a question for his frazzled mind. “How much did you take?”

Grey groaned, “Not enough if you are still here bothering me, let me go. I just want to sleep.”

“Ana is on her way here, did you know that? She messaged you.” Flynn insisted.

“Bullshit, she hates me.”

“She was worried to death when you messaged, she will be here in a few minutes. Don’t you want to live to be with her? She loves you.” He pressed.

Grey sighed, “If only she did. I have a ring you know, I was going to ask her on her birthday. A beautiful one, blue like her eyes, the most beautiful thing I ever saw.”

“Good, you two are a wonderful couple.”

“We were once, I wish I’d never fucking lied to her. I wish when she had spoke about Grey that first time, I had levelled with her. Told her who I was and offered to help her.” He sighed, searching around for the nearly empty bottle for another drink.

“You still could. You just need to talk to her about all of this.” Flynn insisted.

Christian went quiet again, half dozing against the wall. “I miss her.” He mumbled to himself. He really was so tired, he wished that they would all just stop bothering him. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours in a drunken stupor since she left.

“Christian, open the door. Let us in.” Flynn insisted.

More banging, he groaned and tried to ignore it. And then, there was something he never expected to hear. A very loud, very angry voice.

“Christian fucking moron thinks everyone hates him when actually they are completely in love with him and his amazing smile Grey, open this fucking door before I break it down. I swear to god if you kill yourself I will make you suffer a fate worse than death for all eternity!!”

Grey’s eyes slammed open, “ANA!”

“Open the fucking door Christian, right now!” she swore, “Or so help me!”

Christian staggered over hitting the switch to send the room out of lock down.


	23. Chapter 23

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 23

Ana shoved everyone out of the way when they got to Escala, she had to get to Christian. Flynn was there, sitting by the door talking to him through it. Gail off to the side crying, as Taylor and two men she didn’t know were trying to break into the security system. Elliot, Grace and Carrick were behind her, but she had no time to care about them. All she could focus on was Grey’s exhausted slurring voice. They didn’t have long. She listened to Flynn talking about her, as he pulled her down beside him. “He will be okay.” He promised, although she was sure that he had no idea if that was true or not. 

Over and over he asked Christian to open the door, as the man on the other side sounded like he was passing out. Her chest tightened, this was her fault. If she hadn’t snapped at him during the party, if this disgusting growth inside of her hadn’t been making her throw up. Then maybe they wouldn’t be sat here right now trying to save the life of the man she loved. She sat impatiently while Flynn, and then Grace begged him to open the door. Carrick working with security trying to over ride the door locks. The answers had stopped now, was he asleep was he dead?

Something inside of Ana snapped as she found herself standing. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do, but she was starting to work it out. “Christian wasn’t just a Dom was he?” she asked his brother quietly.

“No, he used to be a sub for Elena as well. Why?” Elliot asked.

“A sub always obeys the orders of his mistress or master right?” she asked.

Elliot thought a moment, “I think so, this is his thing not mine.”

Anna nodded slowly, “He called me mistress every time I asked him to do something. Probably a joke, but still is it worth?”

A smile spread on Elliot’s face, “Go for it.”

Ana took a moment to calm her shaking. She had no idea how to do this, but she brought up images of her father barking out orders to new recruits. Closing her eyes, trying to pitch exactly the same tone as he used to use. Hr voice projecting across and drowning out the others in the room, as she barked her best effort of a Dom mistress's order. “Christian fucking moron thinks everyone hates him when actually they are completely in love with him and his amazing smile Grey, open this fucking door before I break it down. I swear to god if you kill yourself I will make you suffer a fate worse than death for all eternity!!” 

Holy crap he answered her, he actually answered. All eyes in the room turned to her, “Keep going please.” Grace asked gently.

“He always answers you, even when he is in a complete spiral, you snap him out of it. I saw it before once at the office.” Flynn said quietly. 

Ana wasn’t sure if she could do it again, but she had no choice. Elliot’s arm around her shoulders trying to comfort her. Even though she was fighting back tears she tried again. “Open the fucking door Christian, right now! Or so help me!”

Seconds passed, everyone was holding their breath. Then the door unlocked, Ana was through it in a second. Finding Christian on the floor by his desk, she slammed down to his side. “Christian, talk to me.”

His eyes fluttered open, “My Ana, my angel.” He reached out to stroke her face.

“Yes Christian, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, never again.” She promised.

“Don’t cry baby, it will all be better soon.” He mumbled.

“Christian, what did you take? We need to know?” Grace asked, kneeling next to them with her doctor’s bag. Carrick passing her things quietly that she needed. 

“Nothing.” He mumbled, cuddling into Ana’s chest sleepily.

Ana kissed his cheek, “Wake up baby. You need to talk to us.”

“This is a nice dream, I can die like this. With you all here at last, like you really do love me. That was all I ever wanted.” He yawned.

Grace started checking him over as best she could around Ana holding him. “He seems to be normal, where are those pill pots?”

Taylor brought them over to her looking pleased with himself, “Sugar pills, I traded them a few weeks ago. Looks like Mr Grey never noticed, or bought more.”

The collective sigh of relief in the room was a thrilling sound. “So he is just drunk?” Elliot asked.

“Just drunk, he has been drinking for days.” Taylor confirmed.

Carrick excused himself once he knew that his son was going to be fine, he needed to work on a way to make sure he couldn’t lock himself in here again.

Grace checked him over one last time satisfying herself that her little boy was actually okay, “Thank you Ana.” She said quietly, “We had better let him sleep it off and deal with it when he wakes.”

“Do you want me to set up a guest room?” Taylor asked.

“No, I and Carrick should be getting back. If I stay I will rip his head off.” Grace said quietly.

Carrick nodded his tired agreement, “Thank you Ana, keep an eye on him.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Elliot asked.

Ana nodded, “Please. I don’t want to talk to him alone tomorrow.”

He nodded, “Come on, lets get this stinky drunk to bed.” He and Taylor lifted him gently from Ana’s arms to carry him upstairs. Leaving her alone with Flynn as the other staff vanished back to their rooms. 

“Would you like some food Ana?” Gail asked wiping her eyes.

“I don’t think I could eat, but thank you.” She replied.

“Well, plenty of food in the fridge if you change your mind. Not like he has been eating anything lately.”

And then there were two, Flynn sat down by the shaking Ana. “Are you okay?”

She laughed, “Oh yeah just peachy thank you.”

Flynn handed her his card, “If you need anything please call me, if I can help I will.”

“I don’t listen to over paid quacks, thank you. Seen enough of your kind over the years to know all you ever do to a person is empty their bank account.” She snapped.

He smiled, “Yes, I see why Grey likes you. Goodnight Miss Steele.”

Elliot came back down to get Ana. “He is in bed, changed and washed as best we can. He isn’t quite asleep yet, but not far off probably will be by time we go back up. Do you want to see him?”

Ana let him pull her up, and lead her upstairs. She looked at the man she loved laying there half asleep her heart breaking. Standing at the door with his brother for so long she found herself yawning as he held her. “E, what is he gonna say when he finds out about Hyde and the baby?”

“I really don’t know, but give him the chance to tell you. Don’t run from him. You both need to talk about this.” He told her, “Now, there’s a guest room across from here. I will leave that for you, I will use the one down the hall. If you need anything, come and get me. Clothes wise, steal some of Christian’s and tomorrow I will get you some more of my sisters or fetch some from your flat, whichever you need.” He kissed her hair.

“Get the hell off my girlfriend Elliot!” Grey snapped, “I will break every bone in your fucking body.”

“Hey man, she is all yours.” Elliot laughed, they hadn’t realised he was still aware. “Good luck girl, he won’t stay awake long.”

No, he wouldn’t. He was already falling back to sleep. Ana came to sit next to him. “Hey baby.”

“Am I dreaming?” he asked.

“No, I’m here. I’m sorry, for everything.” 

“Hey, why are you crying?” he asked, wiping her tears.

“I nearly lost you, stupid! Did you really think that I wouldn’t care if you died?” she exclaimed.

“I didn’t think anyone would.” He admitted quietly, before nervously coming to kiss her.

Ana closed her eyes pulling him closer to her, deepening the kiss. “Don’t ever scare me again.”

Grey rested his head on her shoulder, “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Right now, you need to sleep off everything you drank.” She insisted.

“I know I’m really tired. I just don’t want to wake up and you are gone again.”

“Then lay down, and I will stay with you tonight.” She promised.

“You would? Even though we are fighting?” he asked.

“I love you stupid, of course I would.” She pushed him down onto the bed, “Rest now.”

Christian gave in, “Take one of my shirts to sleep in.”

Ana did as he suggested, by the time she had come back from the bathroom wearing his boxers and shirt he was already asleep. She slid under the covers cuddling up to him, at least they had a moment before the world went to shit again tomorrow. Even if it was only a single moment.


	24. Chapter 24

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 24

Christian was warm and comfortable for once. Relaxed in a weird sort of way, even though his head was pounding in an annoying fashion. Blearily he opened his eyes, glancing around at the late afternoon sun form the window. Crap. He had failed to kill himself yet again. A soul destroying depression settling on him, at another failure. Of course Christian Grey was a screw up, he couldn’t even kill himself properly! He wondered how Taylor had got into the panic room. It shouldn’t have been possible. He should have done enough that this time, he would be freed from his agony. Flopping back down onto the pillow, he had to fight back tears of exhaustion and frustration. Why did he have to keep on existing without her?

His dreams had been wonderful, his family had been there. Ana had been there, telling him how much she loved him. He remembered thinking he had fallen asleep in her arms. A beautiful dream, if only he could have stayed there instead of coming back to reality. At least then he could have had Ana with him one last time.

Ana.

If only she was here, she could make this all better for them both. He wished so much that he could just talk to her, hold her in his arms one last time. Try to fix everything that was going on between them. He needed her so badly, more than he could even put into words. He couldn’t even explain to Flynn why her presence was so important to him. He only knew that when she was around him, he felt safe, needed, loved, important, like he had a real family. That he deserved their love. With her there, he had hoped to win back his families love. Or at least try to.

Tears filling his eyes, he tried to choke back his emotions. Until he found himself pulled into a beautiful, half naked woman’s arms, as she comforted him. He rolled over staring at the vision of perfection in front of him. Dark hair, deep blue eyes, too thin, yet breath taking. “Ana?” he asked quietly, “Am I dreaming?”

She kissed him, “No, I’m here.”

He stared at her, running his hands along her back trying to reassure himself that she really was here and not some figment of his drunken imagination. “But last night?” he asked.

“We got to you in time.” She promised, “We all came. Your whole family, me, Flynn and your staff.”

“But none of you love me.” He commented.

Ana reached a hand down behind him and slapped his behind hard twice. “Shut your mouth, we all love you.”

Christian was shocked, how dare she touch him so! Then slowly the night before came back to him, including her threats. “You dominated me?” he exclaimed in horror, “You actually dared to do that to me!”

“Christian, if you don’t shut your mouth. I will hunt out whatever BDSM pain prison you have somewhere hidden away. Find the nastiest, harshest piece of equipment and beat you around the head with it until you start seeing sense. You scared the fucking hell out of me last night!” she snapped.

Grey mused it over a few moments, “My cat would be one of the most painful ways, however with an unskilled hand you could do permanent harm. I would have to teach you the right flicks of the wrist to make sure you didn’t cleave down to the bone. That would take time. A belt buckle is extremely painful, but again awkward for a first timer to learn the correct usage as well as the fact your weaker female nature wouldn’t be as damaging as a man welding the same object. As a beginner, with only a small amount of weight to throw behind the object I would suggest caning. As supple as possible, the added bounce will gain harsher marks. Anything from a few welds on the skin, to deep bleeding gashes depending on the severity of the bows issued. I have a selection you could choose from.”

“Grey, shut the fuck up and kiss me.” Ana snapped not sure if she should be shocked or worried at his admission. “I don’t want to be your Dom, I want to be your wife.”

“Wife?” he said in a squeak.

“Not for a long time yet.” She promised, giving up and pulling his head down for a passionate kiss herself.

Christian settled her against his chest, breathing her in. “We need to talk about so much.”

“I know we do.”

“Can we wait? Can we just have a little more of this?” he asked desperately.

“Yes.” She breathed, nuzzling her face against his bare chest.

Christian hugged her tightly, not wanting to ever let her go. “Can we fix this?” he asked.

Ana sighed, “I really don’t know. I have so much I have to tell you, I don’t know how you will react. Probably hate me forever.”

“I could never hate you.” He promised, kissing her hair. 

“I hope.” She mumbled.

“Hey, princess shh now, I love you.” He promised, kissing her again, “I will always love you.”

“I love you too.” She promised.

“Shower with me?” he offered.

Ana tensed, thinking about the remaining bruises on her body she couldn’t bare if he saw. She had spent hours covering them with make up for the Gala, but that had all worn off since. The purpling, yellow marks still dotting her upper body and arms enough that he would demand to know what had happened. “I can’t, I’m sorry.” 

He looked confused, “But you like me don’t you?”

“I do, such much. Please just don’t ask me yet.” She begged.

He would have said something else, but her phone ringing cut through the conversation. She dug for her bag, checking the id. “Shit.” She muttered, moving to the other side of the room to answer it. Listening for a few moments, “Okay, I will be right there.”

Christian’s anger hit with those six little words. “I have waited two fucking months to see you, and the second we get together to sort things out. You run out the fucking door?” he snapped, “Who the hell is he? Your new boyfriend? An old lover? Did you wait a single fucking day before fucking someone else? Were you even a virgin when we met?” 

Ana looked at him silently, trying to collect her thoughts. Slipping the phone back into her bag, before fetching the borrowed clothes and her heels from the Gala that she still had to wear.

“Fucking tell me? Who is he?” Grey demanded.

“It’s not a he and it’s not like that. I can’t explain, but I will later. I promise, I have to go. Its important.” She begged.

“More important than me, than us?” he demanded.

Ana’s face fell, “Yes.”

“Get out just get out you fucking whore.” He snapped.

Ana fled, nearly banging into Elliot as she went. He had come to investigate the shouting. “Ana, stay please. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Let her go E, she has other men to fuck.” He snapped.

Ana shoved passed him, down the corridor. Elliot slammed into Grey’s bedroom. “What the hell man? She has been here all night for you, and you call her a whore?”

“Only a whore runs out on a phone call when she is meant to be fixing things with her husband!” he shouted, smashing his fist into a wall. “I trusted her!”

“Chris, stop it! If it’s what I think it is, it’s very much not what you think!” E tried to calm him.

“Oh really and what was it then?” Christian exclaimed, “A little tryst with a fortune 500 man? Another little gold digger slut!”

“Chris man, if I didn’t love you I would punch you. Hyde raped her.”

That stopped Christian in his tracks, “He did what?”

“Hyde, raped her because she got him fired.” He said painfully calmly.

“I will kill him.” Grey said so painfully coldly.

“I will kill you if you don’t fix with Ana, she is terrified of you finding out and calling her a whore for sleeping around. Oh, but you did that already. Go team Christian!” he snapped, “She was waiting for you to wake up to tell you, that’s why I stayed! She didn’t want to be alone in case you got upset. She is scared of you. Is that any way to treat who you love? Make them fear you? Do you want to be like Elena?”

That one struck home, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say it to me, say it to her! If you can even find her after this bullshit you just pulled. She would have come back to you days after the row if she wasn’t so scared of you and how you react.” Elliot said firmly,”And ring your parents, they were worried sick last night the shit you pulled. Be glad Taylor swapped your pills or you would be dead.”


	25. Chapter 25

Returning a Kindness  
C25

Ana hated her life right now, any chance she had for happiness was snatched from her. Like she didn’t deserve it, well not like people hadn’t told her that her whole life! Starting with her mother and step father’s other than Ray, and then the bullies at school, the ones at work talking behind her back. Or that so called best friend (Kate) who slept with Ana’s boyfriend, and blamed it on the liquor. Yeah right, because that excuses cheating on your best friend. Of course! They had never spoken again after that night, and Ana had left the apartment to move in with Jose and his boyfriend until she could get back on her feet. Kate had been in touch a few times, but she ignored her every time. She would never forgive, not when Kate said it was her fault for not ‘putting out’ to Todd.

She couldn’t bring herself to hate Christian for his words, they were right. She was a whore, she did deserve his wrath. She should have fought harder, tried more to get away. Even if she had been bound, that was no excuse. She should have kept fighting. Found a way to stop him before she had ended up pregnant. Grey had no reason to want her now, she was damaged goods. She had given him her everything, and now she was nothing but dirty. 

That is why she had to leave him, the hospital had rung. The results she had waited weeks for where finally ready. She would finally find out who was the father. Although she knew who it had to be already, Christian always used protection. Hyde just did as he pleased. So the chances of it not being that monster’s baby were more than a billion to one or something equally daft. Hence the constant drinking, she wanted the disgusting growth gone. Dead, buried, she couldn’t even try to get her head around raising a child that had been born form such a violent act. As soon as she found out for sure, she would book an appointment to abort the child. If she couldn’t kill it with alcohol first! Whatever would work.

That was how Ana was sat at a bar near her work, drinking god knows what looking at the letter from the hospital. Trying to find the courage to open it and ruin her life forever. Until she opened that envelope she could hold on to the tiniest little piece of hope that it was Christian’s and that he might forgive her. Want something to do with his child even though she had been tainted by another man. She couldn’t do this alone, but she hadn’t had anyone to call. Elliot would be with Christian, Carrick she would meet later for the statement, but she didn’t want to wait that long.

So overpaid quack or not, she had been forced to phone Flynn. Which was who she was sat here waiting for as she steadily found herself moving towards drunk as the strong drink hit her system minus food. She hadn’t been able to face the thought of it, not with this hanging over her head.

Flynn finally walked in, coming over to her. “I’m glad you called Ana.”

She put the letter on the table unopened, “That’s it.”

“Have you told Christian yet?” 

She shook her head, “He freaked out enough that I couldn’t stay earlier. He hates me.”

“I think he just doesn’t understand, so his fears come to the forefront. Like being cheated on.” Flynn suggested.

“I did cheat.” Ana sighed.

“Rape isn’t a cheat, it is a violent forced act that you can not hope to control.” He assured her. 

“I wish it felt that way.” 

Flynn picked up the letter, “Would you like me to read it?”

She nodded, “I don’t think I am strong enough.”

Slowly he pulled the envelope open, reading what was inside. Even he didn’t want to know what the results were right now, but it was his job and Ana had offered him a good fee for coming out. One he would never accept. “I’m sorry Ana.” He said quietly.

Ana downed the rest of her drink in one not even able to look at him. “I knew.”

“What will you do?” he asked.

“Get rid, it’s the only option.”

“I’m sure there are many, if you take a little time to mull them over.” He assured her, “Christian will understand in time.”

“I don’t have time.” She snapped, “I have a court case coming up, one I need to testify in. I can’t accept this thing inside of me as well.”

“Come to a few more sessions with me first, make sure this isn’t a rash decision.” He asked, “Tonight I will be there while you give your statement. I need to submit my evaluation of your victim testimony. Carrick and I will do everything we can to gain you justice.”

They talked for a little while longer, before Flynn dropped her off at Grey Publishing so she could catch up on a few things there before bed. She had hoped that everyone would be gone given the late hour, but Hannah was still there putting the finishing touches on the manuscripts going out in the morning. “Hey Ana, did you see the latest news? Looks like your CG is having a mental breakdown, rumours are he smashed up his office in front of the whole team.”

“Hannah, Christian Grey is your boss. I suggest you show more professionalism in your comments towards him.” Ana snapped, she really wasn’t in the mood. Stacking manuscripts up to take home with her to try and catch up on the work. 

“Oh come on, you know he is a total emotional wreck. Otherwise he wouldn’t be in the papers every other day. Give me the skinny, you have slept with him right?” she asked.

“Hannah, enough!” Ana bellowed, “I have warned you time and time again to not talk about Mr Grey like that.”

“Oh please, like you don’t know its all true. I bet he is the one who gave you those bruises. He likes it rough on brunettes.” She laughed.

For the first time in a long time, Ana lost her temper. Before she even knew about it, she had slapped the girl hard. “Get out, clear out your desk. Don’t come back, don’t expect a reference or your final cheque. Be thankful if I don’t sue you for slander and deformation of character as well as breach of your NSA.” Ana screamed.

“You can’t fire me, you are nothing.” Hannah retorted.

“I am Anastasia Steele, Editor of Grey Publishing and right now the most important person in this company. So get the hell out of my offices before I throw you out! You have five minutes!” she slammed her office door, not caring if the girl left or not. Grabbing the phone, she dialled security. “Make sure Miss Hannah Watson’s desk is cleared, and that she is removed from the building straight away.” Slamming it back down without waiting for an answer, if this was what it was like to be Christian Grey so be it! No one would slag off the man she loved in front of her!

She leaned on the desk in front of her, taking long calming breaths trying to settle her stomach before she threw up yet again. Arms came around her waist holding her tightly, she didn’t need to look. She knew that aftershave, that wonderful smell as we as she knew those strong arms. “Christian.” She sighed as he kissed down her neck.

“Thank you for sticking up for me.” 

“She deserved to be fired, she has been walking a fine line far too long. I won’t have it.”

“So cute.” He commented, kissing the back of her neck. Revelling in her moan at the unexpected touch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know about Hyde.” He whispered in her ear, “I would never have said anything if I had. Why didn’t you come to me as soon as it happened?”

She snuggled back in his arms, “I didn’t know how you would take it, I was scared you would leave me.”

The kisses turned to soft nibbles, “It isn’t your fault, it is his and he will pay.” He promised, “When did it happen?”

“Three days after I walked out your office.” She admitted.

Christian’s intake of breath was sharp, almost painful as he processed that. “No wonder you never answered me.”

“If you would have looked at me, you would have known something was wrong and I didn’t want you to see me how he left me.” She bit her lip to hold back the tears. 

“What did he do to you?” he asked.

Ana shook her head, “I can’t.”

“I need to know baby, I won’t judge you. I can’t, not after what Elena did to me.” He promised, “I know that rape is never your fault. They are the sick, fucked up weirdoes. We just have to deal with the damage left behind.”

“I have to tell Carrick everything later, make some victim statement would you come listen? It would be easier than having to tell it twice.” She offered.

“I will be there angel, I love you.” He promised, he stroked her stomach, “Would you like to eat first?”

Ana groaned, “No.”

He looked at her concerned, “Still feeling poorly?” he asked.

“Just food poisoning.” She covered quickly, clearly Elliot hadn’t told him everything.

“Let me get you some tea.” He promised.

Ana couldn’t be more grateful when he left, she couldn’t hold it back any longer. Diving into the bathroom, she threw up. Resting her head against the cool wall afterwards, hoping she could get back into her office before he noticed she was gone. She wasn’t that luck, he had come back when he heard her running and was watching her right now. A glimpse of recognition in his eyes watching her, “Is it mine?” he asked quietly.

That was enough to send her into fits of sobbing, as he came in to hold her tightly. “Shh baby, its okay. Everything will be okay.” He promised.

“How can you say that? I let him impregnate me.” She sobbed.

“It isn’t your fault.” He promised, “Hell, I wasn’t expecting to be a father yet, but if you want me to. I would be honoured to help you raise your child even if it isn’t mine.”

“I can’t keep it Christian, I can’t spend every day of her life looking at her. Remembering what he did, why she was born. It would kill me.” She confessed.

He held her close, stroking her back as the next wave of sickness hit her. Comforting her. He hadn’t known morning sickness could be so extreme so soon, then again stress was bound to be a factor in her illness. “The choice is yours Miss Steele, I will support you either way. Just take some time, I would love to have a baby with you. Even this one, even how she has started out.”


	26. Chapter 26

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 26

Christian held Ana until she stopped trembling, before cleaning her up and carrying her back to the office placing her on her chair. “We need to get some food into you, it will stop the sickness. Something simple, plain so it doesn’t harm your stomach anymore.”

“Carrick will be here soon, for this statement. I really can’t face eating before that.” She replied, “It’s too painful to even think about talking of the attack.”

Christian sat on the desk, “Show me the bruises?” he asked. 

Ana slowly unbuttoned her borrowed top, pulling it off to show her upper body and arms for the first time since the police had seen them, without her being covered in make up. Old and newer bruises dotted her flesh, some purple, others yellow and green as they were healing slowly. He could pick out hand prints on her arms, where the fingers had pressed tightly holding her. He could still see raw barely healing wounds on her wrists where some form of rope had bound her hands together. His Ana marked by another man for his own sick pleasures. It made him feel ill.

“How did you hide all these?” he asked.

“Make up, and hours of hard work. I’ve been hiding them from work since it happened. I didn’t want anyone to think it was you.” She said quietly.

Christian kissed her, before tracing the bruises to kiss them as well. Across her chest, done her stomach, before starting slowly on her arm. “I would never hurt you.” He promised.

“I know you wouldn’t.” she promised, “My ribs are cracked, be careful.”

His heart clenched, he could feel the anger boiling towards Hyde already. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the witness statement without going out there and killing the man with his bare hands. Turning her wrist over to kiss the cuts on her wrist, taking delight in her slight moan at the action. He knew before they even spoke that they were no longer alone. “What do you want?” he asked.

Ana pulled her shirt back on looking embarrassed as she realised both Flynn and Carrick were here. Both of them seeming amused at the situation they had disturbed. Christian seemed rather pleased with himself, that he had been seen remarking his property as his own. Smirking as they set up the recording devices for the interview, trying to not admit they had seen anything.

“So, Ana. We are here to put on record your official testimony for the courts case.” Carrick told her, “For the official record, present are John Flynn, who is also doing a trauma assessment on Miss Steele, myself and Mr Christian Grey who is standing in as witness and support to the victim. Are you ready to start?”

Ana nodded nervously, bottled water was put out on the table and that was it time to start. Christian took her hand, kissing it trying to calm her. To let her know whatever she said, everything would be fine. 

“When did the problem with Hyde start?” Carrick asked.

“At the first interview, when I lodged a lawsuit against the company for sexual discrimination. He was fired and I started at the job, a few weeks went by without incident. Then I started to get threatening anonymous emails, which then became letters at the office. Which I took to the police.” She answered.

“And did the police respond?”

She bit her lip, “They said it was just a prank.”

“What happened after that?”

“I noticed someone was following me after work. Standing across from my office as I got into my car or standing there when I fetched coffee in the mornings.”

“Did you tell the police?”

“Yes, several times.”

“Did you know who was following you?”

“Yes, it was Hyde. I saw him clearly.” 

“Did you tell the police?”

“Yes, they said it could be coincidence. They would speak to him, and ask him to back off.”

“What happened after that?”

“Hyde cornered me after work, pushed me against my car door and told me that I would resign or he would make sure I was fired.” Ana wiped her eyes, leaning into Grey’s shoulder for a little comfort. He kissed her hair, murmuring that he loved her.

“Did you file an assault charge?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see Hyde again after that?”

“Yes, he still followed me every day. I tried to get a with straining order, but they said there wasn’t enough evidence yet. Nothing to tie him to the letters or threats, one incident wasn’t enough to press charges.”

Christian was digging his nails into his other hand so hard he was almost bleeding. Typical that a young woman went to the police and wasn’t believed! Mia had the same thing when she was 17, the guy would have attacked her if he and Elliot hadn’t scared him off. 

“When did the alleged rape happen?” Carrick asked, “Sorry Ana, I have to phrase it that way.”

She nodded, “Its okay. It happened a week later, I was driving home and my car broke down. I got out the car to see what was wrong, and to call for a tow. Next thing I knew, someone grabbed me from behind and I blacked out. The police told me later I had been drugged, and the car had been tampered with while I was at work.”

“Where were you when you woke?” 

Ana shivered, cuddling closer to Grey. “Ana, its okay you just need to breathe.” He promised.

“I was in a warehouse, I don’t know where. My head hurt, my wrists were bound above my head and attached to a rusty spike in the floor. I was lying on a dirty sheet, I was naked. Hyde was on top of me, kissing my breasts. I fought against him, but I couldn’t get away. My legs were tied and attached to another spike. He told me to shut up, I was a dirty whore now. No one would care of me.” She choked out.

“How many times did he rape you?” Flynn asked.

“I lost count, twenty maybe more.” She said in a whisper, ”If I said no, if I fought against him. He beat me. Used these like vibrators with spikes on them, and pushed them inside me. They hurt so much.”

A low growl came from Christian at this point as he struggled to keep calm for her. Starting to plot every single way he would make this asshole suffer for what he had done. 

“He told me that Christian wouldn’t want a filthy whore. That when he was done with me, he would kill me and leave my body in his office for him to find.” She sobbed.

Grey got up, walking out the room without a word. He wouldn’t take it, not another word. He dialled Taylor, “How did Hyde stalk Ana and kidnap her without our security finding out? How could they see nothing? I told you to protect her!”

“Hyde paid off one of the team, I am dealing with the matter.” Taylor assured him.

“Make sure you do, and make sure it looks like an accident.” Grey snapped, “My Ana got hurt because of him.”

“And Hyde, Sir?”

“Make that look like an accident as well.” He snapped, “No one hurts what is mine.”

“Sir, I assume Ana is to never know?”

“That goes without saying.” Grey retorted turning his phone off. He took a few breaths to try and calm himself, he needed to break something. Preferably Hyde’s skull. He couldn’t let Ana see him this angry, she would run. Not realising that his absence was hurting her more than his anger ever could.


	27. Chapter 27

Author’s Note: Yup still talking about the event.

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 27

Twenty minutes, and a smashed office later Christian snuck back into the room silently. Smiling at Ana, who just glared back at him. Crap! What did I do this time? He wondered. His father didn’t look any happier with him than Ana did. They couldn’t have heard him, he had been three floors up! This being nice thing was complicated! He almost longed for the days pre Ana when he had never cared how he treated people. Instead of feeling guilty he had hurt her.

“How long were you held captive?” Carrick asked.

“I didn’t know at the time, but after I was rescued I found out it had been nearly five days.” Ana answered.

“No one missed you for that amount of time?” he queried.

“I had booked a few days off, a holiday to try and clear my head over things that were happening. Hyde must have found out, because he attacked me the evening I was due to go away.” She said.

Christian pulled out his phone texting Taylor. Hyde had access to Ana’s file at Grey Publishing or he wouldn’t have known she was taking time off. Another little coincidence against them, funny how it all boiled down to staff betraying him. So much for the security screenings they were all meant to go through, and the NSA they had all signed. He would go through the whole company with a fine tooth comb firing all of them if he had to. Anything to keep Ana safe.

Grey Publishing reported a computer attacking attempt two days before Miss Steele was taken. They investigated and found that only personal files had been touched. Nothing affecting the business, before dropping the case.

They didn’t think it was odd that personal files were attacked or think that employees could be in danger?! Christian snapped back.

The firewall has been upgraded to protect all HR files, as well as several members of the HR staff being removed from employment to face charges. A dozen or more files were taken, including yours and Miss Steele’s.

That wasn’t enough, how did he know what else they had found out about Ana. He nudged Carrick to show him the messages. “They even have her home address.” He whispered.

“Text your mother, get her to make up a room.” He suggested “Your houses could be just as compromised.”

Christian sent Taylor a fast message to check all of his homes, and Ana’s for any security issues before slipping back out the room to ring his mother. She wasn’t picking up. That either meant she was at the hospital working, or she hated him as much as he feared. “Mom, I know you hate me, but Ana’s in trouble. Not just the attack or the baby. Hyde stole personal files, mine and hers. Ana needs somewhere safe to stay. Would you please take her in? If not for me, for the baby at least. I know it isn’t mine, but I want it to be. Please Mom.”

Barely a minute after he put the phone down a text came through:

Two guest rooms will be made up by tonight, dinner is at 8pm. Don’t be late. G

Both of them could stay? He could hardly believe his luck, they had barely spoken in months. Now she was taking in his wife to be, and their possible child. This was insane! He sent an email to Ros to remember to book him as many emergency sessions with Flynn as he would allow. 

Back in the room again, the interview was starting to wrap up to a close. Ana looked exhausted. “Hours, I’m not sure how long. It felt like forever.” She said in answer to something he wasn’t quite sure what was. There were times Christian wished he could split himself in two, one to stay here with Ana and another to sort out her life so she would be safe. 

“Did you try to escape when Hyde was absent?” Carrick asked.

Ana nodded, “I screamed as loudly as I could, fought against the ropes. I couldn’t get free. I looked for something to cut them with, but I couldn’t find anything. I couldn’t move at all.” She closed her eyes, shivering at the unpleasant memory. “That last day, he told me when he came back he was going to kill me. That Christian would come home to my body in the lift. I knew I had to escape, I tried everything. That’s how my wrists got so raw. I found pieces of rubble on the floor. Twisting around until I could grab them, and attempt to throw them at the window to break it. Or at least make enough sound that someone would come.”

She stopped lost in the memory, Christian sat next to her taking her into his arms. She tensed, clearly not wanting to be there after he had walked out on her so many times during the interview. “Keep going baby, just a little more.” He promised.

Ana climbed out of his lap, ignoring the hurt look on his face as she left. “There were some homeless kids, they found me tied up. They got me out and fetched the police. Without them I would be dead.”

“Thank you Ana, I have all I need. Unless you need anything else, John?” Carrick asked.

“No, I think Ana deserves a hot meal, a bath and some rest.” Flynn promised. “Ana, let me take you down to the car. Grace would like you to come stay with her for a few days, so we know you are safe.”

“I can do that.” Christian offered.

Ana’s dark eyes burning at him, “I’d rather Flynn did, he doesn’t walk out on me.”

Christian looked after her and sighed. “I just didn’t want you to see me angry.” He muttered to her retreating back.

Carrick shook his head at him. “Son, when are you going to understand that people don’t want you to hide how you are feeling? People would rather you were honest with them.”

“I didn’t want to scare her.” He defended, “Not after what Hyde did!”

“Christian, walking out that door when she was pouring her heart out must be the single most stupid thing you have done in your entire life. She would have more easily forgiven you if you had cheated on her. That girl has been through hell, with and without you. Now you just need to decide if she is worth fighting for. I don’t mean expensive gifts and weak ass apologies. I mean really fight for her, because if you don’t. You will lose her and that baby.” Carrick said firmly, “She already wants an abortion, she has an appointment set up for it.”

“She is stubborn, I keep telling her we can raise the baby together. I don’t know what else to do.” Christian exclaimed, “She is my first girlfriend! Jesus Christ, you covered the birds and the bees when I was at school, but you never told me what the hell to do with a crying woman! Or how to comfort one! I would rather face a boardroom full of hostile investors then that woman when she hates me.”

Carrick laughed, “Welcome to being an adult son. None of us understand women, we just do our best. Do as they tell us, apologise even if we don’t know what it is for. And if all else fails, throw chocolate at them and retreat until they calm down.”

“Fighting is normal?” Grey asked surprised.

“If you don’t fight, then there is nothing worth fighting for.” He explained, “Love is complicated. Give it some time, you will learn what she likes and more importantly. What she doesn’t like. She will teach you, if you let her. If she doesn’t kill you first.”

“But how do I get her to talk to me?” he begged.

“Ask your mother.” He offered, “She always helps Elliot fix with his girlfriends. Now, come home for dinner.”

“You really want me there?” Christian asked.

“You were always welcome there, you just thought you weren’t.” he reassured him, “The court case was hell on all of us, but you never stopped being our son.” 

Christian did something his father had never experienced in all these years, surprising him as he came into his father’s arms for a hug. “Thanks Dad.”


	28. Chapter 28

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 28

Grace looked Christian over as he came in the front door with her husband, he looked as terrible as she expected. Tired from the weight of the world on his shoulders, too tired to even hide how exhausted he was. She nodded to him as he came in, “You know where your old room is. You should freshen up before dinner. Ana is in the blue guest room if you need her. I ran her a bath, she will be fine.”

“Thanks mom, I am grateful for everything you are doing for her.” He promised, kissing his mother’s cheek. “I love you mom, you know that right?”

Her face softened, “I love you too, now get that rug off your face before dinner.”

Christian ran up the stairs into his old room, still full of the posters he had put up just before college. His old homework, and trophies from the few times he had managed to compete at gymnastics until Elena had stopped him. Grace hadn’t touched a thing, only dusted and changed the sheets. 18 years he had lived in this small room, happily enough. It felt strange to be back, but in a good way. Lying down on his bed for a few moments taking it all in.

The last time he had been in this room was the day he had told Elena that he couldn’t be her sub anymore. Days before he left to manage his own company, starting in a small apartment in the city. Long before he could afford something as lavish as Escala to stay in, something a lot more like the place he had picked to be with Ana in. He had been such a ball of anger back then. Hating everyone and everything, he hadn’t even said goodbye to his parents. Had had just packed a bag and left, not speaking to them for months. He had run away from everything he had known, he couldn’t take the pain of being ‘the adopted one’ anymore. 

It had been months of extended sessions with Flynn before he had even managed to call his parents to say he was alive and well enough. He had never told them that the reason he left was that Elliot had almost caught Elena beating him. He hadn’t even told Flynn that. What a difference just over five years made. His life wasn’t perfect now (far from it), but compared to that shallow half life he had existed back then it was a paradise. Even more so if Ana would find it in her heart to forgive him.

“Christian, ten minutes until we eat!” Grace shouted up the stairs waking him from a half doze.

He dragged himself up, finding that Taylor had already brought him everything he needed as well as putting it away. He really did need to give that man a pay rise. He slammed through a fast shower and shave. Feeling better than he had in a long while, before changing into a white tee shirt and black jeans. Strange how Taylor had packed both the CEO clothes and the more casual Grey from the other apartment as well. Surely that had been a huge waste of time and effort to go to both apartments?

“CHRISTIAN GET YOUR BACKSIDE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” Grace shouted again.

Even at 27 that voice terrified him, running a hand through his damp hair so it at least looked reasonable he ran back down stairs. “Sorry Mom.” 

She smiled back at him, “Get in there you, your girlfriend is waiting for you. It’s never good to leave a pregnant woman hungry.”

Chicken casserole, mash potatoes, corn on the cob, a million vegetables, home made bread, Grace had really outdone herself. He really was home at last. Ana was already sat at the table as Carrick passed bowls around the table. Elliot had somehow found himself at the head of the table, more than likely so that Grey could sit next to Ana without any objections. Elliot looked up from pouring the wine to smirk at his brother. “Oh look, its lover boy. What’s the matter? Had to give yourself a quick hand job as Ana isn’t putting out?”

“E shut the fuck up.” He snapped, stealing a glance at Ana hoping she was okay. Only to find her trying not to laugh at the two of them.

“All of me, loves all of you. All your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections.” Elliot sang off tune.

Christian kicked him as he sat down. “I said shut it.”

“Boys, we have company. Play nicely.” Grace warned.

“Yes E, leave my girlfriend alone. She has been through enough.” He warned.

“Fifty, you back down. Sit down and have a nice meal with your family before I slap you.” Ana warned. 

Christian laughed, “Yes my lady, anything for you.”

Ana slapped him playfully on his shoulder, “Behave, I mean it.”

“Can I help that you distract me with your beauty?” he asked.

Elliot winked at him, passing the bottle of wine so he could pour himself a glass. “Whipped.” He murmured.

“Just because you can’t keep a girl more than ten seconds, don’t insult those of us with a living goddess as their partner.” He said dryly pouring himself a glass. Glad when Ana shook her head when he offered her some wine. The alcohol wasn’t good for her baby, certainly not the way she had been drinking it lately. 

“Christian, if I kiss you. Then will you shut up so we can eat in peace?” Ana exclaimed.

Grey mulled over the question, ignoring everyone else trying not to laugh at the banter. “At least until desert.” He promised.

Ana leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips. “Now shh, I am hungry.”

Christian did as he was ordered, tucking into his food. He couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed a meal this much. Dropping the odd word into the conversations flying over the table about everyone’s different work stories. Ana jumping into the conversation talking about some upcoming books that she was getting ready for release. He kept dropping extra spoonfuls of food on her plate every time she looked away. She needed to gain weight. She kept giving him the eye like she knew what he was doing, but she didn’t say anything. Then again, had he had three chicken breasts on his plate a minute ago? Seemed she was playing the same game back at him. 

Plates were cleared, he had stood to help before being waved to sit back down by his parents before peach cobbler came out. He struggled through a small piece of it, full from the main course. Taking pleasure in Ana tucking into it like she had never seen food before. This time he helped clear the table, leaving Elliot to show Ana around the house. After warning him with bodily harm if any embarrassing childhood stories came out of the trip.

Scraping plates humming way to himself as he stacked the dish washer as Grace stood watching him. “You really love her don’t you?” she asked.

“I really do mom, I’ve never met anyone like her.” Christian replied.

“Baby, since when do you hum? Or hold a conversation with your family without checking your phone every 15 seconds until you can leave without being rude? Since when do you laugh?” she asked, “You finally seem so happy and I missed all of that.”

“Since the day a girl was kind enough to show a total stranger kindness.” He said, “She saved me from a beating mom, she didn’t know who I was. She didn’t do it for money, or fame or connections. She did it because she has the hugest heart of anyone I have ever met. Maybe it’s big enough for both of us to share? Instead of my blackened little husk pf a heart.”

“Oh shh Christian, you always had a huge heart. You just never wanted to admit to it.” she snapped, “You are more loved and have a bigger capacity for love than you like to admit. Or you wouldn’t be doing everything to keep that girl in your life even after everything.”

Grey pulled a box out of his pocket to show his mother. “When this is all over, I’m gonna ask her.” 

Grace looked at the ring, “See? You have a heart hiding away there. She will love it.”

“Its not beautiful enough, not special enough.” He sighed, “I can’t find anything that is half as beautiful as she is.”

Grace laughed, “You have it bad boy, so very bad.”

He laughed with her, “Yeah I think I do.”

“Go on, go be with her.” Grace said slapping him with a t towel. “I can finish up here.” Of all the times she had imagined for her son, this was not one of them. Not the happy relaxed man he was when he was around that girl. She just hoped they could fix their problems.


	29. Chapter 29

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 29

Christian went on the hunt for his annoying brother, hoping that he hadn’t done too much teasing while he was gone. Of course he had plenty of embarrassing stories to retaliate with if required. Tonight had gone surprisingly well, Ana being welcomed as a part of the family At least she could get used to seeing most of them before the sugar obsessed, shopping obsessed, hyper little sister of his returned home for the holidays. Although, she was bound to check in as soon as one of the others told her about Ana. She would hate the fact she had missed Christian’s first girlfriend. 

He found them looking at pictures in the living room, the wall of love as his mother liked to call it. There were hundreds of framed pictures of every single member of her family, from the age they were adopted up to present day. Maybe one day Ana would be on the wall with them, and her baby. He was a little surprised quite how much he wanted her to be there. He would have come over to kiss her if he hadn’t realised they were talking in hushed tones about him.

“He walked out of the room Elliot, like five times. I don’t care if he was arranging me somewhere to stay. I’m grateful he did, but I needed him there with me.” Ana stated firmly, “He promised to be there for me, he breaks every promise he makes.”

“Chris doesn’t think like normal people do, he just sees problems and solutions.” Elliot answered, “Problem, Ana needs somewhere to stay where she is safe. Solution, call and arrange a place to stay. It wouldn’t cross his mind that he should stay. He is a teenager emotionally at best. He wouldn’t have done it to hurt you. His priority is to keep you safe, which he did.”

“I know he hates me for what happened. I know he won’t ever look at me the same now.” She sighed, “I know I wouldn’t if I was him.”

“Ana, this isn’t your fault.” Elliot promised hugging her, “It might take Chris a little time to adjust, but he will not leave you because of what Hyde did.”

“I can’t keep this baby.”

“I know that.” 

She cuddled into his arms, Christian felt a stab of jealousy as he watched them. He knew he couldn’t give her what she needed. He walked away slamming the back door behind him as he left the house. They would have heard him, he doubted they even cared. Of all the people she had to pick to cheat on him with, it had to be his own brother and in his old house. Not that she had exactly cheated, just accepted a hug from another man. A man she opened up to and shared secrets that she couldn’t share with her boyfriend. 

He walked down to the boathouse, lost in thought. He wanted to go home, but home didn’t exist without Ana. He was tired of all of this. He just wanted to rewind to a few weeks ago, that blissful weekend when they were happy. Pulling off his shirt and shoes he jumped into the lake. He had often come to swim here when his thoughts were too much. Right now he had no idea what to do, where to go or if he should just walk away from Ana for her own good. If she had never saved him that day, she never would have met him, she never would have got on Hyde’s bad side and never would have been attacked. She would have just been paid off by the company and gone to work somewhere else. She might be happier. 

The cold water cleared his head a little, not enough. Grey dragged himself wearily out of the water, curling up in some towels inside the boathouse. To see Ana watching him over the manuscript she was editing. “I will go back to Escala tonight, I know you don’t want me here.” He said quietly, “Call me when you want to talk.”

She got up without a word and headed back to the house. That was it, the moment of happiness they had over dinner was gone. They were back to being strangers again. “Ana, I love you.” He called after her. “Damn it Ana tell me what you want from me! If you hate me and want me to go just tell me! Don’t let me keep hoping that you will be my wife one day!”

Ana stopped, “What do I want Grey?” she shouted. “I want to be able to trust you again. I want to be able to look at you and not feel sick that you betrayed me. I want there to not be this thing growing inside me making you hate me. I want to know that I am still yours even though Hyde destroyed every little piece of me. I want to know that you forgive me for letting him take me. I want to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow knowing that you are in love with me and you won’t keep leaving me every ten seconds at the slightest little fight we have. I want to feel safe with you.”

“Ana baby, I just want to hold you and kiss away every ounce of pain that you feel. I want to be there for you, but I also want to be out there hunting down the fucking man who did this to you and do to him everything that he did to you. I want him to bleed for what he did to you. I am so fucking angry, but not at you. At everything you suffered. At that monster for hurting you. At myself for not damn well being there to protect you like I should be!” Christian exclaimed, “Ana, give me a clue please. I never dated anyone else. I have no idea what I am doing. I don’t want to lose you, I just don’t know how to keep you either.”

“Christian, I’m tired of all of this. The fighting, the pain, I just want us to be us again. I just don’t know how to be, not after everything he did to me.” She exclaimed.

“Can I hug you?” he asked. She nodded tiredly. He pulled her into his damp arms. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will be okay. Takes time, sometimes a very long time. All these years and I still have nightmares about what Elena did to me, what my birth mother did. Only when I found you did it start to feel better.”

“Christian, you don’t understand so much.” she whispered into his chest.

“I understand more than you think my love.” He said kissing her hair. “You enjoyed it didn’t you? The sex? His touch? Even though it was in force. Even though you didn’t want to. Your body reacted to it, found it pleasurable.”

She shivered, “How did you know?”

“Because beautiful, it is normal.” He promised, “The same thing happened to me all those years. At first it scared me when she used to beat me. Then my body started to understand after the abuse, came sex. Come on, a 15 year old that didn’t crave sex? It was all I used to think about at school. New ways to get myself punished, so I could feel that release afterwards. Even when she went too far and I landed in the hospital for days, I would crave that touch. You can’t help if your body reacts. If you become damp and certainly not if you orgasm during an assault.”

“You mean it?” she asked desperately.

“I mean it baby. None of this was your fault. Probably a lot of it was my fault, but never yours. I’m sorry to have dragged you into all of this. I hoped if you never found out who I was that you would be safe. Stupid of me.” He promised.

“Christian, that night you said you were going to talk to me. What were you going to tell me?” she asked.

“Everything, I couldn’t hide anymore. I just wanted you to love me. The real me, not the man I made up.” He admitted.

“I do love you.” She promised.

They kissed gently, before Ana laid her head back on his chest. “We need to get you to bed Mrs Grey of the future.” He said firmly.

“Bed Mr Steele of the future?” she asked.

“To sleep my love, nothing else.” He promised.

“Shame.” She complained.

“Not until your head is back right.” He swore, “I won’t risk losing you.”


	30. Chapter 30

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 30

Christian sat at his desk at work sipping his coffee, it was early. So early he was the first person there, he needed to be. His staff were being interviewed today by Taylor’s team. They had to locate the leak and plug it before anyone else got hurt. Taylor had already fired three of his own security, cutting it back to only the people he knew and trusted having worked with them for years. That was something Christian needed to do as well, starting with getting Andrea back. She and Ros were the foundation stone of his office. He couldn’t help but wonder if the leak had started because he had fired her. He didn’t trust that girl Ana had fired either. She was always a little too fast to spread gossip. He would have canned her even if Ana hadn’t. 

He checked his phone to see if she had messaged him, not yet probably sleeping in. She had a rough night. After they had gone back to the house, she had headed to bed as had he. Yes, in different rooms! Get your head out of the gutter. He wasn’t going to do any of that until he knew that it wouldn’t trigger bad memories for her. He had barely been asleep an hour before her screams had woken him, running down the corridor to find her wracked with nightmares. Holding her until she had fallen asleep again. He hoped her session with Flynn this morning would do some good. Although really, the only place he wanted to be right now was at her side. Right now, he would have to settle for a quick text message. 

Message me if you need me beautiful, I will always find time for you. I love you. CG

Ros came in, unpacking her bag at her desk. Ready for the day’s trials, she looked tired. He had piled far too much work on her lately while he was off on his benders. “Are you okay?” he asked, coming out to speak with her.

She looked up at him, “Oh just peachy. Our staff are trying to backstab us, your girlfriend gets attacked and now every single one of us could be next due to some little shit hacker being helped by some of our own. I’ve got a child at home Christian, one I’ve had to pack off to my mothers 50 miles away to try and keep him safe. I just want this over!”

“I’ve got Ana holed up at my parents, I’m sleeping in my old bedroom there and even then I have no idea if we are safe. How did we get to this? How did someone get through our security process?” he asked.

She glared at him, “Oh maybe because you fired 17 people in a week and we had to scramble to replace them cutting corners on security.”

“Sorry.” He sighed.

Not words she expected to hear from her boss, they softened her mood. “We can fix this, we just need to go through all the new staff. Check everyone in HR. I know Taylor has already started there. Then we need to find you a new PA who can actually cope with you.” She said making a list, “Oh, and Hyde. Do we think he is something to do with all of this?”

“Yeah, we do. There is a girl who got fired at publishing last night as well. Hannah something, worked under Ana. Pretty sure she is a huge part of this.” He commented.

“Hannah?” she asked, checking files, “Oh her! I never liked her to begin with, Hyde hired her. An ex girlfriend or something of the sort I believe. She kept trying to transfer over here to be your assistant, I wouldn’t let her. I may be swamped, but that girl gave me the creeps.”

He texted Taylor to look into it, “Both my and Ana’s files were taking. What if Ana was just collateral damage?” he mused out loud.

“Grey, did she have that picture on her desk?” Ros asked, “The one you keep?”

Christian’s face fell, “Yes she did and that happened not long after Hyde was fired. Hannah commenting on the picture was when all of this started. Crap, if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t have got attacked!”

“Hyde had it in for you from the moment you took over SIP.” Ros warned, “He was always trying to push his limits. Get promoted, move into this building. Nearer to you. I knew security found him here ‘working late’ a few times. I’d have fired him, but his contract was a little complex from the take over. We had to keep him on as Editor for a certain amount of time. Until the gross misconduct, there was nothing we could do.”

“Why wasn’t I informed of all of this when it happened?” he demanded.

“When have you cared about work lately?” she asked, “You were in court with all of that crap, then you were drunk, then you were with Ana, then you weren’t and you were drunk again. We couldn’t rely on you, so we did what we could.”

“Why did you stay?” he asked.

She shook her head, “Where else would I go? It’s my job to keep your baby running when you can’t. Some of us care enough about you to stick around even when you are an ass.”

“When this is all over I am sending you on a long paid vacation in the company jet.” He promised.

“Yeah well, go get your PA back first.” She commented.

“What flowers do I need?”

“Anything, but make sure the bunch is huge. She came back to help me out the other day a few hours and seeing you being a diva she left again.” Ros commented.

XXX

Christian dropped a huge vase of flowers on Andrea’s desk, along with a box of her favourite chocolates and season tickets to her favourite team. She looked up at him, “Do you want something?” she asked coolly.

“You back where you should be please.” He asked.

“Maybe I like it more where I am now.” She commented.

“Maybe you would like an extra 5 grand an annum?” he asked.

“If you fire me again, I will sue your ass.” She warned.

He nodded, “If I fire you again, you can fire me.”

“Okay, I assume you need me to go through the staff interviews with Taylor?” she asked crisply.

Christian relaxed, she always knew what he needed before he did. “Yes please, we need to focus on two recently fired members of staff.”

“Hyde and Hannah, I’m on it.” 

“Is there anything you don’t know?” he asked.

She looked up at him, “Why you are still here annoying me when I have things to do. I will sort out my files here, and be with you in an hour.”

This being nice thing was pretty easy once you got the hang of it. Next was the briefing from Taylor, he headed into security. “Progress?” he asked.

His head of security looked up. “Hannah was married to Hyde, both are in a reasonable amount of debt. Taking information about the company, and your business plans selling it to your rivals. When you fired Hyde, you broke the cycle. Stopping his ‘cash cow’ resolving his debts. I have passed everything over to the police, Hannah is being questioned on connections to the kidnapping case.”

“Then deal with her as well.” Christian snapped, “Any other links we need to resolve?”

“Not that we can find, yet. It will take a few more days to go over all the data. As of now, the only pins used to log in were of Hannah and Ana herself.” He commented.

“ANA?!” Grey exclaimed, “Why would Ana try to hurt me and herself!”

“The pin was used during the time she had been kidnapped, they were using her absence to gather information that Hyde no longer could from the Publishing mainframe. She was the only one to have the clearance.” He responded.

“Why would Hyde come after me? Surely there were other businesses he could sell information from far easier than mine? We have the highest quality firewall, the newest cutting edge security.” He demanded.

“Perhaps for that, you should ask Hyde?” he suggested.

“Oh don’t worry, I will!” Christian snapped.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 

Ana was having the worst day ever, starting with the fact that she slept late. Something she never did. She threw up 11 times before she even got to the office, a new world record of sorts. Her back ached, the bruises were sore. To top it all off she had a blinding migraine starting. The perfect day! Bad enough Christian had left before she even woke up, even if he did leave her a cute note. She had hoped to spend a few moments in his arms before she had to face yet another day in hell because after tonight he might not speak to her ever again. She had an appointment to attend, one that would make him angry, even if it did solve all of her problems. 

She was tired as well, which made it all seem worse as she struggled through her third black coffee working on the manuscripts that she had hoped Hannah had finished off. Of course that woman was only bothered about gossip not actually working. So now she was rushing over them, skipping her lunch break so they could meet the 5pm printer deadlines. She was sure Christian would have messaged or called her, she just couldn’t dare stop. Even the time she spent throwing up put her behind making her feel even more guilty about the baby growing inside of her. All she wanted to do was put her head down on her desk and give in to the seductive voice in her head telling her to close her eyes. 

Yet somehow against it all, Ana managed to finish off every piece dropping them off with a good five minutes to go before the end of day cut off. She stretched tiredly, thank god that was over. Maybe soon she could get a few days off to get her head back together in place of that week she hadn’t been able to get. Part of her wanted to go home to her mother, be comforted. That would never happen, her mother blamed her for the million marriage break ups. For ruining her figure by being born, well for everything really. She would have to go back and lace flowers on Ray’s grave soon, she hadn’t been back there since the day of the funeral. She couldn’t face it, she missed her step father too much. If she didn’t go, she could fake to herself he was just busy working. 

Pulling out her phone finally she noticed a million missed calls from both Grey and Flynn. Damn it, she had missed an appointment with him today. With everything she had just forgotten. There were a few cute texts from Christian, then concerned ones, leading on to outright demanding ones of why she wasn’t answering. He was worried, that was never a good thing. She couldn’t bring herself to text him back, not right now. Just in case she spilt where she was going tonight, he would just have to worry a little longer. If Taylor checked security he would see she was at work and fine, or had been the whole day.

Ana pulled on her coat and hit the street, seeing Taylor waiting outside with a sleek black car. “May I offer you a ride Miss Steele?” he asked.

She nodded, “Not back to the house, I have somewhere else I need to go and you can’t tell Christian where it is.”

“Mr Grey has been quite concerned for your well being today after you didn’t answer your phone. He sent me to watch over you, I informed him that you were busy at work and well enough. However if this location is likely to delay you passed dinner I suggest you let him know.” Taylor commented, “I also can not allow you to do anything that could be considered foolish or dangerous by Mr Grey.”

“Depends if you consider destroying Hyde’s love child foolish.” She sighed, “I know he will.”

Taylor thought about it, “I think it is the mother’s choice in a rape situation. Although yes, Mr Grey will be disappointed, you have to do what is right for you. May I at least ask if the doctor is professional?”

“Yes, it’s not a folding table and dirty knife place. I will be okay.” Ana assured him, “I just need a ride or I will get a taxi.”

“Please, let me take you.” Taylor offered, holding open the door. “Text Mr Grey so he knows you are alive please.”

Sliding into the car, Ana pulled out her phone for a quick text:

Sorry, been really swamped at work. I’m going to be staying late, so don’t worry if I am not home when you get there. I’m with Taylor. I love you. Bye.

A few seconds later his reply hit:

Ana, Jesus I was worried to death! Are you sure you are ok? I can be with you in a few minutes. Just let me know, or Taylor can bring you to me and you can work from here. Concerned. CG

I’m fine, just busy. Bye.

Ana turned her phone off, she knew that the next thing he would do would be call her and then Taylor, but by then she would be in the hospital and it was too late. “Taylor, don’t tell him.” She begged as he dropped her off, hearing his phone ringing as she got out of the car. 

“No Miss.” He promised, “Shall I wait for you?”

“No need, I don’t know how long they will keep me.”

“Miss, if I might say. Could you do with the company?” he asked.

“Yes.” She admitted.

“Very well miss.” Taylor turned off his phone, slipping it back into the car. Before leading her into the building.  
“He will fire you.” She warned.

“He needs me too much.” Taylor assured her as they signed in.

“The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.” She was told crisply. Clearly the nurse didn’t approve of abortions. 

“What method have you chosen?” Taylor asked.

“Suction.” Ana answered, “Ten minutes to perform, an hour or so to rest off the painkillers. Then I am allowed home. Although I booked a hotel room for a few nights, I can’t face Christian. Not right after. It will be weeks before I finish bleeding this little shit out of my body. Suction was the fastest way to rid myself of it, surgery takes too long and the medication. Well, I don’t want to wait six weeks to have it slowly die inside me. I want the damn thing out of me right now!”

Taylor took her hand, surprised by the anger in her voice. The deep resentment of what had been done to her. She reminded him of someone else, a few years before, talking about what Elena had done to him. “When you are resting I will fetch some clothes for you, set them up in the hotel. I won’t give Christian the address, you need some time. I will give it Flynn, you may need him.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Miss, you can trust me. I keep Mr Grey’s secrets, I can keep yours.” He assured her, giving her a brief embrace as the doctor came over. “See you in a few hours.”

Ana followed the doctor, ready to have the worst part of her life start to be over.


	32. Chapter 32

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 32

Christian stood outside the police desk waiting being taken to see Hyde. They had submitted all the information they had found a few hours ago, leading to Hannah being arrested as part of the kidnapping. Along with three other members of the staff that all appeared to be part of the team. Meeting up in strange locations, passing information on to the highest bidder taking a cut for themselves along the way of course. The three appeared to just be runners, where Hannah and Hyde were the real brains behind it all. Hannah had spilled everything the second she had been arrested. That Hyde was still her husband, she had used her maiden name on her application form. Very sloppy that his team hadn’t noticed that! Grey was not impressed. 

Hannah had told them that Hyde had a vendetta against Grey, kept telling her that he stole Hyde’s life. That it was his fault that Hyde had to struggle up from nothing. She even admitted that Hyde had told her that he would kill Grey. Given the fact that Hannah was covered in half healed bruises as much as Ana was, the beaten house wife story would be convincing enough to gain her a lesser charge for co operation. She insisted she had nothing to do with the kidnapping, only the fact that she had been told he would make sure Ana was out of the way a few days and that she had been given the key card to access files. Downloading several gig of data from the main frame that she wasn’t entirely sure what it was.

The police had recovered the device, soon they would have answers what all of this was about. Before that for his own peace of mine and for the investigation, he would have to face Hyde. He would have to keep his temper in there, the cameras needed to record everything as testimony for the case. If Ana could face Hyde in the court room after everything, he could face him here. He would have to.

Ana….

Christian pulled out his phone to check, still no answer. He had been ringing and texting for hours. “Taylor, have you heard from Ana?” he asked.

“No sir, she is in her office working and hasn’t left it all day according to her security.” He reassured him.

“Something isn’t right.” Grey commented he could feel a nagging sense of something very bad about to happen.

“Shall I check on Miss Steele when we are done here?” he asked.

“Yes, stay with her until she is safe.” Grey asked, “She missed seeing Flynn this morning, last night she was very upset. She didn’t sleep well.”

“That is to be expected Sir, with everything.” Taylor commented.

“Even so, she is hiding something.” He said staring at his phone like he was willing it to ring. “Go after her, I will be fine here.”

Taylor knew better than to argue, “Sawyer will be here with you, try not to do anything foolish in there.”

“I promise nothing.” Christian snapped.

“Accidents happen, but not with a camera watching.” Taylor commented.

He hated that fact that his head of security was right, yes Hyde would get what was coming to him. It would take time, planning. More that likely large amounts of money, but he would suffer. Christian knew that. Right now it didn’t help him when he was worried about what was going on in Ana’s head. She was so different since the attack, so withdrawn from life. Even with his family, she would have little bursts of happiness and joining in. Then retreat back into solemn quiet mixed with an unhealthy amount of over thinking the situation. Taking her own council instead of allowing others to help her through everything. 

It was like twenty years of therapy was finally starting to make sense to Grey as he saw another shell shocked person that reminded himself to strongly of where he used to be. The life that Ana had saved him from, he just didn’t know if he was strong enough to save her from it. He worried that he would make her even worse. 

Christian was called into the viewing area to watch the interrogation, he would be called in if needed. He wanted to be, yet also didn’t. Not knowing how much control he could keep against the man who had ruined his life. He still wondered if he had told Ana sooner, the fight wouldn’t have happened which wouldn’t have led her into Hyde’s arms. Flynn would more than likely tell him off for placing incorrect blame when he should be helping the victim. God he needed a drink!

Wait, when had he last been drunk?

Days? 

A week? 

It was hard to remember, this nightmare blurring the edges of his reasoning so he couldn’t tell time anymore. Not since his suicide attempt. It seemed so stupid that he had even tried, and tried so badly that he didn’t even programme the computer correctly to pass funds where he wanted it to go. He was glad that Taylor had caught most of the suicide notes before they got out, before the press found one lurking around somewhere that some ex staff member had sold to them. That would ruin him, they already thought he was mentally damaged. The fact he actually was is beside the point. He had to show a brave strong stature or business wouldn’t respect him.

Even so, a stiff double whisky before bed and falling asleep in Ana’s arms seemed amazing right now. He ached more for need of her, than the drink. She was his anchor, keeping him sane. As long as she was there, he knew that he was fine. Without her, he started to doubt. Everything.

He was called to come speak to Hyde. Given a sheet of questions, told to follow it exactly. Not rise to any bait, not do anything stupid. Yeah, they really knew him, not! He straightened his tie, smoothing down his grey suit making sure he looked every inch the CEO of his company as he slammed through that door to face the man he wanted to kill. This wasn’t Christian going to work, this was the Dom coming out to play. “Hyde, why did you ask for me?” he demanded, screw the questions he was meant to ask. 

Hyde smirked at him, “I’m shocked you don’t remember me baby. Has it been so long?” 

“I have never met you before these last few weeks. Stop telling the police we have a history.” He snapped. 

“Oh, if only that was so. Mr Orphan.” Hyde laughed, “Always got the best of everything at the home. Toys, food, parents, and for what? Because he pretended to not be able to talk! Pathetic really.” Hyde purred, “I should have been adopted by the Grey’s not you! You didn’t deserve them. Filthy little whore that you are. I bet your mother sold you for plenty of money. I bet her clients loved a little innocent boy to play with!”

Grey launched at him, held back only by the police. “Don’t you talk about my parents!” he growled, “Don’t you even dare to speak of my birth mother. Yes she was a whore, she couldn’t help that. She would never allow anyone to hurt her child.”

“Oh really?” Hyde asked, “Funny, I know all about the scars. Your subs don’t like to keep their mouths shut.”

“My professional and personal life is covered by NDA. You can know nothing!” Grey shouted.

“Ask Leila what she told me.” Hyde chuckled, “Then again, maybe you would rather ask Ana how much she enjoyed being with me. How much better a lover I am. How she hated when you forced her into your bed for her job!”

Grey’s eyes turned black, he went for Hyde again. Only to be bailed into a room himself until he calmed down. He was going to kill that man! SOON! How dare he talk of Ana like that! How dare he talk of his family like that!

He hadn’t been raped as a baby had he?

Doubt had crept into his mind now. How had he known about everything?

“Public records from the court case admit to your scars, the abuse from your birth mother’s pimp, about sub names.” Sawyer told him calmly, bringing him a hot coffee.

Christian sipped it gratefully, trying to calm the screaming beast within. “And the adoption house? I wasn’t in one, I’d remember.”

“Actually you were, Taylor dug this up waiting for Miss Steele and emailed it over.” Sawyer forwarded it to Grey’s phone so he could read it.

“Oh fuck.” Grey let slip as he read.

“Yeah, Hyde and you were in a home together for a few months before the Grey’s took you in. Hyde was on the list for them to adopt, he wouldn’t settle in the home. He was destructive, violent. They took him back to the home a few weeks before you were found and brought there.” Sawyer explained, not knowing how much his boss was taking in.

“Ana was taken, tortured and fucked. Nearly killed and all because I ended up in a home that he wanted to be in?” Christian exclaimed.

“That seems to be the basics yes. The police have called Flynn in for a mental evaluation.” He commented.

“Is Ana home yet?” he asked tiredly.

“No, Taylor says she will be at the office late. That she has messaged you.” 

Christian checked his phone, he hadn’t heard it buzz. True enough there was a message there, but it didn’t feel right. He was worried, she assured him that she was fine, just working late. Somehow he didn’t believe her. “Sawyer, take me to the office. I want to catch up on things until Ana gets home.”


	33. Chapter 33

Returning a Kindness  
Chapter 33

Christian couldn’t face going home straight from seeing Hyde, knowing Ana wouldn’t be there it seemed pointless to go make stilted conversation with his family. At least until he calmed down a little. He ended up at the office, going through more of the personal files. Checking security, changing passwords, whatever he thought might resolve the issues they were facing. The itch to do something stupid was strong in him tonight, he had messaged Ana a few more times. Rung her to find her phone was switched off. He had already cleared two glasses of whisky trying to calm down, not daring to risk any more. If he found himself in that ‘sweet spot’ it would be almost impossible to stop himself. Taylor would ring him when Ana got home, and then he would get the man to swing by and pick him up. Until then, Grey tried to force himself to focus on his work. 

Trying to ignore the nagging voice in his head telling him to drink, Christian felt around in his jacket pocket for the packet of cigarettes he had stashed there. Smoking wasn’t really his thing, he had always found it a disgusting habit. Lately it calmed his nerves, he only smoked the odd one. Hell, he had had this packet for a month and still it had three cigarettes left inside. Lighting one, Christian took a few drags trying to steady his breathing like Flynn had taught him to. An idle glance at his watch told him that it was nearly midnight. Shit, where was Ana? Surely she couldn’t be working this late?

He rang Taylor, “Is Ana home yet?” The hesitant pause on the other end set off every alarm bell he had. “Where is she?” he demanded.

“Miss Steele decided it was for the best if she spent a night or two alone in a hotel to think things through. She has arranged a few days off work. She told me to tell you not to worry, and she would call you in a few days.” Taylor commented.

Christian’s temper was ready to explode, “And she couldn’t tell me herself?”

“She thought it was better you had no reason to worry.”

“Worry? That she is in the middle of a rape court case, pregnant and upset and has now run off on her own where I can’t keep an eye on her or help her? Why would that worry me!” he shouted down the phone.

“Mr Grey, she made me swear to not tell you where she was staying.” Taylor said quietly.

“You better hope she comes to no fucking harm or I will make sure you end up disappearing!” Grey snapped snapping the connection. His Ana, out there in the city all alone and upset. Anything could happen to her, what if they hadn’t caught everyone involved in the leak? What if she was kidnapped again? Tortured again? What if he lost her for good? He wouldn’t survive losing her a second time, he knew that in his heart. His phone buzzed in his pocket, “You better have found her Taylor!” he snapped. 

“Chris, it’s me.” 

“Elliot, have you heard from Ana?” he demanded.

“Erm yes, I mean. I think you should get down to our bar. Fast. There’s something you need to see.” Elliot said.

“Is she okay?” 

“Depends on what you mean by okay, Christian you need to keep your temper. If you can’t do that, I will deal with this myself.” His brother warned. 

“Is she hurt?” he demanded.

“Not psychically.”

That didn’t comfort Grey in the slightest. “Ten minutes.” He warned. Grabbing his jacket to slam downstairs, Sawyer was waiting for him and seemed to expect the destination almost before Christian told him it. 

Of all the million scenarios that had flashed through Grey’s mind on the journey here, none of them could prepare him for what he found there. The bar was closed, empty other than his brother and Ana sat at a booth. Well, if you could call the slumped across the seat sobbing her eyes out drunken woman sitting. Ana looked a complete state, goodness knows how long she had been drinking. Far too bloody long, he knew that. Her make up running all down her face, her hair all over the place. Sobbing in his brothers arms like her heart was broken. She had finally hit rock bottom, finally stopped pretending that she was fine.

Christian slipped into the booth next to them, politely yet firmly taking Ana into his own arms. “Get her some water.” He asked his brother quietly. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her. “It’s okay Ana, everything will be okay. Hyde won’t ever get to you again. I promise. I will always protect you from now on. I won’t even sleep, I will always watch over you.” He promised.

“You don’t understand.” She sniffed into his now soaking wet tear stained shirt.

“I do baby, I know how hard this is.” He reassured her, “I will help you. I’m here, always here for you. I will never leave you.”

“You will, you will hate me.” She sobbed.

“I could never hate you Anastasia.” 

“You will, she’s gone, dead and it’s all my fault.” Another flood of tears coming forth as she did. 

Christian was confused, looking at his brother for help as he took the water from him. Trying to make her sip a little, sober her enough they could get her home. Then the penny dropped as he looked at her flat stomach. Ana had been barely showing this morning when he left, but she was showing. “The baby?” he asked desperately.

“I killed her. You will hate me because I killed her.”

Grey closed his eyes, counting slowly to ten and then twenty when he was still struggling to find a calm space before speaking. “Ana, why?” he asked quietly. 

“Because you wanted her, I didn’t. I couldn’t even bare to think about her growing inside of me. If I can’t bare pregnancy, how could I ever be a mother to her?” she asked desperately. 

Grey’s heart dropped, these last few days playing with the idea of being a father and now nothing. He rubbed his hand over her empty belly, mourning the loss of a child that hadn’t even been his. “Oh Ana.” He sighed.

“See!” She snapped pulling away, “You hate me, I knew.”

“No Ana, I don’t hate you.” He promised, pulling her into a tender kiss. She fought him at first, but he held her tightly deepening the kiss until he knew she got the message. “I just wish you had told me, so I could be there for you.”

“I thought you would try to stop me.” 

“No baby, in the end it is your choice. As much as I want to raise a child with you, if you don’t want that I’m respect your wishes.” He promised.

“I do, but not this child.” She explained, “I can’t let Hyde ruin our life.”

“He won’t, I will make sure.” Grey vowed, forcing her to drink some more water, She looked about ready to pass out. “Shall we get you to bed Mrs Grey of the future?” he asked.

Ana pushed passed him, heading to the bathroom to throw up. Christian sighed running his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t judge her, not some of the states he had been in lately. “Did she call you?” he asked his brother.

“No, the bar owner did.” Elliot answered, “I sat with her for a while as she drank, trying to calm her. I wanted to call you, but she refused.”

Christian wanted to punch something, but settled for a series of more deep breaths. “She pushes us away, knowing we can help her.”

“So do you.” Elliot commented. 

Grey would argue, but he knew it was true. “We are both fifty shades of fucked up.”

“So maybe one can help the other?” his brother suggested. 

“I wouldn’t want to break her more.” Christian commented.

“You two are made for each other. Trust your heart.” Elliot warned, “You two can make it, don’t give up on her.”

Grey nodded, “I’d better go see if she is still alive.”

They found Ana curled up in a ball asleep in the bathroom. Grey took off his jacket wrapping it around her, before picking her too thin frame up to carry her to the car. “Where is her hotel?” he asked, “She might feel better if she doesn’t wake up with the whole family all over her.”

“Taylor is outside still, he will know where.” Elliot promised, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Christian shook his head, “No, I think we need to do this on our own.”

“Don’t get angry at her.” 

“I will try.”


End file.
